Quote No.11 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
This quote is particularly relevant now more than ever. Don’t be afraid to “Honour and remember those you love in your way.”
We are a country with a long-standing tradition of showing our respects in remembering our deceased relatives, neighbours and friends. However, Covid19 restrictions have caused funeral traditions and services here in Ireland to change.
Now only a limited number of family members can attend a funeral wake and mass now. That could limit a funeral size to ten or twenty family members only.
Relations, friends and neighbours have started forming a socially distanced line along the road side leading to the church or graveyard instead. These changes are difficult for all concerned. Respect how others cope with these changes. Allow other to honour and remember those they love in their way.
Quote No.15 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
Make today the most amazing Sunday by putting these four lines into practice…
Then do it again tomorrow!
Let me know how you get on, share the difficulties you encounter and share the highlights, encourage others by letting us know how remaining compassionate changed your day!
Quote No.39 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
The behaviour I find difficult is feeling ignored. Thankfully with each day that passes I am learning that I don’t need to feel ignored, I no longer want that feeling and I’m getting better at letting that feeling go.
I’ve also learned that when you learn how to find yourself you no longer feel isolated or lonely any more. You realise you have a unique voice and you feel empowered to use it.
Anne reminds us that “Nobody likes to be… talked about behind their backs.” Try today to catch yourself in the act of gossip. It is not a nice personality trait to have and observing this habit in yourself, is the first step to changing it. “Keep kindness to yourself and others high on your priority list.”
Here Mich of michnavs shines a light on gossip culture in the Philippines. A worthwhile read…
Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
In my previous post I wrote about the importance of self-care, you might like to read it 4.Self-care x 10! When you or your children are struggling to cope with bullying it is very important to continue to practice self-care during and after the event. Being bullied can cause strong feelings of loneliness which come from the isolation of bullying. Bullying thrives on isolation and fear. Lack of access to information, lack of support and worse still lack of knowing which way to turn or who to ask for help all serve to enhance the isolation and loneliness you feel!
The loneliness was something I found hardest to cope with as I struggled to find answers and effective support.
But there is help out there. Don’t allow yourself to be rendered voiceless.
I want YOU to know that I am here for YOU and YOU are not alone…reach out, share your concerns and talk about the bullying you or your child are experiencing.
What has been your experience of the loneliness of bullying? How would you describe the loneliness of bullying? How did you overcome it?
Yes, just like the photo, lives have been turned sideways, and upside down. But, we are resilient and we can adjust!
If you are lucky enough to be able to visit a beach, share your photo or link in the comments below. If you’re in lockdown and can’t visit a beach, don’t be afraid to dream up one!
Find a photo of a recent trip to the beach on your phone or better still dust of an old photo album and find one there. Memories are powerful! Relive those memories, smell the sea, hear the sounds all around you. Share what you recall, with others in the comments below or with those present around you.
Life is sometimes choppy, sometimes calm. Find the calm today and encourage others to find the calm too!
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
Anne can be contacted at info.devinepublishing@gmail.com
If you are interested in obtaining a copy of Encourage Yourself Encourage Others, enquiries can be made directly to Anne at info.devinepublishing@gmail.com or by phone at 085 7167873
Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
The following “Tips for a better internet together” offers some very practical advice which I’d encourage parents and guardians to discuss with their children. These simple tips could make a big difference to someone who is experiencing bullying.
“1. Reach out to someone you know is being bullied. A simple message of support, a like, or a smile can be enough to give hope to someone who feels alone.
2. Include someone you see being isolated. Invite them to sit with you at lunch, include them in a chat, share jokes with them.
3. Make a clear statement that you think bullying is unacceptable and not just another part of growing up. Sharing or liking anti-bullying messages on social networks is a simple way of doing this. You might even go further and create your own.
4. Say ‘No’ or ‘Stop’ when you see someone behaving unfairly. Standing up takes real courage but not doing it is the same as giving your permission for someone to be bullied.
5. Get help from an adult if you think that standing up to a bully might put you at risk of being hurt or becoming the next target. You might not always be able to fix things without putting yourself at risk, but you can always do the right thing – and that means getting help. In fact telling a parent or teacher is usually the moment when the situation stops getting worse and starts being dealt with.
6. Report it. All good schools and clubs have ways for you to report bullying incidents. Find out what they are and use them. You can also click the report abuse button on websites like Facebook and Twitter. They all have to take reports seriously and remember they won’t reveal the identity of the person making the report.
7. Don’t bully back no matter how angry you feel. You should never accept bullying but don’t cross the line and bully the bully. It’s ok to point out that the bullying should stop but it’s not ok to send abusive messages in retaliation. It makes it more difficult to get help from your school. They might even end up punishing you too.”
Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
The turning point came, the day I learned to accept our son John’s inability to attend school or to live a functioning life. His life had become dysfunctional because of school bullying. I shared some of the backstory in Bullying & Beyond… Painting the pain, part three.
Learning to accept his dysfunction as a result of bullying, was a slow process but it was the catalyst for change which allowed him to break free of his dysfunction and move forward with his life. I shared that in Bullying & Beyond… “Acceptance”, Love & Time.
Our daughter Emma also suffered at the hands of bullies and sadly we are, to this day, still dealing with the aftermath.
It has been a struggle to stay strong and be resilient. It was often one step forward and two steps back.
But yesterday I remembered the power of acceptance and I let go resistance. I see yesterday as two steps forward and one step back and that is progress, it is a sign of change to come…
Let me try to explain…
We attempted to drive to Newbridge to visit Newbridge Silverware’s Doris Day exhibition. You might like to learn about this wonderful event here… https://visitnewbridgesilverware.com/doris-day
We got half way there when Emma could no longer contain her anxiety.
Yesterday was our second attempt, the first attempt we achieved about a third of the journey so yesterday there was progress.
But the biggest progress for me was remembering my ‘acceptance‘ of John’s dysfunction, thanks to the reminder of my Psychologist to let go ‘resistance,’
I was able to make peace with this event and love Emma for herself. She did her best. We did our best. We sat in our car, in a service station, having a coffee while Emma took a short walk and some air. We made peace with the situation. We were truly grateful and expressed our gratitude for that time, that moment, having coffee, having family time, living life to the best we can.
We turned for home with no regrets or upset or shattered expectations but with happy hearts and later last night, Emma announced that she wants to try again next Saturday!
This exhibition means a lot to Emma. She adores Doris Day and that entire era. She is training her dog, named ‘Doris’ after Doris Day, to be the first recognised Psychiatric Assistance Dog in Ireland. She is pushing politicians to recognise this existing EU law, in Ireland. It is a slow process. I would love you to give her some support as she shares her IG account at dorismakesmyday.
If you are relatively new here, thank you for reading. Thank you to my regular readers for your comforting presence as we journey and learn life lessons together. Your company makes all the difference.
No matter where you are in the world, remember as you walk forward into 2020 you have your friend at your side and I’m here for you waiting in the shadow…
The Power is yours… Quote No. 39 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”
Quote No.39 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
The behaviour I find difficult is feeling ignored. Thankfully with each day that passes I am learning that I don’t need to feel ignored, I no longer want that feeling and I’m getting better at letting that feeling go.
I’ve also learned that when you learn how to find yourself you no longer feel isolated or lonely any more. You realise you have a unique voice and you feel empowered to use it.
Anne reminds us that “Nobody likes to be… talked about behind their backs.” Try today to catch yourself in the act of gossip. It is not a nice personality trait to have and observing this habit in yourself, is the first step to changing it. “Keep kindness to yourself and others high on your priority list.”
Here Mich of michnavs shines a light on gossip culture in the Philippines. A worthwhile read…
https://michnavs.wordpress.com/2020/05/04/surveillance/
What behaviour upsets you most?
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
(Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)