Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
I have been writing on the topic of bullying since late last year and I greatly appreciate all the support, encouragement and insightful feedback and comments which I have received to my Bullying & Beyond posts!
In order to access the most up to date information available on bullying and gain some insights and understanding of the Government’s education policy regarding the prevention of bullying, I decided to join a blended learning programme being offered by NABC; the National Anti Bullying Association of Ireland, entitled Bullying Prevention & Intervention Online Course for Teachers. It is a ten week online programme which also includes two face to face sessions in DCU, Dublin City University, St Patrick’s, Drumcondra, in Dublin.
And so, I would like to invite you to share your thoughts with me and in doing so, help me inform my answer to the first question we have been posed…
“What do you think are the greatest challenges teachers face when dealing with bullying behaviours?”
I look forward to your thought provoking responses!
The results of Ireland’s Leaving Certificate State Exam were released on the 13th of August.
This exam is the culmination of five years of study and it holds the key to the future of many students.
For months before the exams, which are held each year in June, two things happen.
1. Some students don’t cast the upcoming exams a thought.
2. Some students stress themselves to the point of mental and physical distress over sitting these exams.
For weeks before the results are released in August, two things happen.
1. Some students don’t cast the upcoming results a thought.
2. Some students stress themselves out worrying about the outcome or points they will achieve.
And that is the story of life.
The students at 1. above, takes things in their stride, they do not struggle with their emotions or become anxious.
The students at 2. above, are predisposed to an anxious nature. They struggle to handle their emotions and cope with stress.
And that is the human story or condition. We are all different, in how we see the world and how we cope in the world.
The Leaving Certificate acknowledges the high achievers and rightly so! It tabulates the results and rewards students accordingly. It is a grading system. It however, fails to grade students on how they function and cope emotionally or psychologically.
So please consider a few important things.
1. Look past the A4 sheet of Academic Outcomes and see that each student, teenager, boy, girl, non-gender, behind the A4 grading system is individual, unique, different and consider how they truly feel. They may not be the highest achiever in maths or biology but they might be the highest achiever in resilience or mental health management.
2. Don’t compare them to others. It doesn’t matter what their friends or peers got. Don’t expect them to get the same results. Do expect them to react or cope in very different ways and be there for them, if their world falls apart. Be calm, be capable and let them see that by supporting each other this will all work out!
3. If you are a teacher or parent and your student, son or daughter haven’t reached the exam stage yet, then make the most of it! Tell them, right the way through school, how unique and different they are. Watch out for and acknowledge their high achievements, whether it is academic or simply turning in for school. Remind them that they have numerous talents, some of which will be uncovered academically and many, many more which will only surface when they study at the college of life!
Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
Inverted means to turn (something) upside down
Or to change the position, order, or relationship of things so that they are the opposite of what they had been.
When you live with something challenging like bullying for long enough and see the destructive effect it has on you and your family, you need to realise that you have two choices, namely
1. stay trapped within the challenge, trying to escape, or
2. find the gift within the challenge and grow it!
When all else failed us as parents, and we could find no solution to the destructive effects bullying had on our children, we stopped trying to find the solutions we wanted to find.
We didn’t admit defeat but we accepted that this was where we were, nothing more, nothing less. We took our focus off all that had gone wrong. We shifted our lens to focus on building our resilience. We stepped back, paused and regrouped. Then we hit back with the most powerful weapon of all… love.
We opened ourselves up, to just love. We didn’t hold out expectations. We didn’t compare. We didn’t complain that life was unfair. We refocused instead on every positive we could find. We spoke from a place of positivity and within a short space of time we began to notice change!
And now, a mere 12 months later, our son has completed his first year in college and has spent his summer touring a number of European countries. Our daughter is pushing forward with her campaign to have Psychiatric Service Dogs recognised in Ireland and is in the process of training Ireland’s first every Psychiatric Service Dog, Doris. I’ve experienced, for myself, how cathartic (healing) writing and sharing is, especially when it is done within a safe and creative space, surrounded by a supportive community who identify with my posts and offer positive and affirming feedback. Because of this support I’ve written over thirty posts on the topic of bullying.
However, living with fibromyalgia/CFS means I have to constantly prioritise my time and energy. I don’t commit time to taking part in awards but I am always pleased to be nominated for an award and I am grateful to Terri for her thoughtful introduction which I’d like to share with you…
“Marie from Create Space.
Marie shares her family’s story of bullying, and the devastating effects it has on the mental health of those affected. Although the subject matter has the potential to be weighty and heartbreaking, Marie balances this by sharing how one can rise above the effects of bullying and make a difference in the world.”
So, when you face your next challenge, what will you choose?
Will you choose to…
1. remain devastated, weighed down and heartbroken, or will you turn the challenge you face on its head, inverted and
2. rise above your challenge to make a difference in the world!
The choice is yours!
Thank you to all who continue to follow, read and share their feelings, thoughts and comments on my bullying posts. I would not have reached this point without you!
Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
It is now five months since I shared my Bullying & Beyond post, Painting the Pain, part one. It is not an easy read and comes with a trigger warning. You can access it here… Bullying & Beyond… 10.Painting the Pain, part one.
Those past five months have been very challenging for our daughter and for us as parents, as she tries bravely to cope with her anxiety. She refuses to give in and her resilience is remarkable. As well as accessing professional health support, she has also started a campaign, to try and set up a Psychiatric Assistance Dog charity in Ireland. Sadly in Ireland while there are guide dogs for the blind and Assistance dogs for autism, Psychiatric Assistance Dogs do not exist.
To understand the whole area of Psychiatric Assistance Dogs, Emma has been busy educating herself via books, blogs, Social Media and YouTube. A year ago, she began her campaign, contacting political representatives and support organisations.
Emma’s campaign is driven by her goal to have legislation enabled in Ireland to give Psychiatric Assistance Dogs equal status to that available to users of guide dogs for the blind and Assistance dogs for autism. Having the company of a Psychiatric Assistance Dog to pre-empt the onset of panic attacks will enhance Emma’s life, allowing her to leave home for the first time in months feeling comfortable and safe as she goes about her daily life.
Emma has purchased a Golden Retriever puppy, which she has named Doris.
Doris, just newly arrived…
It is hoped that in time and with the correct training Doris will be the first recognised Psychiatric Assistance Dog in Ireland. Emma dreams of offering this service of trained Psychiatric Assistance Dogs to others.
To see this goal realised, Emma has also worked unceasingly to set up her website www.candocanineire.com and you can read more of her mission and goals here.
Emma has been in regular contact with the office of the Minister of State for Disability Issues, Mr. Finian McGrath and she has created a petition, which she hopes will receive lots of support and help her have Ireland enact and recognise equal status for Psychiatric Assistance Dogs. I would be forever grateful if you would make Emma and Doris’ day by signing their petition and finding one other person to do likewise.
I hope I’ve attached the petition link correctly, for convenience, just as you’ll find it on Emma and Doris’ Instagram account…
Doris and Emma together making the best of their day
Emma and Doris have also started an Instagram account @dorismakesmyday where they would love you to keep them company as they both document and share their journey towards an Ireland that recognises Psychiatric Assistance Dogs and offers people like Emma who live with a mental health condition access to the love and support of a Psychiatric Assistance Dog.
And we can’t finish without recalling this trailblazer… Andy, Emma’s first dog. Although it broke Emma’s heart (and ours) to let him go to a playfilled future, it had to be done.
A shoutout to Andy…who still holds a special place in our hearts.
Do you struggle with mental health issues? Do you have panic attacks? What do you know about Psychiatric Service Dogs? Do you know anybody who would benefit from reading this post, if so, please feel free to share.
Paula’s Light prompts of Brazil, Nut & petunia for some weird reason made me think of a bit of random fun and joy. Where that idea came from I don’t know but I’m learning to trust and follow my gut feeling… so read on if you’re in the market today for some joyful poppycock and in case you’ve never come across some poppycock before and need a little confirmation of what it is, here’s a few synonyms… to leave you in little doubt!
I enjoyed some relaxing leisure time with colleagues and students on our yearly outing recently. Our trip included time at The Irish National Stud & Japanese Garden. This display of flags represents all the countries that have completed The Irish National Stud Breeding Course. Can you spot your flag here? If you can or if you can’t, please say hello and tell me where you are on the globe? Better still tell me something interesting about where you live?My geography is improving daily thanks to the little map on WP Stats!
Highest achievers?
The results of Ireland’s Leaving Certificate State Exam were released on the 13th of August.
This exam is the culmination of five years of study and it holds the key to the future of many students.
For months before the exams, which are held each year in June, two things happen.
1. Some students don’t cast the upcoming exams a thought.
2. Some students stress themselves to the point of mental and physical distress over sitting these exams.
For weeks before the results are released in August, two things happen.
1. Some students don’t cast the upcoming results a thought.
2. Some students stress themselves out worrying about the outcome or points they will achieve.
And that is the story of life.
The students at 1. above, takes things in their stride, they do not struggle with their emotions or become anxious.
The students at 2. above, are predisposed to an anxious nature. They struggle to handle their emotions and cope with stress.
And that is the human story or condition. We are all different, in how we see the world and how we cope in the world.
The Leaving Certificate acknowledges the high achievers and rightly so! It tabulates the results and rewards students accordingly. It is a grading system. It however, fails to grade students on how they function and cope emotionally or psychologically.
So please consider a few important things.
1. Look past the A4 sheet of Academic Outcomes and see that each student, teenager, boy, girl, non-gender, behind the A4 grading system is individual, unique, different and consider how they truly feel. They may not be the highest achiever in maths or biology but they might be the highest achiever in resilience or mental health management.
2. Don’t compare them to others. It doesn’t matter what their friends or peers got. Don’t expect them to get the same results. Do expect them to react or cope in very different ways and be there for them, if their world falls apart. Be calm, be capable and let them see that by supporting each other this will all work out!
3. If you are a teacher or parent and your student, son or daughter haven’t reached the exam stage yet, then make the most of it! Tell them, right the way through school, how unique and different they are. Watch out for and acknowledge their high achievements, whether it is academic or simply turning in for school. Remind them that they have numerous talents, some of which will be uncovered academically and many, many more which will only surface when they study at the college of life!
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx