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The Power is yours… Quote No. 4 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No.4 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

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I’d be lying if I said that today’s quote didn’t apply to me.

As a matter of fact Anne must have placed this quote right here especially for me to find it today!

It has been a challenging few days but I am in a good place thanks to a number of different things, namely,

The support of my wonderful family, good friends, time, acknowledging and accepting my emotions, owning my voice, speaking my truth, non-judgemental love allowing me accept that I can’t control how other people react but I can control how I react and accepting that my private logic is my perspective and that others are entitled to their private logic or their perspective too.

Knowing that “Each challenge helps you to grow” is a great insight and I am blessed being able to understand that without challenges we would never flourish or reach our potential.  “Today is a good day.  I Choose to make it so.”

Thank you Anne for this wonderful tool kit brimming with love, forgiveness, self-care reminders and boundless encouragement!
Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine. (If you would like your own copy of Anne’s book send your enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

 

 

The Power is yours… Quote No. 20 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No.20 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

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When my children were bullied into silence, I hadn’t realised that I was bullied too.  It took professional support to help me see this.

I’ve had to relearn the importance of my own voice and how to use it to good effect.  My opinion matters and now, I can say it with confidence!

Have you had to relearn the importance of your own voice?  Are you confident that your opinion matters?
Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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(Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

The Power is yours… Quote No.64 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No.64 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

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Have you had times during lockdown when you were unsure of what to do?  Did you consider it from different angles and seek advice from others?  Were you able to “Trust that things will work out in their own way and in their own time.”

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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(Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

The Power is yours… Quote No.80 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No.80 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

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Now that we have more time on our hands, share it freely but think before you unwittingly create a new unspoken contract. It may or may not be easy for you to move on after lockdown if you’ve developed a binding contract!

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Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

The Power is yours… Quote No.91 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Welcome!

To check out the backstory The Power is yours… Quote No.99 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Others”

Quote 91

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Did you have to adjust your phone or other technology in order to read this quote?

Did that throw you off momentarily?

I’m deliberately trying to pull you into the moment. I’m hoping to take you out of the trance of daily life.  Out of autopilot.

A few weeks ago we spent a lot of time in autopilot, thinking of everything we had to do.

Today we have an opportunity to stay with those tomatoes…

because we have been given the gift of time!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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(Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine – Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…Loneliness

 

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

In my previous post I wrote about the importance of self-care, you might like to read it 4.Self-care x 10! When you or your children are struggling to cope with bullying it is very important to continue to practice self-care during and after the event.   Being bullied can cause strong feelings of loneliness which come from the isolation of bullying. Bullying thrives on isolation and fear. Lack of access to information, lack of support and worse still lack of knowing which way to turn or who to ask for help all serve to enhance the isolation and loneliness you feel!

The loneliness was something I found hardest to cope with as I struggled to find answers and effective support.

But there is help out there.  Don’t allow yourself to be rendered voiceless.

I want YOU to know that I am here for YOU and YOU are not alone…reach out, share your concerns and talk about the bullying you or your child are experiencing.

What has been your experience of the loneliness of bullying?  How would you describe the loneliness of bullying?  How did you overcome it?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

Bullying & Beyond… Blossom

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

via Daily Prompt: Blossom

 

‘NYCTINASTY’…that’s what it’s called when a flower closes in on itself at night to protect itself from a night-time chill or a nectar thief such as bats.

 

But when you watch your own child close in on themselves the ‘NYCTI’ vanishes from your mind and all that remains are the questions, those ‘NASTY’ nagging, unanswered questions!

 

You can see your child’s pain and of course being a parent, you can feel their pain but the worst pain is the helplessness you feel being unable to rightify their pain.

 

There are, you begin to realise, so many things outside your control but over time I’ve learnt that there is so much you CAN do…

 

You can regularly let your child know that you see that IT’S NOT EASY for them at the moment.

 

You can also voice, with confidence, even if you don’t feel confident, that you ARE THERE FOR THEM and that you have their back.

 

You can also be adult enough to realise that the temper tantrums and door slammings are their ONLY way of voicing what they are otherwise unable to verbalise.

 

Even when their words sting and hurt you to the core you can hold your tongue, which surprisingly is the strongest muscle in our body yet is possibly the weakest when we feel under attack!

 

The closing-in, the isolating self-protection you see in your child, unlike the flower’s nyctinasty, is not something that reverses itself overnight like the flower that reopen to the first rays of morning warmth.

 

Your child’s process of re-opening to the world, may take much longer… But be patient and ‘JUST LOVE’ your child and in time they will re-open to the world around them, and you will see how amazing it is when they BLOSSOM!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Bullying & Beyond…Big Boys…

 

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

Whenever our daughter was bullied she would invariably come home upset and tell us or sometimes her upset would become obvious to us after a while, when we took the time to Really Listen!

It was always upsetting to see her so distressed, usually she felt very lonely having been excluded or she was confused and frustrated as to why she was constantly called names and verbally abused. But either way we could comfort her and reassure her that the bullying was not about her but always about the bullies.

However, it was not so easy to offer support when our son experienced bullying simply because you can’t help a child who is being bullied, if you don’t know about it.

For a long time, our son kept the bullying to himself and kept the upset deep inside. I think our son did not want to add to our worries by sharing the difficulty he was having.  I also think another contributing factor to his silence, was social norms. These powerful messages or ways of behaving which are normalised within a society or culture are very powerful and from a young age, boys are conditioned to be tough, be manly, don’t be a cry-baby, a tell-tale, or “a grass,” running with the story to parents or teachers and above all, they are bombarded with the message that whatever you do… don’t cry!

If you’d like an excellent insight into bullying I highly recommend you visit Weeping Pines and read Parikhit’s post which shares his experience of bullying… Boys dont Cry

https://duttaparikhit.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/boys-dont-cry/

If you suspect your son is being bullied, discuss bullying in general while having dinner together.  Point out that asking for help means being strong not weak. An analogy might be helpful such as saying: When you play hurling you don’t do everything alone – so it’s important to have a team around you in life too! It might also help to compare asking for help to being similar to training: A good sportsman needs to practice the things he is not good at or things that are new for him, so asking for help also takes practice.

Have you or your child been bullied?  If so did cultural and social norms play a part in maintaining your distress?

Let’s get a conversation going about bullying! Let’s break down the silence around bullying and change some out-dated social and culturally accepted norms.

Le grà (with love),

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…Inverted

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

Inverted means to turn (something) upside down
Or to change the position, order, or relationship of things so that they are the opposite of what they had been.

When you live with something challenging like bullying for long enough and see the destructive effect it has on you and your family, you need to realise that you have two choices, namely

1. stay trapped within the challenge, trying to escape, or
2. find the gift within the challenge and grow it!

When all else failed us as parents, and we could find no solution to the destructive effects bullying had on our children, we stopped trying to find the solutions we wanted to find.

We didn’t admit defeat but we accepted that this was where we were, nothing more, nothing less. We took our focus off all that had gone wrong. We shifted our lens to focus on building our resilience. We stepped back, paused and regrouped. Then we hit back with the most powerful weapon of all… love.

We opened ourselves up, to just love. We didn’t hold out expectations. We didn’t compare. We didn’t complain that life was unfair. We refocused instead on every positive we could find. We spoke from a place of positivity and within a short space of time we began to notice change!

And now, a mere 12 months later, our son has completed his first year in college and has spent his summer touring a number of European countries.  Our daughter is pushing forward with her campaign to have Psychiatric Service Dogs recognised in Ireland and is in the process of training Ireland’s first every Psychiatric Service Dog, Doris.  I’ve experienced, for myself, how cathartic (healing) writing and sharing is, especially when it is done within a safe and creative space, surrounded by a supportive community who identify with my posts and offer positive and affirming feedback.  Because of this support I’ve written over thirty posts on the topic of bullying.

I was recently nominated for an award by Terri at Reclaiming Hope.  https://reclaiminghope.blog/

However, living with fibromyalgia/CFS means I have to constantly prioritise my time and energy.  I don’t commit time to taking part in awards but I am always pleased to be nominated for an award and I am grateful to Terri for her thoughtful introduction which I’d like to share with you…

Marie from Create Space. 

Marie shares her family’s story of bullying, and the devastating effects it has on the mental health of those affected. Although the subject matter has the potential to be weighty and heartbreaking, Marie balances this by sharing how one can rise above the effects of bullying and make a difference in the world.

So, when you face your next challenge, what will you choose?
Will you choose to…
1. remain devastated, weighed down and heartbroken, or will you turn the challenge you face on its head, inverted and
2. rise above your challenge to make a difference in the world!

The choice is yours!

Thank you to all who continue to follow, read and share their feelings, thoughts and comments on my bullying posts.  I would not have reached this point without you!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

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