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Bullying & Beyond…Inverted

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

Inverted means to turn (something) upside down
Or to change the position, order, or relationship of things so that they are the opposite of what they had been.

When you live with something challenging like bullying for long enough and see the destructive effect it has on you and your family, you need to realise that you have two choices, namely

1. stay trapped within the challenge, trying to escape, or
2. find the gift within the challenge and grow it!

When all else failed us as parents, and we could find no solution to the destructive effects bullying had on our children, we stopped trying to find the solutions we wanted to find.

We didn’t admit defeat but we accepted that this was where we were, nothing more, nothing less. We took our focus off all that had gone wrong. We shifted our lens to focus on building our resilience. We stepped back, paused and regrouped. Then we hit back with the most powerful weapon of all… love.

We opened ourselves up, to just love. We didn’t hold out expectations. We didn’t compare. We didn’t complain that life was unfair. We refocused instead on every positive we could find. We spoke from a place of positivity and within a short space of time we began to notice change!

And now, a mere 12 months later, our son has completed his first year in college and has spent his summer touring a number of European countries.  Our daughter is pushing forward with her campaign to have Psychiatric Service Dogs recognised in Ireland and is in the process of training Ireland’s first every Psychiatric Service Dog, Doris.  I’ve experienced, for myself, how cathartic (healing) writing and sharing is, especially when it is done within a safe and creative space, surrounded by a supportive community who identify with my posts and offer positive and affirming feedback.  Because of this support I’ve written over thirty posts on the topic of bullying.

I was recently nominated for an award by Terri at Reclaiming Hope.  https://reclaiminghope.blog/

However, living with fibromyalgia/CFS means I have to constantly prioritise my time and energy.  I don’t commit time to taking part in awards but I am always pleased to be nominated for an award and I am grateful to Terri for her thoughtful introduction which I’d like to share with you…

Marie from Create Space. 

Marie shares her family’s story of bullying, and the devastating effects it has on the mental health of those affected. Although the subject matter has the potential to be weighty and heartbreaking, Marie balances this by sharing how one can rise above the effects of bullying and make a difference in the world.

So, when you face your next challenge, what will you choose?
Will you choose to…
1. remain devastated, weighed down and heartbroken, or will you turn the challenge you face on its head, inverted and
2. rise above your challenge to make a difference in the world!

The choice is yours!

Thank you to all who continue to follow, read and share their feelings, thoughts and comments on my bullying posts.  I would not have reached this point without you!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

Sylvia Marcia learned “all the strength was within me.”

After the breakup, one of the main things I was concerned about was how I was going to continue living my life outdoors. My ex was my adventure partner. He helped plan things. He challenged me. He took me places. Being in the outdoors became part of my identity, but without him – was I […]

via Reclaiming My Identity Outdoors: Breakup. Anxiety. Depression. — Sylvia Marcia

Bullying & Beyond…Take Heart!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

I’m not a professionally qualified Counsellor or expert on bullying but I am a mother who has gained knowledge and experienced of bullying through the lives of our two children.

I have as part of my Degree in Adult Education studied the Psychology of Adult Education and Counselling in Adult Education and found both of these extremely helpful in understanding and coping with the situation we found ourselves in.

Our journey through bullying and its after effects spanned two decades (2002 to 2018) and as a result I’d like to offer my support to other parents who struggle with the impact of bullying on their children.

In these posts I’ll try to share some insights we’ve gained. My first…

1.  TAKE HEART.

If your child is suffering the effects of bullying and if it is having a negative impact on every member of your family, try to remain calm and show a capable front.  I know how upset you feel.  I know that the last thing you can comprehend is that it will all work out just fine.  But trust me… with determination to support your child, and by practicing self-care, you will reach a place of peace and progression!

I know because we were there and now we’ve reached that place of peace and progression and learned a lot as a result.  My son summed up his journey through bullying in a nice quote;  you can read about it here…Bullying…”I am grateful for it all”…

I hope you find this helpful. And I hope to write more on the subject of bullying.

Have you or your children experienced bullying?  Is bullying still an issue for you or have you reached a place of peace and progression? Please feel free to share your experiences, it could help inform other parents, provide comfort or encourage somebody else through the distress of bullying.

Much love,

Mindfully Marie xx

Three Things Challenge: Sunflower, spatula, raise

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Growing sunflowers from seed or running the spatuala around the inside of her great-grandmother’s baking bowl as she removes the remnants of banana bread or coffee cake, just two surefire ways, to raise her spirit from the clutches of anxiety! You too can find the sun within your clouds!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/74951/posts/2287778360

Just One Minute Monday… Child-self!

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Your Child-self helped create your present picture, how you choose to fill the shelf now is up to a very capable you!

Consider your inner child… your child-self that has got you to where you are today, through the good and the bad!

It’s time to show your child-self the love and appreciation they deserve.  Shower them with an abundance of love at every opportunity. Listen to them when they are sad or angry, they have an important message they want you to hear.  Be gentle and kind in how you talk to and treat yourself… this impacts your child-self.  Encourage your child-self to relax, to make time for fun and leave their worries about your future in your capable adult hands.

Now just sit back, be patient and watch yourself flourish!

Much love,

Marie xx

Friday Flashback…”Abstract Anxiety” Welcome old friends and new!

 

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I thought you might like to engage in a little bit of time travel today and maybe if you find it enjoyable you’ll travel back in time with me again next friday.

I’m sharing a link to a little piece of me before we came to know each other. I hope it will help us get to know each other a little better!

I think it would be fair to say that everybody experiences anxiety at some point in their life but there is a very big difference between healthy anxiety, which for example can spur us on before we face an exam, unlike severe anxiety disorder which can have life-limiting implications.

Having experienced both in my immediate family, I wondered what anxiety might look like through our five senses in this post, ABSTRACT ANXIETY

What does anxiety look like through your five senses?  Have you or someone you are close to experienced healthy anxiety or severe anxiety disorder?

Much love,

Marie xx

For the long haul…

via Daily Prompt: Haul

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For almost 19 years I have had to haul fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue around with me.  Some days you haul yourself out of bed and the whole day is like hauling yourself up a mountainside.  Other days it’s like trying to see through the dense fog that covers that mountainside and it makes your brain function feel like it’s caught in a time-lapse photography project.

But stay positive because there is a plus side! There is a valuable haul of learning that comes from an invisible illness…  Never again will you make the assumption when you look at someone that their live is perfect because you know how it feels to be told how great you look despite barely holding it together in either or both body and mind.  Similarly when somebody tells you their struggles, you will be well placed to really empathise because you know what it is to struggle.  Or when someone tells you they are their own worst enemy or that they struggle to accept their illness, you will be well equipt to understand and having learnt some tips and tricks that eased the journey, you are only too happy to share them if it can ease someone else’s struggle.

So you decide…will it be something you begrudgingly haul with you

Or

Will you treasure your valuable haul and put your learning to good use?

Much love,

Marie xx

 

Life gets messy…

via Daily Prompt: Messy

Life gets messy when you don’t say what you mean and mean what you say!

Learn to say ‘No’ when you want to say ‘No’

Learn to say ‘Yes’ with a generous heart!

Much love,

Marie xx

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Ps. When the snow got messy and trapped us in for three days… I had no difficulty saying ‘Yes’ to Emma’s tasty creations!

Reblog…Valentines may be over but…”Do not lose heart…”

Do not lose heart Till you find your destination, And if you still have not found your destination, Just think : Has any river Emanating from a mountain, Ever asked anyone How far the ocean is?

via HOW FAR IS THE OCEAN? — belatedbloomer

Beautiful!

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