Welcome to Monday’s Memory Lane where I introduce you to a post written before we came to know each other. I hope you like this post where I share some powerful ‘I’ statements…
In my previous post…Bullying & Beyond…2.Really Listen!…I wrote about the importance of Listening. When somebody, be it a child or an adult, is distressed as a result of bullying, just having somebody who is willing to listen to them can make a huge difference to how they feel. Your first reaction may be to rush in and immediately solve everything but instead be patient and listen.
Here are some simple tips I found helpful,
1.Acknowledge your child’s emotional state -say that you can see how upset, angry etc., they are.
2.Remove or resist any distractions.
3.Make sure you can clearly hear what your child is saying.
4. Focus your attention and concentrate.
5. Be patient, listen to the whole story.
6. Make encouraging, agreeable sounds to show you are paying attention…’mmm,’ ‘I see,’ ‘oh right’.
7. Avoid making judgements – take time to consider before offering solutions.
8. Ask questions to clarify.
9. Keep an open mind.
10. Summarise or sum up what you heard, ‘so the main problem was’ or ‘if I understand properly you feel…’to let them know you understand exactly.
Remember to pay attention to their tone of voice and observe their body language, which can give you insights or hidden messages which they may not be able to voice.
If you agree on any particular course of action or efforts to address the issue, be sure and follow through. Listening needs to be followed up with evidence of action, even if it’s only arranging follow-up conversations. If you fail to follow-through, your child may get the impression that what they have confided just goes in one ear and out the other.
For any victim of bullying, building and maintaining trust is so important and this can’t happen unless you stick to your word.
I hope you find this helpful. Please feel free to share any experience you have had which would have benefitted from active and effective listening.
Alternatively please share some effective approaches you have used. I would love to learn what worked for you.
Mindfully Marie xx
We all know how important it is to have balance in our lives yet we rarely remain completely in the middle. I believe that we need to have lived through highs and lows to know where our centre is. Even in the most difficult of times, if we remain open and receptive then new and […]
Sam Allen Creative Coach @ Peacock Poetry shared this wonderful post and I felt as if she had been watching over us during our bullying experience and written the words specifically for us. I definitely agree that…“With hindsight you’ll be glad” and so does our son…Bullying…”I am grateful for it all”…
I hope this speak to you too!
Thank you so much Sam for allowing me share your insightful poem!
Mindfully Marie xx
Welcome on board! And thank you…
Actually, I’d like to take a minute or two to thank everybody!
I won’t start naming Countries or individual names because you know I mean you, and all because you stopped in to visit and share such kind and encouraging words this past week, since Andy joined our family.
The thing is you will never know how much of a difference your words have made to both myself and Emma!
And of course to Andy…as you can see he’s under so much pressure!
Emma has just started an Instagram account and she would love you to visit her and Andy @reallyhandyandy where she will document and share their journey towards improved mental health and where she hopes to fulfill her dream and goal of paving the way towards the availability of Psychiatric Service Dogs in Ireland.
This post explains in more detail… Bullying & Beyond… 10.Painting the Pain, part two.
Do you have a dog or other amazing pet? What difference does your pet make to your life? Have you heard of Psychiatric Service Dogs?
With heartfelt wishes,
Mindfully Marie xx