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Bullying & Beyond…Reblog…A Healthy Balance — Peacock Poetry

We all know how important it is to have balance in our lives yet we rarely remain completely in the middle. I believe that we need to have lived through highs and lows to know where our centre is. Even in the most difficult of times, if we remain open and receptive then new and […]

via A Healthy Balance — Peacock Poetry

Sam Allen Creative Coach @ Peacock Poetry shared this wonderful post and I felt as if she had been watching over us during our bullying experience and written the words specifically for us. I definitely agree that…“With hindsight you’ll be glad” and so does our son…Bullying…”I am grateful for it all”…

I hope this speak to you too!

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/123363015/posts/2682

Thank you so much Sam for allowing me share your insightful poem!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

Learning… to sing

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Don’t let the sun set…don’t leave your song unsung! Marie Clancy.

I love learning and the focus of my blog is “creating, living, learning.”

I especially love when learning comes about because you’ve seen something from a different perspective… like today when I learned something pretty important…

thanks to Donna @ A Year of Living Kindly and her excellent post and the quotes listed below

The Writer as Wounded Healer

I realised the reason why I have to follow my heart and try to begin a conversation about bullying.  I realised the reason I can’t stand back is because…

“The song I came to sing is left unsung. I spent my life stringing and unstringing my instrument.” Rabindranath Tagore.

And today I also found myself learning that I can’t let embarrassment of my wounds hold me back because…

“Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not, ‘How can we hide our wounds?’ so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but ‘How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?’ When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.” Professor and theologian Henri Nouwen.

Are you holding back from you song? Will you trust enough to sing your song?  Will you hide your wounds or use them in the service of others?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Dee’s word of the Day…learning https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/80183056/posts/2192220572)

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

Paula Light 3TC… Three Things Challenge

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Thanks to Paula for a little light challenge, some fun to get the day started…

For two pins, at this very moment, I’d don my astronaut suit; with its faded stripes, fuel up my craft on lemonade and take an extended space trip, leaving others to fill the gaps in their expectations… they so clearly think I’m expected to fill… LOL!

Anyone feel the same and want to join me for a space party here on Create Space?

Try it yourself…

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/74951/posts/2175858658

Le grà,

Marie xx

 

Riddle…

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Enlighten yourself, it lights the way!

Life is one long riddle…or need it be?

R   Ruminating, if it’s the negative sort, will hold you back,

I   Initiative & Imagination propels you forward,

D  Doubting yourself merely

D  Damages your Initiative & Imagination

L  Love yourself,  as you are,

E  Enlightenment follows and solves your puzzle!

Much love,

Marie xx

wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/riddle/

 

 

Exhaustion or isolation…which is the lesser evil?

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When you have an invisible illness you hide it from others maybe for the fear of being judged or that people won’t understand.

Thankfully I’m getting better at being open about my CFS/Fibro. I’ve often been told how well I look or that I must have a great exercise routine but the truth is I’m just lucky to have a slim frame and have a good understanding of the importance of a balanced diet. In reality I often have to choose between getting a 20 minute walk or cooking the dinner because if I do one I certainly have to forfeit the other.

I’ve felt unwell since Easter but kept pushing myself to the limit to remain in the classroom with my students up to the summer holidays hoping I could recoup my energy then. I also rose to the challenge of an exciting new experience because I wanted some adventure, some fun and some new learning in my life, by attending ICASSI BONN 2017

While Bonn was wonderful it’s now apparent that I drained down an already low battery and as a result I’ve exacerbated a heart complaint. Now I’ve hit the wall.  I’ve had no choice but to stop.  I’m unable to function at home let alone work.

But the hardest part is I’m really missing the social interaction.  I live in the countryside and I feel the isolation.  I miss my colleagues and the daily conversations we had.  I miss my students. I miss being a part of their lives because they helped me take the focus off my own struggle with chronic pain. Their eagerness to contribute to our classes encouraged me to overcome some of my fatigue.  They let me into their lives and being focused on their goals got me through many days where I thought I would surely crumble under the stress that bullying was having on both our teenage children.

I soaked up my students’ warmth and inclusion.  We were partners in a learning space.  On a daily basis I let my students see my difficulty with spellings…how crazy is that I hear you say, a literacy tutor who struggles with spellings? Initially my students thought I should be an expert in spellings but my struggle showed them that it’s ok to make spelling errors and that spellings are something you can continue to improve throughout your lifetime. Soon they relaxed and worried less about spellings.

I have learned that I am not responsible for my students’ learning but I am responsible for my own teaching.  However the fibro fog, pain and exhaustion prevents me giving the level of service I want to give.  It makes the endless bureaucracy involved in the preparation of class materials and assessment requirements insurmountable.

Now I have to listen to my body and practice self-care.  I have to accept the exhaustion and isolation and that takes strength.  I have to recharge my own battery first and my one fear is can I ever sufficiently recharge a battery that is chronically drained?

Much love,

Marie xx

Bullying…”I am grateful for it all”…

My son is less than a month away from his exam results and in expectation of enough points for his chosen 3rd level programme, we completed the application form for his accommodation together last night.

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We discussed choices of accommodation.  We considered the different fees and charges and their due dates. As we worked down through the application form, I was surprised when he stopped and turned to me saying he was “excited!”.

You see, excited was not a word in his vocabulary for a long time. His happiness and excitement were taken from him by bullying.
His journey through primary and 2nd level education has been a very difficult time for him. To be honest it has been one of life’s greatest challenges for all of us, individually and as a family.

But when he turned to me last night and referring to it all, calmly said, “I am grateful for it all” then I knew that the upset, frustration, isolation, insomnia and every other barrier we faced was for a reason. It was all needed in order to bring him and us to the happy place we have reached today.

So, I’m sure you can imagine how great it was to hear him voice his excitement! I told him I was excited for him too and for the future he has ahead of him!

But I knew what he meant; he has learned a lot, we have all learned a lot thanks to the painful lessons of bullying.  We know that his bullies’ words and actions slowly wore down his resilience.   We now know that his happiness and excitement wasn’t taken from him by bullies. Instead, he thought he was powerless. He allowed his happiness and excitement to be taken by those bullies, we did too, we gave them power over us by letting their behaviour affect us.  We didn’t engage in self-care or nurture ourselves enough.

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But not anymore! Now we know how to listen to our feelings.  We can identify signs of stress. We can see those bullies for who they are!  We know their back-story and we’d take our story over their story any day!

We can move forward now from a place of confidence and hope. And we can also with conviction say these painful lessons were indeed the greatest teacher!

Much love,

Marie xx

P.s Isolation is one of the most difficult aspects of bullying, if this post resonates with you please share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

 

Premature…(pre)..mature!

via Daily Prompt: Premature

27 weeks and 5 days was as long as he could contain himself…he was in a hurry and he wasn’t waiting around!  I hardly got to experience being pregnant, very different to my previous pregnancy which reached term plus one week.  Our tiny, unexpected early arrival weighed in at a see-through 2lb 9oz and spent two months in neonatal care.  He was let home to us at 4lbs weight, a few days before Christmas; the best Christmas present ever!  I slept on a mattress on our kitchen floor for months to ensure his little body was kept sufficiently warm, feeding him every two hours.

But he decided early on that premature was not going to be a word in his vocabulary.  He soon caught up with children of his age and cast off the ‘pre’ revealing a ‘mature’ character, deeply sensitive to the pain of others.  He went out of his way to include shy or excluded children into his circle of friends.  He owned up to things he didn’t do in school, taking the blame to save his class suffering the consequences because the guilty child hadn’t the guts to own up. This strength of character was something to envy and soon meant he was a target for bullies.

He has struggled through a deeply challenging teenage stage and a school system that all but failed him but we weathered the journey as a family unit and now know that the best learning comes from the greatest challenges! He has a mature outlook on life way beyond his years.  He is warm and kind, he cares for the environment and animal welfare.  He reads Echart Tolle and Thich Nhat Hanh.

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He faces exams shortly which have the power, in one fell swoop to decide his immediate future but I know beyond doubt that he is more than the outcome of any exam.

He has an innate character that many mature adults never achieve and which I know will help him fulfill his purpose in life!

Thank you for reading and if your son or daughter has struggled because of bullying, please share your experiences with me in the comments below.

Much love,

Marie xx

Feeling Powerless in the Now…

I’m a big advocate of Positive Psychology, believing in the power of positive thinking and the power of Now.  Kathleen Kerswig LUT – We Are The Reminder’s post is very relevant to my approach and so it got me thinking… check it out here…

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/72941598/posts/1849688718

The only thing was my positivity was failing me at that present moment!  I just couldn’t buy into it…

You see, at that moment I did not feel the joy that comes with ‘being’ in the present moment. I couldn’t feel the Power of being in the ‘Now’. I was aware that the present wasn’t the present as I wanted it to be…

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I wanted to be full of energy and travel to the seaside. I wanted a family outing, time with my husband and two young adult children, outdoors for our first sunny ‘summer’ day trip after a particularly long winter. I wanted to walk the beach and share a picnic.

But I had to face the fact that I felt powerless to my cf/fibro. I was drained and I hated to admit that as much as I wanted this outing, my body wasn’t willing and I knew I would feel better staying home. I also knew by staying home I wouldn’t suffer the consequences for the next few days of overdoing it.  I felt powerless to the demands of my body so I reluctantly stayed home…

I rested and then I took a short walk. I read some blogs I follow and posted some positive comments, hoping to lift other peoples’ spirits. But I was sad; I wanted to enjoy some family time. I was lonely; knowing I can’t get those moments back especially with my youngest child fast approaching his 20’s.  And I did shed a few bitter tears…But something strange happened and for that I am filled with gratitude!  Strangely by being aware of and accepting my emotions I gained a new perspective…

I learned that I am not powerless, no, not by a long shot!  I learned that my power has just shifted or changed…just as every stage of life brings change.

I learned that I still have power.  I realised that it’s ok to not fully accept my cf/fibro somedays but I am not powerless… I learned to listen to my body. I realised that I had the ability to readjust my plans in a way that didn’t adversely affect others. I may not have wanted the present moment as it was but I learned to adjust it in a way that showed me; my body, the respect that I deserve.  I listened to my body, my emotions and accepted the imperfect as good enough and that’s a serene place to be!  Serenity Sunday…

I hope that you realise how powerful you are today and that you use your power to your best benefit! I look forward to your comments and ask you to please share your experiences of feeling powerless and how you handle them.

Much love,

Marie xx

 

Reblog…Brush up on Tricky Words…Adult Learner Friendly Resource!

tricky-words-for-year-10-students > CLICK ON LINK TO DOWNLOAD FREE This document goes through some of the most commonly mispelled and confused words, and gives tips on how to teach kids to remember which word is which. Looks at: There/ they’re/ their Where/ we’re/ were Which / witch / wich weather/ wether Of/ off To/ too/ two […]

via Free Resource – Hints for Teaching Common Tricky Words to Teenagers — Repeat After Me

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