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Confidence

Doris & Emma’s Journey…

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Doris will be an “extraspectacular” Psychiatric Assistance Dog

 

This is Doris!

and she’s in the kitchen

Together with Emma

They are cooking up a symphony

That will paint Ireland pinky red

Or better still Magenta

As they succeed in bringing

Psychiatric Assistance Dogs to Ireland!

Together they have lobbied politicians and the

Minister for Disability Issues

Finian McGrath

To compile a proposal to Government

Granting public access rights

To Psychiatric Assistance Dogs

So that people, like Emma, who live

With mental health conditions

Can bring a trained Psychiatric Assistant Dog

With them to public places

Just as users of Guide Dogs for the blind

Or Autism Support Dogs have benefitted

From their canine companions

And Doris will be an “extraspectacular” Psychiatric Assistance Dog

Being the first of her kind in Ireland!

https://lightmotifs.wordpress.com/2019/08/12/three-things-challenge-pl149/

And…

Did you know that…

Magenta Ain’t A Colour

By Liz Elliott

Magenta is an “extraspectral” color.

Sir Isaac Newton noticed that magenta did not exist in the spectrum of colors from white light when he played with prisms.

But when he superimposed the red end of the spectrum on to the blue end, he saw the color magenta (this can be done with two prisms to make two spectral spreads, “rainbows”):

Magenta is the only color that does not exist as a single wavelength of light

For more interesting facts and optical illusions  check out…

http://www.biotele.com/magenta.html

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Bullying & Beyond…Inverted

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

Inverted means to turn (something) upside down
Or to change the position, order, or relationship of things so that they are the opposite of what they had been.

When you live with something challenging like bullying for long enough and see the destructive effect it has on you and your family, you need to realise that you have two choices, namely

1. stay trapped within the challenge, trying to escape, or
2. find the gift within the challenge and grow it!

When all else failed us as parents, and we could find no solution to the destructive effects bullying had on our children, we stopped trying to find the solutions we wanted to find.

We didn’t admit defeat but we accepted that this was where we were, nothing more, nothing less. We took our focus off all that had gone wrong. We shifted our lens to focus on building our resilience. We stepped back, paused and regrouped. Then we hit back with the most powerful weapon of all… love.

We opened ourselves up, to just love. We didn’t hold out expectations. We didn’t compare. We didn’t complain that life was unfair. We refocused instead on every positive we could find. We spoke from a place of positivity and within a short space of time we began to notice change!

And now, a mere 12 months later, our son has completed his first year in college and has spent his summer touring a number of European countries.  Our daughter is pushing forward with her campaign to have Psychiatric Service Dogs recognised in Ireland and is in the process of training Ireland’s first every Psychiatric Service Dog, Doris.  I’ve experienced, for myself, how cathartic (healing) writing and sharing is, especially when it is done within a safe and creative space, surrounded by a supportive community who identify with my posts and offer positive and affirming feedback.  Because of this support I’ve written over thirty posts on the topic of bullying.

I was recently nominated for an award by Terri at Reclaiming Hope.  https://reclaiminghope.blog/

However, living with fibromyalgia/CFS means I have to constantly prioritise my time and energy.  I don’t commit time to taking part in awards but I am always pleased to be nominated for an award and I am grateful to Terri for her thoughtful introduction which I’d like to share with you…

Marie from Create Space. 

Marie shares her family’s story of bullying, and the devastating effects it has on the mental health of those affected. Although the subject matter has the potential to be weighty and heartbreaking, Marie balances this by sharing how one can rise above the effects of bullying and make a difference in the world.

So, when you face your next challenge, what will you choose?
Will you choose to…
1. remain devastated, weighed down and heartbroken, or will you turn the challenge you face on its head, inverted and
2. rise above your challenge to make a difference in the world!

The choice is yours!

Thank you to all who continue to follow, read and share their feelings, thoughts and comments on my bullying posts.  I would not have reached this point without you!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

Joyful poppycock…

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Paula’s Light prompts of Brazil, Nut & petunia for some weird reason made me think of a bit of random fun and joy.  Where that idea came from I don’t know but I’m learning to trust and follow my gut feeling… so read on if you’re in the market today for some joyful poppycock and in case you’ve never come across some poppycock before and need a little confirmation of what it is, here’s a few synonyms… to leave you in little doubt!

Synonymsapplesauce [slang], balderdashbaloney (also boloney), beansbilgeblah (also blah-blah), blarneyblatherblatherskiteblitherboshbull [slang], bunkbunkum (orbuncombe), claptrapcodswallop [British], crapola [slang], crockdriveldroolfiddlefiddle-faddlefiddlesticksflannel [British], flapdoodlefolderol (also falderal), follyfoolishnessfudgegarbageguffhogwashhokeypokeyhokumhoodoohooeyhorsefeathers [slang], humbughumbuggeryjazzmalarkey (also malarky), moonshinemucknerts [slang], nutspifflenonsensepunkrotrubbishsenselessnesssillinessslushstupiditytaradiddle (or tarradiddle), tommyrottoshtrashtrumperytwaddle

 

Sometimes you can’t

find the joy,

in Ireland or in Brazil

nuts, but it makes you think,

Where’s the Joy gone?

And how can you reclaim it?

 

Sleep on it,

The wise man said

And ask The Universe,

that’s the boy

to ask for joy

And let it manifest.

 

So nap I did, and what a trip

with little provocation,

and no apparent

rhyme or reason…

 

A Purple Pimpernel appeared

In a dream

from Instagram’s

artyplantsman https://www.instagram.com/p/BzLw-S-AJQe/?igshid=jjqt76jgsz3k

(You won’t be dissapointed if you take a look)

the petunia knew

the purple hue

was the cue to it’s joy-cation!

 

What a random load of poppycock!

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/74951/posts/2327863044

With fun & joy,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…Beware the word ‘Rare’?

Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

“It is rare that children with good confidence and self esteem will be the victim of bullying”…so a recent article stated,

Rare…means seldom occurring.

I say beware the word ‘rare‘ which can lull you into a false sense of security…

Rare still happens to someone!

Have you ever stopped to consider how rare is rare?

Consider this… If your children were functioning to the peak of their individual ability at home, in school, and in community life until they were bullied, over an extended period of time, would that tip them into the ‘rare‘ category?

Or would reporting the bullying but being told ‘stand up for yourself,’ ‘build a wall and put it behind you’ or “he needs to be more resilient” be the tipping point into that “rare” category?

Having good confidence and self esteem might make you more effective at dealing with bullying, but if bullying is experienced on an on-going basis, and if it is left unsupported over a long period, it is the DURATION of bullying that, in my experience, overwhelms the victim’s confidence and self esteem and determines the impact of bullying, both short and long term.

The only solution to bullying, is rapid and easy access to support and that support must be informed, professional and cohesive. Anything less is unacceptable! You might find some information & support in this post…Bullying & Beyond…20 Knowledge is Power!

What do you think? Please join in this conversation and help others find the support they need, now, and not when it is too late.

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

Feeling confident is… on Monday’s Memory Lane

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Welcome to Monday’s memory Lane where I share a post from before we came to know each other.

What does feeling confident mean to you?… Feeling Confident is…

I wish you a day filled with love, particularly self love, the kind that gives you the courage to be comfortable in your own skin!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Just One Minute Monday…Limitless

You can see I’m tiny but it doesn’t stop me…

Do what you can within the boundaries of your limitations… and then do a tiny bit more!

Le grà,

Socks & Marie xx

Bullying & Beyond…Beware of Painful Pitfalls

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

With the benefit of experience and hindsight here are 6 warning signs to save you these painful pitfalls

 

1.  If you or your child are offered a solution from a teacher or principal saying, “sometimes you have to learn to stand up for yourself,” remember your child is not the only victim of bullying here, you are too. Don’t take it! It’s not a good enough solution!

2.  If your child is starting to miss days from school and this is totally out of character for them be sure to listen to your intuition. Reflect on it. Seek advice and act on it. You might like to read Bullying & Beyond…17. Stand up, speak up!

3.  If well meaning friends knock your intuition and fail to see your child’s mental health warning signs, please, don’t act on their advice to “drag them out of bed and kick them in the butt, straight into school.” You know your child better than any concerned friend. Your child is unable to voice their upset, they are showing you instead…see the signs!

4.  If a teacher tells you at a parent teacher meeting that “sure we all say things” please read between the lines.  They are not admitting the full truth of what was said and your child is too hurt to tell you. Please don’t hold back, immediately ask what they mean! Remind them that their words have the power to empower your child or the power to destroy your child’s last threads of confidence.

5.  If your child is physically and psychologically assault and if they are offered the ‘wise’ advice by a principal to ‘build a high wall & put it all behind you’. Remember this experience is traumatic!  It has denied your child the right to respect. Demand to see the school’s anti-bullying policy. Look for evidence of their bully free zone where high walls won’t be need.

5.  If a person in authority says teachers will be more sympathetic say “I’d prefer empathy thank you,” children need a school that operates from a place of empathy not sympathy.

6.  And finally, if you are told your child needs to be more resilient…stand your ground, look the advice giver in the eye, thank them for their suggestion but leave them in no doubt that your child has been too resilient for too long in an environment that has no obvious signs of safe boundaries or a bully free zone. And then ask them how resilient they’d be in the same environment!

 

Now you’re taking ownership, using your voice and making progress… to ree-create your life beyond bullying!

Has bullying affected you or your children? What painful pitfalls did you experience? What did you learn from it?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

http://www.createspaceweb.wordpress.com

http://www.ree-creates.com

Bullying & Beyond… Stand up, speak up!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

 

Your child is or has been bullied at school and you have found an opportunity to talk to them, making a written record of events as you discuss them, without being caught up in frustrating and emotionally upsetting arguments. Now pause to acknowledge the progress you have made, you’ve managed to… 6.Avoid the hook!

You’re now aware and can understand that the changes in behaviour you’ve seen are signs of bullying. Those signs probably included your child;

avoiding situations,
reducing their academic performance,
refusing to go to school,
lacking motivation, wanting to achieve goals but showing perfectionist traits, then appearing paralysed,
disappointed by not living up to the high standards they set themselves,
withdrawing into themselves,
being stressed, having emotional outbursts,
showing signs of anxiety, depression, OCD or specific phobias,
consuming excess alcohol, or maybe using drugs,
getting into trouble in school,
being charged with social disorder,
or engaging in self-harm
then…

If you are like me,
you probably struggle to know what to do.

You are unsure of where to turn next.

You are probably paralysed like we were.

You probably struggled to even accept the situation.

You wanted to wave a magic wand and fix everything…

If any of the above resonates with you, it is very important that you are pro-active. Do not allow bullying to render you paralysed. Your child might not want you to speak up for fear of making the situation worse or been seen as ‘a grass’ or a ‘cry-baby’. You must be very discreet but you must seek out support to help you stand up and speak up to bullying!

In this post I help you list what you can do.  Bullying & Beyond…20 Knowledge is Power!

Have you noticed your child’s behaviour changing? Have you struggled to understand the changes you’ve noticed.  Can you see it from a different perspective now?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Flashback Friday… ‘Sin Bin’

Last night I caught myself…not in the nick of time, but certainly in time to reduced my time in the ‘Sin Bin!’  You might wonder whether I am a rugby player but I can confirm that is certainly not the case!

When I say ‘Sin Bin‘ I am referring to being caught up in an upsetting incident or any emotional state where suffering is happening.

Here’s an outline…Last night I made an assumption that ‘somebody’ was going to do something for me to support me.  I expected them to be there for me.

So I was shocked when I didn’t get the support I expected. I got a ‘No’.  And oh boy, my child-self jumped at the chance to act up!  I went silent and I sulked. I gave out a little too. I opted for an early night in bed; to run away from the problem…but as I was preparing for bed thankfully I realised,…I became aware…that I had made an assumption of support. I hadn’t asked in plain English for what I needed.  The fractured communication meant that ‘someone’ was not fully aware of what I needed.  As a result they had made alternative plans.  I realised, that just as I had a right to ask and expect…they had an equal right to say ‘No’ and expect a mature acceptance.

Thankfully by realising; by becoming aware, I got myself out of the ‘Sin Bin‘ after a short period of time. I saved myself a lot of emotional upset and physical pain.  I remember back to a previous post where it took a long time suffering before logic returned. If you wish, read about that learning journey here Wise or otherwise?

I am so grateful that I have grown and learned from that experience. I am grateful to constantly be developing my awareness. I am grateful to be reminded of the importance of clear communication.

Realising that although I am there a lot for ‘someone,’ doesn’t mean they have to be there for me and if I only give of myself expecting a return then that’s not true, unselfish giving.  That is conditional giving…giving on condition of a return!

I hope you found my reflection helpful. I would love to hear your comments or any experience where you grew in awareness.

Much love,

Marie xx

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