Search

Create Space

Creating, living, learning.

Category

Awareness

Bullying & Beyond… It only takes one…

20180708_110930
Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

It only takes one bully to wreak havoc on a child’s life.

But likewise it only takes one mother to start a hope-filled conversation about bullying for things to change for the better!

This post was prompted by Cee’s photo prompt; the topic was 1 Item or the Number One.

Cee’s Fun Foto Challenge: 1 Item or the Number One

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Connected or corrected…

Today a father and his little son were walking along a quiet street approaching a corner.  The little boy, about three years old, made a dash away from his father towards the corner of the street.  We were driving towards the same corner.  My husband had already anticipated the possibilities and slowed down, well below the speed limit.

I saw the father of the little boy suddenly react. He ran a few steps and grabbed his son by the arm, just at the edge of the path.  He aggressively jerked his son’s little arm a number of times, loudly chastising him as we drove past.  I thought about how many times I had near misses when my children were young and I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears.

This child had done something wrong, but he is a child and still learning.  The mistake he made could have meant he was seriously injured or even worse, had he actually dashed off the street and onto the road in front of our car.

I thought about who needs to be corrected here.  Nobody trains us to be parents.  After fourteen years in school we leave without any training or qualification in childcare.  But when a parent walks along a quiet street with a three year old child, and pays more attention to their phone screen than to their child, then it’s not the child that needs to be corrected!

So, if you have a near one with your child, think about who needs to learn from the experience and if you’re ready to jump in and chastise your child, think about what message you are giving them…

Instead, I encourage you to calm yourself. Kneel down to their height, hug them to you, tell them you love them.  Then look them in the eye and tell them about the fright you got, talk about the rules of the road and about the danger of dashing off the path onto the road and then sit back and think…

Thank your lucky stars that you are still a parent…

and that you still have time to enhance your parenting skills…

because no matter how much attention you give your phone screen…

Google, Ecosia or any other search will not take away the heartbreak or show you how to bring your little son back to life.

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

Monday’s Memory Lane… 3.Scatter

20161101_123947
Our thoughts and words may scatter but they always land. Make sure your words are ones you’ll be proud of…

 

Welcome to Monday’s memory lane where I share an old post…

In this post Scatter your thoughts…

I pondered the impact of our thoughts when they transform into words…

As we age, we change how we think, how we feel and how we behave. We drop old habits and seek out new. Enjoy scattering your thoughts…some go unseen and blow away on the breeze but some nourish the ground they fall on.

What thoughts and words have you scattered today? Are they ones you’ll be proud of?

Le grá,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday’s Memory Lane…2. Measure

Welcome to Monday’s memory lane where I share an old post…

20180805_080643
Let your dreams soar…unmeasured!

 

In this post I considered the word “Measure”…

A common noun, a thing, a word with a lot of meanings such as the size or quantity of something. It can also mean a unit of size or quantity, such as the size of our home or the quantity or amount of friends we are blessed with. Measure can also mean extent, the range over which something extends; its area, such as the ground our home covers or the extent to which we can depend on our friends or them on us. Measure can also mean action taken, law or even be applied to poetry as poetical rhythm.

So if one word can have so many meanings and mean so many different things, surely, that’s all the more reason to be measured in the words we use and the things we say.

How often do we stop and measure what we are about to say before we rush headlong into saying it without thought of the consequences.

Has life always been measured or depending on your social standing, not measured at all? Are we either highly valued or of no value?

Do we measure ourselves only by comparing ourselves to others? I envy your attitude, your ability to remain positive in the face of adversity. What a measured put-down and denial of our own measure.

Just check out social media if you are unsure of how you measure yourself. To what extent is our success, popularity and acceptance measured by the number of likes, shares, followers and retweets achieved?

https://wordpress.com/post/ree-creates.com/427

What does ‘Measure’ mean to you?

Le grá,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

Flashback Friday… ‘Sin Bin’

Last night I caught myself…not in the nick of time, but certainly in time to reduced my time in the ‘Sin Bin!’  You might wonder whether I am a rugby player but I can confirm that is certainly not the case!

When I say ‘Sin Bin‘ I am referring to being caught up in an upsetting incident or any emotional state where suffering is happening.

Here’s an outline…Last night I made an assumption that ‘somebody’ was going to do something for me to support me.  I expected them to be there for me.

So I was shocked when I didn’t get the support I expected. I got a ‘No’.  And oh boy, my child-self jumped at the chance to act up!  I went silent and I sulked. I gave out a little too. I opted for an early night in bed; to run away from the problem…but as I was preparing for bed thankfully I realised,…I became aware…that I had made an assumption of support. I hadn’t asked in plain English for what I needed.  The fractured communication meant that ‘someone’ was not fully aware of what I needed.  As a result they had made alternative plans.  I realised, that just as I had a right to ask and expect…they had an equal right to say ‘No’ and expect a mature acceptance.

Thankfully by realising; by becoming aware, I got myself out of the ‘Sin Bin‘ after a short period of time. I saved myself a lot of emotional upset and physical pain.  I remember back to a previous post where it took a long time suffering before logic returned. If you wish, read about that learning journey here Wise or otherwise?

I am so grateful that I have grown and learned from that experience. I am grateful to constantly be developing my awareness. I am grateful to be reminded of the importance of clear communication.

Realising that although I am there a lot for ‘someone,’ doesn’t mean they have to be there for me and if I only give of myself expecting a return then that’s not true, unselfish giving.  That is conditional giving…giving on condition of a return!

I hope you found my reflection helpful. I would love to hear your comments or any experience where you grew in awareness.

Much love,

Marie xx

My wish for you today…

20161101_123947

My wish for you today… is that you, like me, find the greatest adventures in the simple things, like having a car picnic or watching the wind scattering leaves like confetti, across your lawn!

20161029_144412

In what simple things do you find the greatest adventure?

Much love,

Marie xx

“Selfie,” a snapshot of awareness and of choice…

Could a “Selfie” help us develop the power of awareness and of choice…?

20180710_105751

Recently I was sitting waiting outside a Health Centre where people can access GP and Welfare support.

A young mother came out of the building with a baby girl of about 18 months on her hip and she also had a young boy of about 6.  I heard them talking and was amazed to hear the little boy say “life is tough”…so mature I thought and philosophical for someone so young!

Whether his words brought home the reality of the situation to her or maybe for some other reason she started shouting and giving out to her little boy to get into their car.

As she strapped her younger child into the car-seat, she continued to verbally abuse her little boy and I was horrified to see her raise her arm at him as she leaned across the car towards him, invading his personal space, physically threatening him. I felt sick to my core.  I thought she was going to physically strike him.

I wanted to jump out of my car but… I paused.  I took a “Selfie.”  Not a physical “Selfie”  but a psychological “Selfie.”  I recalled from my counselling studies the golden rule of “Do no harm”  and I made a conscious choice reminding myself that this lady was too emotional to view my interference as anything other than that.

My “Selfie” reminded me of the knock-on effect my interference could have for her children if I fired her up even more.  I felt sad for that little boy, sad for his day being ruined and sad for a future ruined, always wondering what he did wrong, always trying to please. I felt sad for that baby girl emotionally upset but not even able to voice that upset.

But my “Selfie” also helped me choose not to judge that young mother.  I was not privy to her own upbringing or her present environment and the impact of both on her. I didn’t know the events that led her to this emotional state or way of behaving.  I could only hope that the GP or the Welfare Officer were looking after her to the best of their professional capacity and helping her overcome any issues that were driving her behaviour.

I wanted to reach out, to help her break the cycle.  If she could pause, mid-upset to just take a “Selfie” I believed, it could be the key to awareness and choice.  It could help prevent her two children travelling this same weary, frightening, soul-destroying road.

I wanted her to become aware of the innate power of choice which she has.  She may not have the power to solve her problems, at least not in this present moment, but she has the power to choose her attitude, her reaction, her behaviour.  I wanted to give her the power of a “Selfie” a snapshot of awareness and of choice.

Much love,

Marie xx

How to Spot an Emotional Bully — MakeItUltra™

Bullying is a topic close to my heart because both my children experienced bullying.

This informative post makes for excellent reading and maybe even for some self-reflection!

Learn to spot the behaviours emotional bullies employ.  Armed with knowledge and awareness of how others and… dare we admit it… even how we ourselves behave, then we are empowered to bring about positive change in our lives!

Much love,

Marie xx

 

By Dr. Perry, PhD “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” ~Anonymous I wish the above quote was true. Unless we are a machine or lack human emotions, words and actions have a profound effect on the way we feel about ourselves and the world around us. In our current society, […]

via How to Spot an Emotional Bully  — MakeItUltra™

Remember to Forget…

Remembering to forget is probably one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

Whether it is that you need to…

Forget that they weren’t there for you,

Forget that they didn’t understand,

Forget that the system failed you,

Forget that they told you that you needed to be more resilient,

Or

Forget that they didn’t think before they spoke unhelpful words…

20180526_165841
Emma’s little piece of handiwork, a new-found talent. Being lost in flow is a great way to forget about having to remember to forget!

 

Just know that you were good enough as you were and that likewise it was also the best they had to give at that time.

Accept the situation as it was and look deep inside to adapt and improve yourself.  Don’t live on your expectations of them…

Enhance your now…remember to forget.

Just forget!

Much love,

Marie xx

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑