Jokingly but in earnest…
Some days
I feel
like an octopus,
trying to cope with soooo many things,
Some days
I feel
I need an umbrella,
to shield me from their onslaught,
Some days
I feel
A divorce
from the perpetrators
could be the solution to this pollution
But most days
I feel
a good laugh or a sleep brings the best relief!
Le grà,
Marie xx
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/74951/posts/2204449929
I wrote this post one morning as I really struggled to cope, to accept, to hope…ACCEPTANCE!
When I think back I can still recall how visceral my emotion was that morning.
We had struggled under the weight of both our children being victims of bullying and its short and long term consequences. We watched both our children suffer and we searched for answers to many questions…
With no avenues left to follow, sadly one day we were forced to accept that the situation was outside of our control. I recall the pain of frustration and of what felt like failure.
We offered it up to God, to the Universe, to the silent expanse of the countryside… We were exhausted, depleated and we knew we had to sit back and develop patience.
We tried to listen with love, we spoke with love and we encouraged with love. We learned to trust, to hope and to let go control. We let go our need to fix, our need for things to be as we thought they should be.
As I look back now, it’s amazing how acceptance, love and time changes things!
Hardly two years on, time has intervened…
With time, he re-tuned his body clock. He began to re-engage with life. His motivation to study slowly improved. He spoke of sitting his exams. We quietly encouraged him to do what he thought was best for him… And it worked!
He took back power over his own life. He regained his voice; the damage from bullying being slowly put behind him. He decided how he wanted his future to look…
Now reaching towards the end of his second term of college we see… that acceptance, love and time... was the key.
For our daughter, who continues to struggle with her mental health, a mischievous puppy named Andy may well be… the key!
If you’d like to follow their journey as Andy works to become the first Psychiatric Service Dog in Ireland and Emma resorts to training him herself, while continuing to lobby politicians; although losing hope that her months of requesting them to help her make this service available, will come to any fruition… then you can find them on Instagram @reallyhandyandy or on Facebook at Emma and Andy.
Has bullying impacted your life? What was the key to overcoming your challenge?
Much love,
Mindfully Marie xx
As hard as I’ve tried, I can’t paint the pain of bullying experienced by our son because the canvas is blank and will remain blank as our son, kept almost all of the painful details to himself.
What I can paint is what we as parents noticed at home, which included, his frustration shown through nasty comments and angry outbursts. His loss of interest in his hobbies. His withdrawal into himself. His sleep pattern changed dramatically, unable to get to sleep resulting in him sleeping longer into the morning and soon he developed insomnia. He was awake at night and asleep during the day. We slowly noticed a real change in his pleasant and warm personality. All these changes led to self-isolation and school refusal.
We stood by helplessly, watching our warm, outgoing, resilient child slowly disengage from all aspects of his normal functioning life.
This did not happen over-night. Being bullied was something that chipped away at his resilience and eventually over years, wore him down.
Every child, no matter their age, sex, nationality, colour or faith is entitled to attend school, to feel happy and included. They deserve to achieve, to the best of their ability, without the fear of bullying and its devastating effects.
The pain of his upset is still visceral as I recall and share these memories. It hurts because I realise, yet again, that the sheer frustration and powerlessness we felt came from feeling unheard in a broken system. This feeling of isolation compounded the impact bullying was having on our family.
Thankfully we have, as a family and individually, empowered ourselves to move forward whilst not diminishing the pain of the past. But instead wanting to put our learning to the service of others. You might like to read our son’s attitude, Bullying…”I am grateful for it all”…
Have you or your children experienced bullying? Did it wear down your child’s resilience? Did it render you silent and make you feel powerless?
I would love to hear your experience so that together we can let other families know that they are not alone.
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
Hello Norway,
Welcome on board! And thank you…
Actually, I’d like to take a minute or two to thank everybody!
I won’t start naming Countries or individual names because you know I mean you, and all because you stopped in to visit and share such kind and encouraging words this past week, since Andy joined our family.
The thing is you will never know how much of a difference your words have made to both myself and Emma!
And of course to Andy…as you can see he’s under so much pressure!
Emma has just started an Instagram account and she would love you to visit her and Andy @reallyhandyandy where she will document and share their journey towards improved mental health and where she hopes to fulfill her dream and goal of paving the way towards the availability of Psychiatric Service Dogs in Ireland.
This post explains in more detail… Bullying & Beyond… 10.Painting the Pain, part two.
Do you have a dog or other amazing pet? What difference does your pet make to your life? Have you heard of Psychiatric Service Dogs?
With heartfelt wishes,
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
