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Normal?

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It’s not unusual to hear people say “It’s just another day” or “same old same old.”  Or you might hear people wishing their life away saying ” I wish it was Friday” or “Will the weekend ever come”.  People often hate normality!  Normality is dull and boring, same picture, same story…just another day!

But when your dull, ordinary, normal day is taken from you, that’s the day you’ll realise there was nothing dull, ordinary or normal about normality!

Don’t underestimate normality, it’s only when it’s gone that you’ll realise how valuable normality was!

Le grà,

Marie xx

Bullying & Beyond… Blossom

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

via Daily Prompt: Blossom

 

‘NYCTINASTY’…that’s what it’s called when a flower closes in on itself at night to protect itself from a night-time chill or a nectar thief such as bats.

 

But when you watch your own child close in on themselves the ‘NYCTI’ vanishes from your mind and all that remains are the questions, those ‘NASTY’ nagging, unanswered questions!

 

You can see your child’s pain and of course being a parent, you can feel their pain but the worst pain is the helplessness you feel being unable to rightify their pain.

 

There are, you begin to realise, so many things outside your control but over time I’ve learnt that there is so much you CAN do…

 

You can regularly let your child know that you see that IT’S NOT EASY for them at the moment.

 

You can also voice, with confidence, even if you don’t feel confident, that you ARE THERE FOR THEM and that you have their back.

 

You can also be adult enough to realise that the temper tantrums and door slammings are their ONLY way of voicing what they are otherwise unable to verbalise.

 

Even when their words sting and hurt you to the core you can hold your tongue, which surprisingly is the strongest muscle in our body yet is possibly the weakest when we feel under attack!

 

The closing-in, the isolating self-protection you see in your child, unlike the flower’s nyctinasty, is not something that reverses itself overnight like the flower that reopen to the first rays of morning warmth.

 

Your child’s process of re-opening to the world, may take much longer… But be patient and ‘JUST LOVE’ your child and in time they will re-open to the world around them, and you will see how amazing it is when they BLOSSOM!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Bullying & Beyond…Inverted

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

Inverted means to turn (something) upside down
Or to change the position, order, or relationship of things so that they are the opposite of what they had been.

When you live with something challenging like bullying for long enough and see the destructive effect it has on you and your family, you need to realise that you have two choices, namely

1. stay trapped within the challenge, trying to escape, or
2. find the gift within the challenge and grow it!

When all else failed us as parents, and we could find no solution to the destructive effects bullying had on our children, we stopped trying to find the solutions we wanted to find.

We didn’t admit defeat but we accepted that this was where we were, nothing more, nothing less. We took our focus off all that had gone wrong. We shifted our lens to focus on building our resilience. We stepped back, paused and regrouped. Then we hit back with the most powerful weapon of all… love.

We opened ourselves up, to just love. We didn’t hold out expectations. We didn’t compare. We didn’t complain that life was unfair. We refocused instead on every positive we could find. We spoke from a place of positivity and within a short space of time we began to notice change!

And now, a mere 12 months later, our son has completed his first year in college and has spent his summer touring a number of European countries.  Our daughter is pushing forward with her campaign to have Psychiatric Service Dogs recognised in Ireland and is in the process of training Ireland’s first every Psychiatric Service Dog, Doris.  I’ve experienced, for myself, how cathartic (healing) writing and sharing is, especially when it is done within a safe and creative space, surrounded by a supportive community who identify with my posts and offer positive and affirming feedback.  Because of this support I’ve written over thirty posts on the topic of bullying.

I was recently nominated for an award by Terri at Reclaiming Hope.  https://reclaiminghope.blog/

However, living with fibromyalgia/CFS means I have to constantly prioritise my time and energy.  I don’t commit time to taking part in awards but I am always pleased to be nominated for an award and I am grateful to Terri for her thoughtful introduction which I’d like to share with you…

Marie from Create Space. 

Marie shares her family’s story of bullying, and the devastating effects it has on the mental health of those affected. Although the subject matter has the potential to be weighty and heartbreaking, Marie balances this by sharing how one can rise above the effects of bullying and make a difference in the world.

So, when you face your next challenge, what will you choose?
Will you choose to…
1. remain devastated, weighed down and heartbroken, or will you turn the challenge you face on its head, inverted and
2. rise above your challenge to make a difference in the world!

The choice is yours!

Thank you to all who continue to follow, read and share their feelings, thoughts and comments on my bullying posts.  I would not have reached this point without you!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

Joyful poppycock…

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Paula’s Light prompts of Brazil, Nut & petunia for some weird reason made me think of a bit of random fun and joy.  Where that idea came from I don’t know but I’m learning to trust and follow my gut feeling… so read on if you’re in the market today for some joyful poppycock and in case you’ve never come across some poppycock before and need a little confirmation of what it is, here’s a few synonyms… to leave you in little doubt!

Synonymsapplesauce [slang], balderdashbaloney (also boloney), beansbilgeblah (also blah-blah), blarneyblatherblatherskiteblitherboshbull [slang], bunkbunkum (orbuncombe), claptrapcodswallop [British], crapola [slang], crockdriveldroolfiddlefiddle-faddlefiddlesticksflannel [British], flapdoodlefolderol (also falderal), follyfoolishnessfudgegarbageguffhogwashhokeypokeyhokumhoodoohooeyhorsefeathers [slang], humbughumbuggeryjazzmalarkey (also malarky), moonshinemucknerts [slang], nutspifflenonsensepunkrotrubbishsenselessnesssillinessslushstupiditytaradiddle (or tarradiddle), tommyrottoshtrashtrumperytwaddle

 

Sometimes you can’t

find the joy,

in Ireland or in Brazil

nuts, but it makes you think,

Where’s the Joy gone?

And how can you reclaim it?

 

Sleep on it,

The wise man said

And ask The Universe,

that’s the boy

to ask for joy

And let it manifest.

 

So nap I did, and what a trip

with little provocation,

and no apparent

rhyme or reason…

 

A Purple Pimpernel appeared

In a dream

from Instagram’s

artyplantsman https://www.instagram.com/p/BzLw-S-AJQe/?igshid=jjqt76jgsz3k

(You won’t be dissapointed if you take a look)

the petunia knew

the purple hue

was the cue to it’s joy-cation!

 

What a random load of poppycock!

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/74951/posts/2327863044

With fun & joy,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

Where are you?

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I enjoyed some relaxing leisure time with colleagues and students on our yearly outing recently.   Our trip included time at The Irish National Stud & Japanese Garden.  This display of flags represents all the countries that have completed The Irish National Stud Breeding Course.  Can you spot your flag here?  If you can or if you can’t, please say hello and tell me where you are on the globe?  Better still tell me something interesting about where you live?My geography is improving daily thanks to the little map on WP Stats!

Learn more here…https://irishnationalstud.ie/attraction/japanese-gardens/

Le gra,

Mindfully Marie,

Ireland.

 

Life – more grass than flowers, on Monday’s Memory Lane.

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Welcome to Monday’s Memory Lane where I share a post from before we came to know each other.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed?  Does life feel too busy?  Have we become addicted to being busy?  How do we shift our focus to a more positive one?  I hope you will read on…Life – More grass than flowers? Shift your focus!

Le gra,

Mindfully Marie xx

An Irish wave… topped off with a hug!

An irish Wave
Beautiful County Waterford coastline!

 

You can’t beat the sight or sound of a wave, or many waves to wash over you and sooth your spirit.   A friendly wave from across the street or from a friend as they drive past also lifts my spirit.  Top it off with a hug and you’re onto a winner.

Do waves and hugs improve your day?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie.

Inspired by Calmkate’s Friday Fun – Waves @ aroused blog

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/96548416/posts/8403

 

Bullying & Beyond… Mindful Heart!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

In my previous post…Bullying & Beyond…23.Who cares?
I shared some of my guesses as to why victims of bullying hide how much they care.

Mich at Michnavs joined the conversation and her insightful comment got me thinking, so I’m breaking with my tradition of waiting to post at the weekend.

This is what Mich said… “Very well said Marie. I am fortunate to have been a teacher and a mother as well..having said that, I got to witness different behaviors and coping mechanisms of kids from different ages…and it’s not easy to spot a problematic or bullied kid…because sometimes they are really good at keeping it cool…but nevertheless I have kept a very mindful heart..”

This was my reply to Mich..

Thank you Mich, I appreciate your encouraging feedback. Thank you also for sharing your thoughts and experience. Bullies are very cunning, manipulative and powerful in their control over their victims, so you are correct in saying it’s not easy to spot a bullied child. Victims have many reasons, (as we’ve seen in my previous post), to become masters of disguise, making it very difficult for teachers of large classes and with ever increasing workloads, to detect a child who is struggling with bullying.

I really like your term a “mindful heart,” it is a good marriage of heart & mind and I envisage it being very Rogerian, (Carl Rogers), encompasing UPR (unconditional positive regard), empathy (being able to step into the victim’s shoes) and congruence (being your true, genuine & real self), all positive, powerful and necessary attributes for teachers, and the core conditions, enabling teachers create effective and theraputic relationships in their classrooms.

These core conditions are the foundation of every successful relationship be it in school, at home or in society.

https://trueselfcounseling.com/2016/02/20/3-core-conditions-for-therapeutic-change/

As a parent, teacher or victim of bullying, what do you think?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Feeling confident is… on Monday’s Memory Lane

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Welcome to Monday’s memory Lane where I share a post from before we came to know each other.

What does feeling confident mean to you?… Feeling Confident is…

I wish you a day filled with love, particularly self love, the kind that gives you the courage to be comfortable in your own skin!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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