Search

Create Space

Creating, living, learning.

Tag

Calm

Today’s 3TC: divorce, umbrella, octopus…

20190103_095230
We have the choice…

Jokingly but in earnest…

Some days

I feel

like an octopus,

trying to cope with soooo many things,

Some days

I feel

I need an umbrella,

to shield me from their onslaught,

Some days

I feel

A divorce

from the perpetrators

could be the solution to this pollution

But most days

I feel

a good laugh or a sleep brings the best relief!

Le grà,

Marie xx

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/74951/posts/2204449929

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…6.Avoid the hook!

20180708_110930
Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

This post has been updated with a therapist’s viewpoint…

Your son or daughter arrives home from school, you know by their mood and verbal and non-verbal behaviour that they are upset.  Maybe you notice they are avoiding you, they resist talking to you about their day or they might even tell you lies, pretending there is nothing wrong.

You might witness their mood deteriorating further and that might include them turning their frustration on you by shouting, blaming and generally behaving disrespectfully.

You are likely at this point to notice your temper rising and your patience being tested. This is the crucial moment…try to avoid the hook, try to resist being sucked into the argument.  Getting caught up in a two way shouting match serves no purpose!

Try to be mindful that this behaviour is your son or daughter’s way of coping with the upset they are feeling as a result of being bullied.

They are trying to cope by literally tossing some of their upset off themselves and onto you.  The very best thing that you can do is avoid becoming emotional.

Instead, calmly and patiently see if you can get to the root of the problem.  What is the underlying issue?  If the emotional outburst continues, again, calmly but firmly inform your child that you refuse to deal with them and set a time to talk later, when they have calmed down.  Then walk away, leave the environment.

Importantly, now is a good time to think of self-care (you might like to read my previous post Here)

Once you have practiced some self-care you will be feeling much calmer and in a better place to help your child.

It is vitally important that at the appointed time or when your child has calmed down that you follow up with them and try to ascertain the difficulty they are having.  If you do, you are showing them that their issue is of concern to you. You are also building trust.

UPDATE…

I would like to thank Jennifer @ Tea With Jennifer for this insight which she kindly gave me permission to share with you.

“From a therapist’s viewpoint the behavior of the child is a form of communication, communicating that they are in crisis & can’t verbalize it correctly.

So they start acting out subconsciously, thus bringing attention to the crisis within them. Fear often manifests itself as anger in many especially males.

Blessings,

Jennifer”

https://teawithjennifer.blog

Have you ever experienced a situation similar to the above?  What happened during it? How did you handle it? Please share, I’d love to hear your experience.

Much love,

Marie xx

Daily Prompt: Rapid Revival of Real…

via Daily Prompt: Rapid

20170804_193621

Rapid is an adjective meaning happening in a short time or at a great rate.  Rapid can also be a noun meaning a fast-flowing, turbulent part of a river.

Modern living revolves around rapid…people’s lives have become entwined in rapid; everything must happen in a short time or at a great rate. We talk fast, think fast, move fast. We expect instant results, from our new diet, new hobby and even from our children.   We buy commodities and use them up fast.  We connect on social media to get ‘likes’ and ‘followers.’  But as quickly as people build a profile they are rapidly overtaken by the next sensation. Everything and everybody is disposable.  All is well until rapid turns to turbulent, then life is no longer stable or calm but characterised by conflict, disorder and confusion.  Getting life back on track may not be such a rapid process!

But we are amazing human beings. We are, real people, hidden underneath all the hurry and rush.  We can turn every negative into a positive…let’s start a tidal wave, a rapid revival of real with a friendly wave across a street, time for a chat with a neighbour, a phone call to a friend, a family meal around your table…even if it’s fast food, eaten slowly!

Be the Rapid Revival of Real!

Much love,

Marie xx

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑