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The Power is yours… Quote No.97 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Other”

 

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If you’re new here and would like some of the backstory, please check out my introduction to The Power is yours: The Power is yours… “Encourage Yourself Encourage Others Quote No.99”

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“Encourage Yourself Encourage Others” Anne Devine

 

Yes, just like the photo, lives have been turned sideways, and upside down.  But, we are resilient and we can adjust!

If you are lucky enough to be able to visit a beach, share your photo or link in the comments below. If you’re in lockdown and can’t visit a beach, don’t be afraid to dream up one!

Find a photo of a recent trip to the beach on your phone or better still dust of an old photo album and find one there.  Memories are powerful!  Relive those memories, smell the sea, hear the sounds all around you.  Share what you recall, with others in the comments below or with those present around you.

Life is sometimes choppy, sometimes calm.  Find the calm today and encourage others to find the calm too!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Anne can be contacted at info.devinepublishing@gmail.com

The Power is yours… Quote No 98 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Others”

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As we adjust to the challenges of Covid19, are you interested in ways to Encourage Yourself and Encourage Others?

Check out my introduction: The Power is yours… “Encourage Yourself Encourage Others Quote No.99”

 

Today’s quote No.98

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If you are interested in obtaining a copy of Encourage Yourself Encourage Others, enquiries can be made directly to Anne at info.devinepublishing@gmail.com or by phone at 085 7167873

 

Here are some blessings in my Covid19 world A matter of focus…

What blessings have you observed within your Covid19 world?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

The Power is yours… Quote No.99 “Encourage Yourself Encourage Others”

 

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Enquiries can be made directly to Anne at info.devinepublishing@gmail.com or by phone at 085 7167873

 

Please join me daily as I share words of encouragement from “Encourage Yourself  Encourage Others.”

We may be restricted in our movements but we need not be restricted in creating empowering thoughts and actions.

I’m going to work backwards through my friend’s gem of a book as we countdown these unprecedented days that we can choose to see as a gift.

Are you ready to empower yourself over the next 99 days?

I encourage you to take a moment or two in silence to contemplate these quotes.

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

A matter of focus…

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Last night’s beautiful Irish sunset. Approaching darkness or embracing light?

 

Do you see the darkness when you look at this photo or do you see the light?

Do you see people panic buying and paralysed by the unprecedented changes to our daily lives caused by Covid19?

Or do you see ordinary people doing extra-ordinary things to reach out and support one another, in ways not seen before?

This is an opportunity to change our focus,

From

‘What about me?’

to

‘What can I do for you? And then realising, what that just did for me!’

We can all do something with the time we are being given!

What are you doing?

I’m working from home, at least until the 29th of March.  After that the future is unclear but that doesn’t matter because we only have to focus on this, one day at a time!

I never thought supporting others with their literacy development by phone, e-mail and online could be so fulfilling.  I’m finding myself present in somebody’s isolation. I’m a voice and a listening ear. I’m having conversations about the fear this virus is causing.  And in the same conversation I’m talking about the power of being connected to each other and its positive impact on mental well-being.  I’m highlighting the importance of distraction and the opportunity to set small learning goals…

Like

Taking a break from news updates

and overwhelming media stories,

To

Setting a goal for this morning

And one more for tonight,

Like

Reading something you enjoy,

Then

Writing the paragraph you just read,

And then selecting two spellings

Breaking them into syllables such as

Information….

In / for / ma / tion

Or

Situation…

Sit / u / a / tion

Then with a sense of satisfaction and achievement,

sitting back and reminding yourself

that we are resilient

And each one of us is capable of great things!

 

What do you think?  Is there darkness or light?

Do you have a goal in mind to help others?

What do you think it will do for you?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…Self-care x 10!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

In my previous post on bullying I shared some listening tips I found helpful  Read it here

Another important aspect of listening, when bullying is an issue for you or your children, is listening to what your own body is telling you.

When you are stressed you might notice that you behave in ways that are out of character.  Examples could include cancelling a day out with a friend, missing time at work or increasing your consumption of food or drink, as a source of comfort.  You might realise you feel anxious and ready to snap at those around you.  If this sounds very familiar then self-care is the answer.

There is a well known saying… “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”   No matter how tough we think we are, any on-going, distressing situation can wear down our resilience and make us want to run as far away as possible from the upset.  I’ve been there, many times, when I felt helpless to improve the situation for both our children.  I felt totally stressed and unable to concentrate on other aspects of my life.

Thankfully I realised the importance of self-care.  I realised I could not be a source of support to others if I did not look after my own health and welfare first.

To be your best self and function at peak capability, particularly at a time of crisis, YOU need to make time and space for YOU.  

I can’t emphasise enough, the importance of that last sentence!  Self-care might initially involve some professional counselling support for you or your child.  Finding a Counsellor or Psychologist experienced in the area of bullying, and building a positive relationship based on trust, will be the corner-stone to making progress.

Another important part of self-care is finding ways to forget your worries. Part of the reason why I developed this blog and called it “Create Space” was to “create” some “space” for me, to zone out from my concerns, and focus instead on my interests and the positives in my life. This creative space helped me recharge.  I forgot my worries and built my resilience!

Try to find what lights your fire, whether it is joining a yoga class or having coffee with a friend.  Try a walk in the fresh air if you can’t think of anything that would brighted your day.  Self-care will nurture your inner child, lift your spirit, help you put things into perspective and clear your head to enable you consider new solutions.

Remember to practice Self-care!  Better still practice “Self-care, times 10!”

I hope you found this helpful or maybe you know someone who might find it helpful.  I’d love to hear your thoughts. What happens when you neglect self-care?  What’s the last thing you did for fun? How does having “me” time make you feel and why would you recommend it?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

Bullying & Beyond…Improve your Listening Skills!

 

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

In my previous post…Bullying & Beyond…2.Really Listen!…I wrote about the importance of Listening.  When somebody, be it a child or an adult, is distressed as a result of bullying, just having somebody who is willing to listen to them can make a huge difference to how they feel.  Your first reaction may be to rush in and immediately solve everything but instead be patient and listen.

Here are some simple tips I found helpful,

1.Acknowledge your child’s emotional state -say that you can see how upset, angry etc., they are.

2.Remove or resist any distractions.

3.Make sure you can clearly hear what your child is saying.

4. Focus your attention and concentrate.

5. Be patient, listen to the whole story.

6. Make encouraging, agreeable sounds to show you are paying attention…’mmm,’ ‘I see,’ ‘oh right’.

7. Avoid making judgements – take time to consider before offering solutions.

8. Ask questions to clarify.

9. Keep an open mind.

10. Summarise or sum up what you heard, ‘so the main problem was’ or ‘if I understand properly you feel…’ to let them know you understand exactly.

Remember to pay attention to their tone of voice and observe their body language, which can give you insights or hidden messages which they may not be able to voice.

If you agree on any particular course of action or efforts to address the issue, be sure and follow through.  Listening needs to be followed up with action, even if it’s only arranging follow-up conversations.  If you fail to follow-through, your child may get the impression that what they have confided in you, just goes in one ear and out the other.

For any victim of bullying, building and maintaining trust is so important and this can’t happen unless you stick to your word.

I hope you find this helpful.  Please feel free to share any experience you have had which would have benefitted from active and effective listening.

Alternatively please share some effective approaches you have used. I would love to learn what worked for you.

Much love,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

Bullying & Beyond…Really Listen!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

In my first post about bullying I wrote about the importance of not losing heart, Bullying & Beyond…1.Take Heart!

In this post I’d like to focus on the importance of listening

2. REALLY LISTEN!

Children come home from school and everyday we ask them the same questions… How was your day?  What did you do? Tell me something you learned.  Did you have fun? Often it’s the case that we get the same answers.  We fall into a habit… habitual behaviour, repeating what we always do and as a result we often miss out on subtle signs of bullying.

If you suspect your child is being bullied, I can’t stress enough, how important it is to REALLY LISTEN!

When your children arrive home or you collect them from school, put down your phone. Pause from your cleaning or cooking.  Turn off the TV and listen to what your children are saying.  Also try to hear what they might not be saying.  They may not have the words to say it or they might be too frightened to talk about what is happening but their body language or a change in their behaviour might reveal a whole lot more.

Some examples could include;

Your child might become argumentative, almost trying to pick a fight with you or their siblings.

They might become withdrawn and sullen or go silent.

They might damage some of their belongings or some household items.

They might restrict their food.

They might disengage from their favourite hobbies or interests.

They might also have trouble sleeping. And as a result become chronically sleep deprived, develop insomnia which affects their body clock, sleeping during the day, unable to sleep at night. All this affects behavior, mood and ability to function.

These changes will all be out of character.

Test yourself…can you fully recall their last conversation with you?  If not, ask yourself why not?  Did you pay full attention or were you thinking of other things you needed to do? Nothing is as important as being fully present with your child and really listening.  Practice being fully present and challenge yourself to recall your last communication with your child.

I hope you find this helpful and would love to hear from you.

Have you or your children experienced bullying?  How did it impact you or your child? Did it cause a change in behaviour? Did really listening improve your situation?

Much love,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…An exciting future!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

With a new goal in mind, I’ve had to reluctantly decide to refrain from writing new blog posts, for the immediate future.  To keep my blog active I am instead going to re-run my existing posts.

I’ve had to come to this decision so I can dedicate time to my writing project.

I am in the process of compiling my Bullying & Beyond posts into a book.  To give adequate time to this project I have to be proactive in managing my health (due to the challenges of living with CFS/Fibromyalgia, as anyone living with a chronic illness will understand).

I’ve really appreciated your constant company while I shared my Bullying & Beyond posts.

Your friendship, encouraging comments and shared experiences have played a huge role in helping me overcome the pain of supporting our children through school bullying and has enabled me to reclaim my voice and write about our experience. I am so grateful to all of you for this gift!

If you would like to share any information about supports available in your area or if you would like to research any bullying prevention and intervention resources that are relevant to where you live I would be delighted to hear from you and look forward to your participation.

I hope you will continue to keep me company and continue to share your thoughts with me.  I will of course reply to any comments received!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Feb, 2020.

This was my first post in my Bullying & Beyond series…Bullying & Beyond…Take Heart!

Bullying & Beyond…this is the reality

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

Trigger alert…this post is upsetting.

Lives are destroyed by bullying.

Children’s mental, emotional and psychological health damaged not only in the short-term but often into the long-term.

Lives are lost, too often, to bullying.  Children unable to cope with the torture inflicted on them by bullies sadly see no way out, other than to take their lives.

I might be writing this from Ireland and this story may refer to Yarraka Bayles, a boy on the other side of the world but the location is irrelevant… bullying is bullying and this is the reality for another child and another family. It is a horrific, upsetting reality.

This bullying is focused on dwarfism.  But if it wasn’t about dwarfism it would be about anything else the bully decided they didn’t like about their victim such as their weight or even their accent.  Take a few moments to educate yourself and then take a few moments to educate your children… because this is a reality that is totally avoidable and it is a reality no child or parents deserve!
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx

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