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Radiate because?

  1. via Daily Prompt: Radiate

I radiate because of you… my husband, my child, my friend, my fellow blogger…

I radiate because writing has opened up pockets of opportunity for self-expression, possibility and growth…

I radiate because today I can be the smile that makes somebody’s day…

I radiate because today I can be the kind words that take your worries away…

I radiate because tomorrow it might be too late to radiate…

I radiate…

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…because I can share hugs that replaces words and tell you that you radiate the world to me!

Think about it…

You radiate because…?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…Denial

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

When we deny who we are and how we really feel, either physically and/or mentally we silence our authentic self.  We reject ourselves. For years I didn’t admit that I have fibro/fatigue, except to a few family members and close friends. When we reject ourselves we are bullying ourselves. We think we are not good enough, we focus on our flaws and feel a sense of shame.

Similarly, when we are bullied we are also silenced. We are judged by someone and denied the opportunity to be our real selves. We think we are not good enough and we withdraw from society or family. When we withdraw emotionally we block off our true emotions, denying ourselves the right to acknowledge and feel our emotions.

When our daughter experienced bullying, it caused her to step into survivor mode. She put up a front whilst crying inside.  She couldn’t let the bullies see her crying. She knew if she broke down crying, it would fuel even more bullying.

After finishing secondary school she moved past bullying, building back her resilience. She participated in further education and in society. She set and achieved many new goals. She met new and inclusive peers, friends and educators. All these mature, self-aware people bolstered her confidence.

However, even if it’s been years since you were bullied, a simple, present day event may unexpectedly trigger the same feelings. This was the case for our daughter.  It only took one educator to criticise Emma and her work, in front of her peers, to bring our daughter right back to survival mode.

This time it was different. Emma found the courage to address the issue to her school counsellor. She sought advice. She spoke up to that educator. She stood up for herself. She didn’t need to call upon her parents. She was self-sufficient.

But despite speaking up for herself, the trauma of being disrespected and denied the right to be herself, triggered her survival mode. All the things she could do with ease soon became overwhelming. That was almost nine months ago.

Anxiety
Low mood
Mood swings
Isolation
Fear
Agoraphobia
Panic attacks
Loneliness

All symptoms of bullying.

Then Emma’s new puppy, Doris arrived.

 


More mental health support came on-board.  But there are still ups and downs.

She felt lonely a few nights ago but she didn’t deny her feelings. She didn’t hide it. She cried for the loneliness and for the years of denying her true self.  You can learn more about isolation here Bullying & Beyond…A victim’s abject loneliness.

She cried while we were away, only showing us a glimpse when we returned. But a glimpse is enough to show us that she has turned a corner because now she is beginning to listen to and acknowledge how she feels.  She is learning to externalise how she feels instead of internalising the pain. That is a big step and an important lesson!

We can also learn a lesson from her new, trainee Psychiatric Assistance Dog, Doris.

Doris saw Emma’s upset. Doris didn’t deny her. The opposite in fact, Dorris, a little puppy, stretched herself across our daughter’s lap and kissed and licked her. Dorris accepted Emma exactly as she was.

Have you been denied the right to be yourself?  Do you deny yourself? What supports can you access to build your resilience and be your true self?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Life – more grass than flowers, on Monday’s Memory Lane.

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Welcome to Monday’s Memory Lane where I share a post from before we came to know each other.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed?  Does life feel too busy?  Have we become addicted to being busy?  How do we shift our focus to a more positive one?  I hope you will read on…Life – More grass than flowers? Shift your focus!

Le gra,

Mindfully Marie xx

Flashback Friday… ‘Sin Bin’

Last night I caught myself…not in the nick of time, but certainly in time to reduced my time in the ‘Sin Bin!’  You might wonder whether I am a rugby player but I can confirm that is certainly not the case!

When I say ‘Sin Bin‘ I am referring to being caught up in an upsetting incident or any emotional state where suffering is happening.

Here’s an outline…Last night I made an assumption that ‘somebody’ was going to do something for me to support me.  I expected them to be there for me.

So I was shocked when I didn’t get the support I expected. I got a ‘No’.  And oh boy, my child-self jumped at the chance to act up!  I went silent and I sulked. I gave out a little too. I opted for an early night in bed; to run away from the problem…but as I was preparing for bed thankfully I realised,…I became aware…that I had made an assumption of support. I hadn’t asked in plain English for what I needed.  The fractured communication meant that ‘someone’ was not fully aware of what I needed.  As a result they had made alternative plans.  I realised, that just as I had a right to ask and expect…they had an equal right to say ‘No’ and expect a mature acceptance.

Thankfully by realising; by becoming aware, I got myself out of the ‘Sin Bin‘ after a short period of time. I saved myself a lot of emotional upset and physical pain.  I remember back to a previous post where it took a long time suffering before logic returned. If you wish, read about that learning journey here Wise or otherwise?

I am so grateful that I have grown and learned from that experience. I am grateful to constantly be developing my awareness. I am grateful to be reminded of the importance of clear communication.

Realising that although I am there a lot for ‘someone,’ doesn’t mean they have to be there for me and if I only give of myself expecting a return then that’s not true, unselfish giving.  That is conditional giving…giving on condition of a return!

I hope you found my reflection helpful. I would love to hear your comments or any experience where you grew in awareness.

Much love,

Marie xx

Why Fret?

Why Fret…?

F orget about worring or feeling blue
R ealign your perspective
E mbrace small positives, turn another leaf
T hrive as you are meant to!

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Just look and you’ll find the colour in every blue!

Much love,

Marie xx

A Mentor comes in many guises…

via Daily Prompt: Mentor

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Killarney National Park…a peaceful place to reflect on your mentoring skills.

 

A mentor is someone who educates or offers support and advice and is usually an older person.

Something special happens when you find a good mentor – they don’t just spot your errors and failings and tell you how to improve…

No, a good mentor knows that your thoughts, behaviour, work, class exercise or assignment is your best effort at this moment in time.  But they know how to build upon those foundations and help you reach your full potential.

A good mentor has a generous spirit and they enjoy pointing out all the things you are doing right. Their aim is to help you acknowledge your strengths and learn to believe in yourself. They know that along the way you just forgot how to trust in yourself.

When the time is right an experienced mentor knows it’s time to step back.  They don’t want you to become dependent on their support.  They don’t need your dependency to buffer their self-esteem… No, the very opposite is the case, they enjoy letting you take the driving seat.  They know their job is done!  They believe in your ability and can see you are ready to step confidently outside your comfort zone and achieve your full potential!

Isn’t parenting, being an employee or a colleague, being a sister, being a cousin, being a friend…being alive and just living your day, just amazing…Isn’t it the best mentor and look at what it can teach you!

Much love,

Marie xx

P.s. Thanks for taking time out to stop in to visit. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

Reblog…Brush up on Tricky Words…Adult Learner Friendly Resource!

tricky-words-for-year-10-students > CLICK ON LINK TO DOWNLOAD FREE This document goes through some of the most commonly mispelled and confused words, and gives tips on how to teach kids to remember which word is which. Looks at: There/ they’re/ their Where/ we’re/ were Which / witch / wich weather/ wether Of/ off To/ too/ two […]

via Free Resource – Hints for Teaching Common Tricky Words to Teenagers — Repeat After Me

Pause and Restart…

via Daily Prompt: Restart

Now is a perfect moment to pause…

And press restart!

Have fun!

Much love,

Marie xx

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Pause…and appreciate the beauty of the Irish countryside as The Beast from the East and Storm Emma approach. Restart…again in a few days time!

Lead by Example!

Lead by example… and be a positive in somebody’s life today, help them blossom; then watch yourself blossom!

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Much love,

Marie xx

 

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