Beware the celtic tiger,
Who roamed the Emerald Isle,
Lifting peoples fortunes, as it
walked around, in style!
An actress, this imposter,
Who stole the cinema screen,
And lifted peoples’ spirits
til it as suddenly, disappeared!
Bereft, the Irish bankers
Pulled out all the stops
Without a thought of honesty
They shut down all our little shops.
Peoples spirits, that once lifted,
by this banker-tiger coalition
Now sleep in doorways,
Mourning, dreams denied fruition
And alas, the housing crisis
Now roams the Emerald Isle,
While 10,300 innocent families
Suffer all the while…
Corrupt politicians & bankers
Laugh, as they fill you with a pile
Of broken hopeless promises
whilst they wine & dine in style!
(“… there has been a rapid increase in the number of families becoming homeless, and in April 2019, there were 1,729 families accessing emergency accommodation. This includes 3,794 children.)
You can’t beat the sight or sound of a wave, or many waves to wash over you and sooth your spirit. A friendly wave from across the street or from a friend as they drive past also lifts my spirit. Top it off with a hug and you’re onto a winner.
Do waves and hugs improve your day?
Inspired by Calmkate’s Friday Fun – Waves @ aroused blog
Mich at Michnavs joined the conversation and her insightful comment got me thinking, so I’m breaking with my tradition of waiting to post at the weekend.
This is what Mich said… “Very well said Marie. I am fortunate to have been a teacher and a mother as well..having said that, I got to witness different behaviors and coping mechanisms of kids from different ages…and it’s not easy to spot a problematic or bullied kid…because sometimes they are really good at keeping it cool…but nevertheless I have kept a very mindful heart..”
This was my reply to Mich..
Thank you Mich, I appreciate your encouraging feedback. Thank you also for sharing your thoughts and experience. Bullies are very cunning, manipulative and powerful in their control over their victims, so you are correct in saying it’s not easy to spot a bullied child. Victims have many reasons, (as we’ve seen in my previous post), to become masters of disguise, making it very difficult for teachers of large classes and with ever increasing workloads, to detect a child who is struggling with bullying.
I really like your term a “mindful heart,” it is a good marriage of heart & mind and I envisage it being very Rogerian, (Carl Rogers), encompasing UPR (unconditional positive regard), empathy (being able to step into the victim’s shoes) and congruence (being your true, genuine & real self), all positive, powerful and necessary attributes for teachers, and the core conditions, enabling teachers create effective and theraputic relationships in their classrooms.
These core conditions are the foundation of every successful relationship be it in school, at home or in society.
When you are the victim of bullying, you want people to care about you. You want them to understand how you feel but you behave in the exact opposite way. You pretend you don’t care to protect yourself. You put up a front, isolate yourself and sink further into despair. You believe teachers don’t care and you believe parents don’t care.
What gets in the way of caring? As a mother who has witnessed the impact of bullying on children, here are my guesses why children change their behaviour…
1. Fear that teachers/parents will utter one more disparaging remark about them in front of the other students/siblings.
2. Feeling stupid because they don’t want to be feeling like this but they can’t help it.
3. Feeling frustrated because they feel silenced by bullying.
3. Shame because no matter how much effort they’ve put in, they can’t break the cycle of bullying by themselves.
5. Worry that their resilience is at breaking point and being terrified of what will happen to them if they can’t cope.
6. Feeling worthless because they can see that other students/siblings around them are getting better marks or making progress.
7. Guilt that they are upsetting their teachers/parents and feeling that they are a burden.
Dear Teacher/Parent, please care! Please look beyond the puzzling behaviour that you, as a teacher or as a parent are seeing and realise that it is an ingenious front. Please look at the pain this child is in and see what “I don’t care that you don’t care” looks like. Please empower yourself to care by seeking advice, which will help you realise what really matters here, their mental health.
Have you/your child had similar feelings because of bullying?
Growing sunflowers from seed or running the spatuala around the inside of her great-grandmother’s baking bowl as she removes the remnants of banana bread or coffee cake, just two surefire ways, to raise her spirit from the clutches of anxiety! You too can find the sun within your clouds!