Last night I caught myself…not in the nick of time, but certainly in time to reduced my time in the ‘Sin Bin!’ You might wonder whether I am a rugby player but I can confirm that is certainly not the case!
When I say ‘Sin Bin‘ I am referring to being caught up in an upsetting incident or any emotional state where suffering is happening.
Here’s an outline…Last night I made an assumption that ‘somebody’ was going to do something for me to support me. I expected them to be there for me.
So I was shocked when I didn’t get the support I expected. I got a ‘No’. And oh boy, my child-self jumped at the chance to act up! I went silent and I sulked. I gave out a little too. I opted for an early night in bed; to run away from the problem…but as I was preparing for bed thankfully I realised,…I became aware…that I had made an assumption of support. I hadn’t asked in plain English for what I needed. The fractured communication meant that ‘someone’ was not fully aware of what I needed. As a result they had made alternative plans. I realised, that just as I had a right to ask and expect…they had an equal right to say ‘No’ and expect a mature acceptance.
Thankfully by realising; by becoming aware, I got myself out of the ‘Sin Bin‘ after a short period of time. I saved myself a lot of emotional upset and physical pain. I remember back to a previous post where it took a long time suffering before logic returned. If you wish, read about that learning journey here Wise or otherwise?
I am so grateful that I have grown and learned from that experience. I am grateful to constantly be developing my awareness. I am grateful to be reminded of the importance of clear communication.
Realising that although I am there a lot for ‘someone,’ doesn’t mean they have to be there for me and if I only give of myself expecting a return then that’s not true, unselfish giving. That is conditional giving…giving on condition of a return!
I hope you found my reflection helpful. I would love to hear your comments or any experience where you grew in awareness.
It’s very easy to suffer from Assumption Consumption; a deadly illness that consumes and eats away a logical mind. It’s a lethal weapon in the wrong hands! We make thousands of judgements daily, not all of them are correct.
So how can we avoid jumping to conclusions, making judgements and developing Assumption Consumption?
We can start by pausing before we leap into judgement mode.
We can step back and count to ten.
We can ask ourselves could there be an alternative explanation?
Then, with daily practice we can avoid falling into an assumption trap!
Thankfully with time and a little rational thinking we can become aware of our Assumption Consumption and we often find the very opposite of our assumption was the case!
Can you recall an assumption that proved to be wrong? What might have helped you avoid making that assumption? How can you avoid making assumptions in the future? Please share what worked for you. I really enjoy your comments, thanks for calling in to visit!