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The Power is yours… Quote No.90 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

 

Quote 90

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“Be brave. Take a risk. Volunteer. Help others.”

Anne’s words definitely resonate during this pandemic.

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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Encourage Yourself Encourage Others by Anne Devine. (If you would like your own copy of Anne’s book send your enquiries to info.devinepublishing@gmail.com)

 

The Power is yours… Quote No 98 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Others”

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As we adjust to the challenges of Covid19, are you interested in ways to Encourage Yourself and Encourage Others?

Check out my introduction: The Power is yours… “Encourage Yourself Encourage Others Quote No.99”

 

Today’s quote No.98

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If you are interested in obtaining a copy of Encourage Yourself Encourage Others, enquiries can be made directly to Anne at info.devinepublishing@gmail.com or by phone at 085 7167873

 

Here are some blessings in my Covid19 world A matter of focus…

What blessings have you observed within your Covid19 world?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Bullying & Beyond…Self-care x 10!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

In my previous post on bullying I shared some listening tips I found helpful  Read it here

Another important aspect of listening, when bullying is an issue for you or your children, is listening to what your own body is telling you.

When you are stressed you might notice that you behave in ways that are out of character.  Examples could include cancelling a day out with a friend, missing time at work or increasing your consumption of food or drink, as a source of comfort.  You might realise you feel anxious and ready to snap at those around you.  If this sounds very familiar then self-care is the answer.

There is a well known saying… “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”   No matter how tough we think we are, any on-going, distressing situation can wear down our resilience and make us want to run as far away as possible from the upset.  I’ve been there, many times, when I felt helpless to improve the situation for both our children.  I felt totally stressed and unable to concentrate on other aspects of my life.

Thankfully I realised the importance of self-care.  I realised I could not be a source of support to others if I did not look after my own health and welfare first.

To be your best self and function at peak capability, particularly at a time of crisis, YOU need to make time and space for YOU.  

I can’t emphasise enough, the importance of that last sentence!  Self-care might initially involve some professional counselling support for you or your child.  Finding a Counsellor or Psychologist experienced in the area of bullying, and building a positive relationship based on trust, will be the corner-stone to making progress.

Another important part of self-care is finding ways to forget your worries. Part of the reason why I developed this blog and called it “Create Space” was to “create” some “space” for me, to zone out from my concerns, and focus instead on my interests and the positives in my life. This creative space helped me recharge.  I forgot my worries and built my resilience!

Try to find what lights your fire, whether it is joining a yoga class or having coffee with a friend.  Try a walk in the fresh air if you can’t think of anything that would brighted your day.  Self-care will nurture your inner child, lift your spirit, help you put things into perspective and clear your head to enable you consider new solutions.

Remember to practice Self-care!  Better still practice “Self-care, times 10!”

I hope you found this helpful or maybe you know someone who might find it helpful.  I’d love to hear your thoughts. What happens when you neglect self-care?  What’s the last thing you did for fun? How does having “me” time make you feel and why would you recommend it?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

Bullying & Beyond…Really Listen!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

In my first post about bullying I wrote about the importance of not losing heart, Bullying & Beyond…1.Take Heart!

In this post I’d like to focus on the importance of listening

2. REALLY LISTEN!

Children come home from school and everyday we ask them the same questions… How was your day?  What did you do? Tell me something you learned.  Did you have fun? Often it’s the case that we get the same answers.  We fall into a habit… habitual behaviour, repeating what we always do and as a result we often miss out on subtle signs of bullying.

If you suspect your child is being bullied, I can’t stress enough, how important it is to REALLY LISTEN!

When your children arrive home or you collect them from school, put down your phone. Pause from your cleaning or cooking.  Turn off the TV and listen to what your children are saying.  Also try to hear what they might not be saying.  They may not have the words to say it or they might be too frightened to talk about what is happening but their body language or a change in their behaviour might reveal a whole lot more.

Some examples could include;

Your child might become argumentative, almost trying to pick a fight with you or their siblings.

They might become withdrawn and sullen or go silent.

They might damage some of their belongings or some household items.

They might restrict their food.

They might disengage from their favourite hobbies or interests.

They might also have trouble sleeping. And as a result become chronically sleep deprived, develop insomnia which affects their body clock, sleeping during the day, unable to sleep at night. All this affects behavior, mood and ability to function.

These changes will all be out of character.

Test yourself…can you fully recall their last conversation with you?  If not, ask yourself why not?  Did you pay full attention or were you thinking of other things you needed to do? Nothing is as important as being fully present with your child and really listening.  Practice being fully present and challenge yourself to recall your last communication with your child.

I hope you find this helpful and would love to hear from you.

Have you or your children experienced bullying?  How did it impact you or your child? Did it cause a change in behaviour? Did really listening improve your situation?

Much love,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…this is the reality

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

Trigger alert…this post is upsetting.

Lives are destroyed by bullying.

Children’s mental, emotional and psychological health damaged not only in the short-term but often into the long-term.

Lives are lost, too often, to bullying.  Children unable to cope with the torture inflicted on them by bullies sadly see no way out, other than to take their lives.

I might be writing this from Ireland and this story may refer to Yarraka Bayles, a boy on the other side of the world but the location is irrelevant… bullying is bullying and this is the reality for another child and another family. It is a horrific, upsetting reality.

This bullying is focused on dwarfism.  But if it wasn’t about dwarfism it would be about anything else the bully decided they didn’t like about their victim such as their weight or even their accent.  Take a few moments to educate yourself and then take a few moments to educate your children… because this is a reality that is totally avoidable and it is a reality no child or parents deserve!
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx

Bullying & Beyond…You can make a difference

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

The following “Tips for a better internet together” offers some very practical advice which I’d encourage parents and guardians to discuss with their children.  These simple tips could make a big difference to someone who is experiencing bullying.

“1. Reach out to someone you know is being bullied.  A simple message of support, a like, or a smile can be enough to give hope to someone who feels alone.

2. Include someone you see being isolated.  Invite them to sit with you at lunch, include them in a chat, share jokes with them.

3.  Make a clear statement that you think bullying is unacceptable and not just another part of growing up.  Sharing or liking anti-bullying messages on social networks is a simple way of doing this.  You might even go further and create your own.

4.  Say ‘No’ or ‘Stop’ when you see someone behaving unfairly.  Standing up takes real courage but not doing it is the same as giving your permission for someone to be bullied.

5.  Get help from an adult if you think that standing up to a bully might put you at risk of being hurt or becoming the next target.  You might not always be able to fix things without putting yourself at risk, but you can always do the right thing – and that means getting help.  In fact telling a parent or teacher is usually the moment when the situation stops getting worse and starts being dealt with.

6. Report it.  All good schools and clubs have ways for you to report bullying incidents.  Find out what they are and use them.  You can also click the report abuse button on websites like Facebook and Twitter.  They all have to take reports seriously and remember they won’t reveal the identity of the person making the report.

7.  Don’t bully back no matter how angry you feel.  You should never accept bullying but don’t cross the line and bully the bully.  It’s ok to point out that the bullying should stop but it’s not ok to send abusive messages in retaliation.  It makes it more difficult to get help from your school.  They might even end up punishing you too.”

Source: http://www.webwise.ie

MySelfie and the wider world

Webwise Primary Anti-Cyber Bullying Teachers’ Handbook

What advice do you give your children if they see someone being bullied?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

Bullying & Beyond…Moving Forward with Hope…

 

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

This is a photo of  Emma and Doris taken in the run up to Christmas

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Doris has grown quite a lot in the past few months…

but so has her amazing mum Emma…

Emma shared her photo to her Instagram account.  Emma’s growth from this journey is evident in what she wrote about being relentlessly bullied in school…

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If you have experienced school bullying or your children have or are being bullied, don’t despair, there is always hope and because we’ve been there and have grown from our experience, we know you too can find peace and move forward with hope!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…Defining Cyber-bullying

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

In Ireland, the Department of Education & Science, (DES) gives clarification on what constitutes bullying using social media:

Placing a once-off offensive or hurtful public message, image or statement on a social network site or other public forum where that message, image or statement can be viewed and/or repeated by other people will be regarded as bullying behaviour’ (DES 2013: 9).

In contrast, one-off incidents of negative behaviour, such as isolated hurtful text messages and private mails, which cannot be viewed or repeated by other people, are not considered to be included under the  definition of bullying.

The fact that the internet provides anonymity can have particular consequences
for cyber bullying. Being able to act and communicate anonymously online removes
some of the deterrents that would help prevent children from getting involved.  The fear of negative consequences is lessened for the perpetrators and it increases the psychological distance between them and their actions.  The perpetrators can therefore refuse to take responsibility for their actions.  In most cases, cyber-bullies know their targets, but their targets don’t always know the identity of their cyber-bullies. This can lead to children and young people being suspicious of, and alienated from, all their peers.

The fact that the distinction between bystanders and active participants can be
less distinct in the context of online bullying also makes cyber bullying more difficult to
deal with than traditional offline bullying.

The bystander effect refers to incidents where an individual in need of help is not assisted by an onlooker because the onlooker assumes that someone else will intervene.

Responsibility for bullying often goes beyond the person who creates and posts harmful content online. Sharing, or commenting on content on social networking websites or joining, subscribing or following online sources of content
intended to humiliate or harm individuals can also be considered bullying behaviour.

I hope you found this post helpful and that you feel confident in defining what cyber-bullying is and what cyber-bullying is not.

 

Source #UP2US Anti-Bullying, Teachers’ Handbook, Junior Cycle, SPHE

Get Resources

I recommend you check out the “Let’s Fight it Together” video.

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…Defining Bullying

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

Have you ever considered what bullying is, and what bullying is not?

In Ireland, the Department of Education’s definition of bullying is “Unwanted negative behaviour, verbal, psychological or physical, conducted by an individual or group against another person (or persons) and which is repeated over time.”

Therefore there are 3 important flags to watch out for in defining behaviour as bullying behaviour, namely…

1.  There must be INTENT (DELIBERATE)

2.  There must be an IMBALANCE OF POWER

3.  It must be REPEATED OVER TIME

However there is an exception in that it is deemed a cyber-bullying offence, if a child is bullied just once, via an open social media platform; where hurtful information or images can be reshared.

I hope you found this post helpful and that you feel confident in defining what bullying is and what bullying is not.

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

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