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The Power is yours… Quote No. 6 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No.6 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

 

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If you struggle with low confidence, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, inferiority feelings or imposter syndrome which has been described as a feeling of being fake or believing you only achieved success because you were in the right place at the right time.  You may also believe you are not as competent as other work colleagues, other mothers, other bloggers, or you may struggle to accept praise or to bask in the glory of your achievements.  If any of these sound familiar to you then affirmations can help you to deal with and manage these challenges.

Talking about these challenges can help normalise them and help us realise that it’s ok to be human and to admit our struggles.

I’ve doubted my ability as an adult educator and I was able to overcome these doubts by reminding myself that “I am a competent and capable adult educator.”

Encouragement is a powerful tool!  Encourage Yourself  Encougage Others is a powerful tool kit.

What do you struggle with?

What affirmation do you use or might you use from now on?
Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine. (If you would like your own copy of Anne’s book send your enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

 

The Power is yours… Quote No. 9 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No.9 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

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I often find it helpful to withhold any action in the heat of the moment.  Doing nothing creates space for reflection.

What have you been unsure about lately?  What “positive action” did you take or was “doing nothing” a “positive action” for you?

 
Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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(Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

The Power is yours… Quote No. 23 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No. 23 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

 

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I’m feeling very grateful to have had the opportunity yesterday to take part in an Adler Cafe with the Adlerian Society UK Institute for Individual Psychology (ASIIP).

The topic we discussed was that of Encouragement asking how and why people might be discouraged at the moment?

We spoke about the importance of not going inwards in ourselves but to keep outward looking, showing concern for others and also showing ourselves empathy.

We noted the need to care for ourselves first in order to be able to care for others.  Caring for others can have an uplifting effect on our own mental wellbeing.  A sense of belonging keeps us connected.

We also considered how we can nurture encouragement and help people flourish during the challenges of Covid19.

Some responses included,

Tapping into our strengths

Reinforcing the strengths we see in others

Giving people space

Keeping focused on our priorities

Focusing on what’s within our control

Talking in positive ways about fear

Acknowledging those fears and accepting them, helping to normalises them

Finding ways to defuse fear and lead back to encouragement

Volunteering where possible

And of course the important role of humour.

We also discussed the importance of taking responsibility, facing up to the possibility of our own mortality or that of close relatives by having the difficult conversations about death.  Putting a plan in place so other family members know our health care and/or funeral wishes.  This can save a lot of upset when somebody becomes critically ill.

How and why might you be discouraged at the moment?

How can you Encourage Yourself  Encourage Others?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

20200330_184754_Burst01
Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine. (If you would like your own copy of Anne’s book send your enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

 

The Power is yours… Quote No. 30 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No. 30 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

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Did you play “the blame game” today?

Did you learn anything?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

20200427_224949
(Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

The Power is yours… Quote No. 49 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No. 49 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

 

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We are all learning to accept the imposed boundaries of lockdown. Some of us are finding it easier than others.  Now might be a good time to consider if the boundaries we have in our own lives are helpful or if they could do with being revised.  It takes courage and maturity to “Accept that what others do is their business.”
Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

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(Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

The Power is yours… Quote No.54 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No.54 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

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Coping during this pandemic takes real courage, actually it takes twice as much courage!

Choose ways to be actively kind to yourself.” Make time for that walk or bath.

Be creative, when you can’t have a real cinema night, have a home, virtual cinema or “Watch Party” night.

You will be well placed to handle everything life  throws at you; family illness, separation, isolation, pain and loss coupled with the fear and uncertainty of this new unknown.

Be extra kind to yourself and others today!

What’s on your list today?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

20200330_184754_Burst01
Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine. (If you would like your own copy of Anne’s book send your enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

 

The Power is yours… Quote No.84 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

Quote No.84 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.

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” a stone, a shell or something else that has meaning for you” carried around with you can be so reassuring to ground your thoughts when you feel anxious.

Do you carry a courage item with you? If so, what item gives you courage?

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Did I mention my husband carries one or two courage items around with him!

 

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com

 

Bullying & Beyond…Loneliness

 

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

In my previous post I wrote about the importance of self-care, you might like to read it 4.Self-care x 10! When you or your children are struggling to cope with bullying it is very important to continue to practice self-care during and after the event.   Being bullied can cause strong feelings of loneliness which come from the isolation of bullying. Bullying thrives on isolation and fear. Lack of access to information, lack of support and worse still lack of knowing which way to turn or who to ask for help all serve to enhance the isolation and loneliness you feel!

The loneliness was something I found hardest to cope with as I struggled to find answers and effective support.

But there is help out there.  Don’t allow yourself to be rendered voiceless.

I want YOU to know that I am here for YOU and YOU are not alone…reach out, share your concerns and talk about the bullying you or your child are experiencing.

What has been your experience of the loneliness of bullying?  How would you describe the loneliness of bullying?  How did you overcome it?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…”I was only messing…”

 

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

When our son was being bullied and he told the bullies to ‘stop’ they wouldn’t stop.  When we sought help in school we were told “Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself.”  When he stood up for himself and physically fought back, it stopped some of the bullies.  Sometimes when one bully started a bout of verbal bullying others would join in and John would be out-numbered and unable to put an end to the unwanted taunting and teasing.

That sadly was the unpredictable and repeated reality for our son.

Some days school was what it was meant to be, a happy educational and social environment.  He came home to us full of chat, in great form and ready to engage with after school sports or other hobbies.

But other days the school torment returned…

Slowly we noticed him retreat into himself and take refuge in his room.  He started to delay getting ready for school and for his hobbies.  We couldn’t understand what was happening to him.  He couldn’t sleep and soon developed insomnia.  We took him to his GP.  Many rows centered around him always being late. He began to drop away from his hobbies and miss more time from school.  We felt all our efforts to communicate in a positive and respectful manner were met instead with fits of temper.  Now we know that he was unable to voice the painful abuse he was enduring, his behaviour was his only way of showing us his distress.

Bullies are cunning.  Part of their power lies in the unpredictability of their attack and in their ability to silence and keep their victim in fear.

His tormentors knew that over time, with sustained and unpredictable abuse they could break him.

“I was only messing”,

“I was only having a laugh”,

These are just two excuses that children offer when they are caught bullying another child and challenged for their behaviour.

As parents or teachers it is important to discuss with all children what bullying is and what bullying isn’t.  It is important to encourage children to talk about bullying, whether it is bullying they are experiencing, bullying they have witnessed or bullying they are perpetrating.

When boys are engaged in horseplay; which is a common way for adolescent boys to behave, the physicality is okay once all involved are willing participants.  But if one child is being targeted by another child or by a group of children and being verbally or physically mistreated then this behaviour is unwarranted and needs to be addressed.  Children buy into group behaviour and follow the lead of other more assertive children, often for fear of being a target themselves, if they don’t follow the bully’s lead.

As parents and teachers we can’t assume that all children understand when ‘messing,’ or ‘having a laugh,’ over-steps its boundary and is no longer just a bit of giddy fun.

Whether at home or in school, children need to be educated about bullying and made aware that when a child objects to any unwanted, continuous and upsetting behaviour, if it does not stop, then it is deliberate and willful bullying!  If bullying is left uncontested it can and will undermine the victim’s physical, psychological and emotional wellbeing.  If you would like to read about some of the consequences of bullying, we have shared our experiences in Bullying & Beyond… Painting the Pain, part one.

Have you ever discussed bullying with your child?  Have you ever watched your child retreat into themselves as a result of bullying?  Is “I was only messing” ever a good enough excuse?

Le gra,

Mindfully Marie xx

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