Quote No. 30 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
Did you play “the blame game” today?
Did you learn anything?
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
(Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)
Quote No.83 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
“What we do matters.
What we say matters.
How we say it really matters.”
How did you say it today? Do you feel proud of yourself and happy as a result? Or, could you have said it a little better?
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
Trigger alert…this post is upsetting.
Lives are destroyed by bullying.
Children’s mental, emotional and psychological health damaged not only in the short-term but often into the long-term.
Lives are lost, too often, to bullying. Children unable to cope with the torture inflicted on them by bullies sadly see no way out, other than to take their lives.
I might be writing this from Ireland and this story may refer to Yarraka Bayles, a boy on the other side of the world but the location is irrelevant… bullying is bullying and this is the reality for another child and another family. It is a horrific, upsetting reality.
This bullying is focused on dwarfism. But if it wasn’t about dwarfism it would be about anything else the bully decided they didn’t like about their victim such as their weight or even their accent. Take a few moments to educate yourself and then take a few moments to educate your children… because this is a reality that is totally avoidable and it is a reality no child or parents deserve!
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
In Ireland, the Department of Education & Science, (DES) gives clarification on what constitutes bullying using social media:
‘Placing a once-off offensive or hurtful public message, image or statement on a social network site or other public forum where that message, image or statement can be viewed and/or repeated by other people will be regarded as bullying behaviour’ (DES 2013: 9).
In contrast, one-off incidents of negative behaviour, such as isolated hurtful text messages and private mails, which cannot be viewed or repeated by other people, are not considered to be included under the definition of bullying.
The fact that the internet provides anonymity can have particular consequences
for cyber bullying. Being able to act and communicate anonymously online removes
some of the deterrents that would help prevent children from getting involved. The fear of negative consequences is lessened for the perpetrators and it increases the psychological distance between them and their actions. The perpetrators can therefore refuse to take responsibility for their actions. In most cases, cyber-bullies know their targets, but their targets don’t always know the identity of their cyber-bullies. This can lead to children and young people being suspicious of, and alienated from, all their peers.
The fact that the distinction between bystanders and active participants can be
less distinct in the context of online bullying also makes cyber bullying more difficult to
deal with than traditional offline bullying.
The bystander effect refers to incidents where an individual in need of help is not assisted by an onlooker because the onlooker assumes that someone else will intervene.
Responsibility for bullying often goes beyond the person who creates and posts harmful content online. Sharing, or commenting on content on social networking websites or joining, subscribing or following online sources of content
intended to humiliate or harm individuals can also be considered bullying behaviour.
I hope you found this post helpful and that you feel confident in defining what cyber-bullying is and what cyber-bullying is not.
Source #UP2US Anti-Bullying, Teachers’ Handbook, Junior Cycle, SPHE
I recommend you check out the “Let’s Fight it Together” video.
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
I have been writing on the topic of bullying since late last year and I greatly appreciate all the support, encouragement and insightful feedback and comments which I have received to my Bullying & Beyond posts!
In order to access the most up to date information available on bullying and gain some insights and understanding of the Government’s education policy regarding the prevention of bullying, I decided to join a blended learning programme being offered by NABC; the National Anti Bullying Association of Ireland, entitled Bullying Prevention & Intervention Online Course for Teachers. It is a ten week online programme which also includes two face to face sessions in DCU, Dublin City University, St Patrick’s, Drumcondra, in Dublin.
And so, I would like to invite you to share your thoughts with me and in doing so, help me inform my answer to the first question we have been posed…
“What do you think are the greatest challenges teachers face when dealing with bullying behaviours?”
I look forward to your thought provoking responses!
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie
I’m angry, and it’s not often I’m angry! I’m also amazed…amazed at how a word can evoke such angry emotion!
This word ‘Acquiesce,’ gives me such an uneasy feeling because for too long, despite our best efforts we were silenced in a system that was disjointed and had no cohesive plan in place.
Slowly, I knocked on every door. I struggled to be heard. I contacted every service. Finally, I discovered the flimsy support that was available. I wasn’t told this support existed. I uncovered it, step by painful step. I came to realise that every school in Ireland has access to a School Psychologist through NEPS.
Our school was one of those schools.
Here’s a small excerpt of what to expect… ”
What do you do if you think your child may need to be seen by a NEPS Psychologist?
- You need to begin by discussing your child’s needs with the class teacher and/or school principal. Not every child needs to meet the psychologist in person. Each school makes referrals to their NEPS psychologist who helps the school to plan the work”
You can find out more here…
I rang a contact number, I spoke to the School Psychologist. I told her our son wanted to achieve his Leaving Certificate. I told her our son was being denied this opportunity because of the impact of bullying on his health. I reminded her that every child is entitled to an education.
Soon I got a phone call from that Psychologist, a meeting had been arranged with the school to discuss our son’s education.
It did not solve the issue. The impact of bullying on a child’s well-being and mental health does not disappear overnight but this State funded and readily available intervention went some way towards helping me realise that I was not alone, that we were not alone and that there were support services available that we had not been informed of!
And now I refuse to ‘acquiesce.’ I won’t, under any circumstances, accept, agree or allow something to happen by staying silent or by not arguing. I won’t acquiesce until I do my bit, no matter how small that may be!
I want to ensure victims, bullies, passive bullies (those who stand by gutless, watching and let the victims suffer), teachers, principals, parents, the community, society, and every nationality have a conversation. I want them to see the damage school bullying causes. I want to paint a picture of the pain it inflicts – a picture that leave you in no doubt of the long term effects of school bullying. Please help me break the silence and as we do this, together, please 1.Take Heart!
Dee’s Word of the Day
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/80183056/posts/2151594850
Have you or your children been bullied or silenced? Have you stood by and watched a victim suffer at the hands of a bully? What would you do differently now?
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
‘NYCTINASTY’…that’s what it’s called when a flower closes in on itself at night to protect itself from a night-time chill or a nectar thief such as bats.
But when you watch your own child close in on themselves the ‘NYCTI’ vanishes from your mind and all that remains are the questions, those ‘NASTY’ nagging, unanswered questions!
You can see your child’s pain and of course being a parent, you can feel their pain but the worst pain is the helplessness you feel being unable to rightify their pain.
There are, you begin to realise, so many things outside your control but over time I’ve learnt that there is so much you CAN do…
You can regularly let your child know that you see that IT’S NOT EASY for them at the moment.
You can also voice, with confidence, even if you don’t feel confident, that you ARE THERE FOR THEM and that you have their back.
You can also be adult enough to realise that the temper tantrums and door slammings are their ONLY way of voicing what they are otherwise unable to verbalise.
Even when their words sting and hurt you to the core you can hold your tongue, which surprisingly is the strongest muscle in our body yet is possibly the weakest when we feel under attack!
The closing-in, the isolating self-protection you see in your child, unlike the flower’s nyctinasty, is not something that reverses itself overnight like the flower that reopen to the first rays of morning warmth.
Your child’s process of re-opening to the world, may take much longer… But be patient and ‘JUST LOVE’ your child and in time they will re-open to the world around them, and you will see how amazing it is when they BLOSSOM!
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
Create Space 
The Power is yours… Quote No. 39 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”
Quote No.39 from Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine.
The behaviour I find difficult is feeling ignored. Thankfully with each day that passes I am learning that I don’t need to feel ignored, I no longer want that feeling and I’m getting better at letting that feeling go.
I’ve also learned that when you learn how to find yourself you no longer feel isolated or lonely any more. You realise you have a unique voice and you feel empowered to use it.
Anne reminds us that “Nobody likes to be… talked about behind their backs.” Try today to catch yourself in the act of gossip. It is not a nice personality trait to have and observing this habit in yourself, is the first step to changing it. “Keep kindness to yourself and others high on your priority list.”
Here Mich of michnavs shines a light on gossip culture in the Philippines. A worthwhile read…
https://michnavs.wordpress.com/2020/05/04/surveillance/
What behaviour upsets you most?
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
(Enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)