Last night I caught myself…not in the nick of time, but certainly in time to reduced my time in the ‘Sin Bin!’ You might wonder whether I am a rugby player but I can confirm that is certainly not the case!
When I say ‘Sin Bin‘ I am referring to being caught up in an upsetting incident or any emotional state where suffering is happening.
Here’s an outline…Last night I made an assumption that ‘somebody’ was going to do something for me to support me. I expected them to be there for me.
So I was shocked when I didn’t get the support I expected. I got a ‘No’. And oh boy, my child-self jumped at the chance to act up! I went silent and I sulked. I gave out a little too. I opted for an early night in bed; to run away from the problem…but as I was preparing for bed thankfully I realised,…I became aware…that I had made an assumption of support. I hadn’t asked in plain English for what I needed. The fractured communication meant that ‘someone’ was not fully aware of what I needed. As a result they had made alternative plans. I realised, that just as I had a right to ask and expect…they had an equal right to say ‘No’ and expect a mature acceptance.
Thankfully by realising; by becoming aware, I got myself out of the ‘Sin Bin‘ after a short period of time. I saved myself a lot of emotional upset and physical pain. I remember back to a previous post where it took a long time suffering before logic returned. If you wish, read about that learning journey here Wise or otherwise?
I am so grateful that I have grown and learned from that experience. I am grateful to constantly be developing my awareness. I am grateful to be reminded of the importance of clear communication.
Realising that although I am there a lot for ‘someone,’ doesn’t mean they have to be there for me and if I only give of myself expecting a return then that’s not true, unselfish giving. That is conditional giving…giving on condition of a return!
I hope you found my reflection helpful. I would love to hear your comments or any experience where you grew in awareness.