Quote No. 49 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
We are all learning to accept the imposed boundaries of lockdown. Some of us are finding it easier than others. Now might be a good time to consider if the boundaries we have in our own lives are helpful or if they could do with being revised. It takes courage and maturity to “Accept that what others do is their business.”
Quote No.52 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
What have you done during Lockdown that’s been new to you?
I’ve taken part in a Zoom poetry club and a Zoom Cafe Adler. They were fun and they gave me the opportunity for some new learning. I enjoyed the sense of community and it helped replace the social interaction I’ve been missing! I’ve also been busy sharing and enjoying these positive quotes and the lovely interactions they are creating for me!
Please share something you’ve never done before, something new and different that you’ve been doing!
Mindfully Marie xx
(Enquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org)
To all who struggle with this pandemic or any chronic illness, this is for you, just know you are never alone, you are in the best of company…
It crumbles like sand
Overcome by a wave
Stealing your inspiration
Or your power to investigate.
Physical tasks must be trimmed
Right down to the quick,
Mental tasks tease,
Like a shadows in the sun
Now you see me…
now I’m gone!
So quickly it fades,
From functioning… To falter,
What felt like a good day or good hour,
consumed and usurped,
Leaving you literally stranded in the midst of stuff!
It dehydrates your thoughts,
It punctures and deflates,
She has you caught
Laughs and knows she’s fine,
while she has you there,
Then leaves you short
Refusing to repay the debt.
So does it defeat you
Steal from you and
Rob you blind?
Or can you befriend it?
Mould and adjust it?
Even a little at a time?
Well, those are questions you pose
And repose, numerous times each day,
As you show up to a
Battle that could go either way!
And is there an answer
To this piece of arithmetic?
Is there is vacination
That can do the trick?
Well the answer is as fickle
As the ego, when it’s in full play
And it defies all logic
On any given day!
Sadly it’s more complex,
As it’s catching in your breath
And the answers
at best, are really hit and miss!
Some discovered and uncovered
Are a chumley mix of tricks
Pause… and take a moment, to simply catch your breath…
And with dire warning…
Never, ever, use the words…
“Rest,” my Da would say…
“Hold your horses, sweet Marie”
Now I recall his kindness
and cherish his request
I dismount & recoup
Heeding his bequest!
Then like a flame rekindling,
Though; not as quickly as it faded
With a streak of determination
You saddle up again…
A dawn of inspiration seeps in slowly, like the morning sun
And brings with it a power, to investigate anon and
With a steely determination
So worn and battle weary,
You acknowledge your, position or condition
And face the day quite cheery!
And with the wisdom of any moment, being yet again undone
You accept what you can
And leave the rest…
To all who struggle with this pandemic or any chronic illness, this is for you, just know you are not alone, we are in the best of company!
With a new goal in mind, I’ve had to reluctantly decide to refrain from writing new blog posts, for the immediate future. To keep my blog active I am instead going to re-run my existing posts.
I’ve had to come to this decision so I can dedicate time to my writing project.
I am in the process of compiling my Bullying & Beyond posts into a book. To give adequate time to this project I have to be proactive in managing my health (due to the challenges of living with CFS/Fibromyalgia, as anyone living with a chronic illness will understand).
I’ve really appreciated your constant company while I shared my Bullying & Beyond posts.
Your friendship, encouraging comments and shared experiences have played a huge role in helping me overcome the pain of supporting our children through school bullying and has enabled me to reclaim my voice and write about our experience. I am so grateful to all of you for this gift!
If you would like to share any information about supports available in your area or if you would like to research any bullying prevention and intervention resources that are relevant to where you live I would be delighted to hear from you and look forward to your participation.
I hope you will continue to keep me company and continue to share your thoughts with me. I will of course reply to any comments received!
The following “Tips for a better internet together” offers some very practical advice which I’d encourage parents and guardians to discuss with their children. These simple tips could make a big difference to someone who is experiencing bullying.
“1. Reach out to someone you know is being bullied. A simple message of support, a like, or a smile can be enough to give hope to someone who feels alone.
2. Include someone you see being isolated. Invite them to sit with you at lunch, include them in a chat, share jokes with them.
3. Make a clear statement that you think bullying is unacceptable and not just another part of growing up. Sharing or liking anti-bullying messages on social networks is a simple way of doing this. You might even go further and create your own.
4. Say ‘No’ or ‘Stop’ when you see someone behaving unfairly. Standing up takes real courage but not doing it is the same as giving your permission for someone to be bullied.
5. Get help from an adult if you think that standing up to a bully might put you at risk of being hurt or becoming the next target. You might not always be able to fix things without putting yourself at risk, but you can always do the right thing – and that means getting help. In fact telling a parent or teacher is usually the moment when the situation stops getting worse and starts being dealt with.
6. Report it. All good schools and clubs have ways for you to report bullying incidents. Find out what they are and use them. You can also click the report abuse button on websites like Facebook and Twitter. They all have to take reports seriously and remember they won’t reveal the identity of the person making the report.
7. Don’t bully back no matter how angry you feel. You should never accept bullying but don’t cross the line and bully the bully. It’s ok to point out that the bullying should stop but it’s not ok to send abusive messages in retaliation. It makes it more difficult to get help from your school. They might even end up punishing you too.”
The turning point came, the day I learned to accept our son John’s inability to attend school or to live a functioning life. His life had become dysfunctional because of school bullying. I shared some of the backstory in Bullying & Beyond… Painting the pain, part three.
Learning to accept his dysfunction as a result of bullying, was a slow process but it was the catalyst for change which allowed him to break free of his dysfunction and move forward with his life. I shared that in Bullying & Beyond… “Acceptance”, Love & Time.
Our daughter Emma also suffered at the hands of bullies and sadly we are, to this day, still dealing with the aftermath.
It has been a struggle to stay strong and be resilient. It was often one step forward and two steps back.
But yesterday I remembered the power of acceptance and I let go resistance. I see yesterday as two steps forward and one step back and that is progress, it is a sign of change to come…
We got half way there when Emma could no longer contain her anxiety.
Yesterday was our second attempt, the first attempt we achieved about a third of the journey so yesterday there was progress.
But the biggest progress for me was remembering my ‘acceptance‘ of John’s dysfunction, thanks to the reminder of my Psychologist to let go ‘resistance,’
I was able to make peace with this event and love Emma for herself. She did her best. We did our best. We sat in our car, in a service station, having a coffee while Emma took a short walk and some air. We made peace with the situation. We were truly grateful and expressed our gratitude for that time, that moment, having coffee, having family time, living life to the best we can.
We turned for home with no regrets or upset or shattered expectations but with happy hearts and later last night, Emma announced that she wants to try again next Saturday!
This exhibition means a lot to Emma. She adores Doris Day and that entire era. She is training her dog, named ‘Doris’ after Doris Day, to be the first recognised Psychiatric Assistance Dog in Ireland. She is pushing politicians to recognise this existing EU law, in Ireland. It is a slow process. I would love you to give her some support as she shares her IG account at dorismakesmyday.
If you are relatively new here, thank you for reading. Thank you to my regular readers for your comforting presence as we journey and learn life lessons together. Your company makes all the difference.
I have been writing on the topic of bullying since late last year and I greatly appreciate all the support, encouragement and insightful feedback and comments which I have received to my Bullying & Beyond posts!
In order to access the most up to date information available on bullying and gain some insights and understanding of the Government’s education policy regarding the prevention of bullying, I decided to join a blended learning programme being offered by NABC; the National Anti Bullying Association of Ireland, entitled Bullying Prevention & Intervention Online Course for Teachers. It is a ten week online programme which also includes two face to face sessions in DCU, Dublin City University, St Patrick’s, Drumcondra, in Dublin.
And so, I would like to invite you to share your thoughts with me and in doing so, help me inform my answer to the first question we have been posed…
“What do you think are the greatest challenges teachers face when dealing with bullying behaviours?”
I look forward to your thought provoking responses!