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Hi... failte (Irish for welcome! and pronounced fall-thhha). I'm a newbie to blogging, here just over a year, but what a great year it has been! I've turned the corner to 50 recently and two things become more relevant...time and experiences! Material possessions are less important! Using time wisely and truly experiencing each day holds a new significance for me! If you wish..., a little of the back story... I''m blessed to be married to a kind and loving man for 28 years, we have two children now 19 and 21. As I approached 40 and searching for something more, whilst holding down my then part-time legal secretarial work, I trained as a voluntary adult literacy tutor, with the hope of helping adults improve their literacy skills and have a second, and better experience of learning! However, little did I think that wanting to help others improve their lives would see my own life improve beyond measure also! You see for years I found it difficult to know what to do as I watched our two children suffer at the hands of bullies. Their struggle began to change when I returned to education! Through education I slowly gained valuable knowledge, I grew in confidence and self-esteme and it had a ripple effect! By 2014, aged 47 I had completed a Higher Certificate in Literacy Development and a B.A. in Adult Education. I love my work as an adult educator, particularly when adults trust me enough to let down their defences and 'let me in'. Then I can help them by getting to know what makes them 'tic' and what 'lights their fire!'. As an added bonus along the way I've realised that I also have a love of writing and that writing is cathartic (providing psychological relief through written expression of built up emotions), both for my students and myself. This blog enables me to pursue that new-found interest and I've really enjoying reading your blogs, sharing comments, getting to know so many people and gaining new perspectives. I also like to share any little 'gems' of learning I've gathered along the way! Thanks for sharing your stories and for helping me realise that it is all possible...and that together we write a truly better story! Much love, Marie x

Bullying & Beyond…An exciting future!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

With a new goal in mind, I’ve had to reluctantly decide to refrain from writing new blog posts, for the immediate future.  To keep my blog active I am instead going to re-run my existing posts.

I’ve had to come to this decision so I can dedicate time to my writing project.

I am in the process of compiling my Bullying & Beyond posts into a book.  To give adequate time to this project I have to be proactive in managing my health (due to the challenges of living with CFS/Fibromyalgia, as anyone living with a chronic illness will understand).

I’ve really appreciated your constant company while I shared my Bullying & Beyond posts.

Your friendship, encouraging comments and shared experiences have played a huge role in helping me overcome the pain of supporting our children through school bullying and has enabled me to reclaim my voice and write about our experience. I am so grateful to all of you for this gift!

If you would like to share any information about supports available in your area or if you would like to research any bullying prevention and intervention resources that are relevant to where you live I would be delighted to hear from you and look forward to your participation.

I hope you will continue to keep me company and continue to share your thoughts with me.  I will of course reply to any comments received!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Feb, 2020.

This was my first post in my Bullying & Beyond series…Bullying & Beyond…Take Heart!

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Bullying & Beyond…this is the reality

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

Trigger alert…this post is upsetting.

Lives are destroyed by bullying.

Children’s mental, emotional and psychological health damaged not only in the short-term but often into the long-term.

Lives are lost, too often, to bullying.  Children unable to cope with the torture inflicted on them by bullies sadly see no way out, other than to take their lives.

I might be writing this from Ireland and this story may refer to Yarraka Bayles, a boy on the other side of the world but the location is irrelevant… bullying is bullying and this is the reality for another child and another family. It is a horrific, upsetting reality.

This bullying is focused on dwarfism.  But if it wasn’t about dwarfism it would be about anything else the bully decided they didn’t like about their victim such as their weight or even their accent.  Take a few moments to educate yourself and then take a few moments to educate your children… because this is a reality that is totally avoidable and it is a reality no child or parents deserve!
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
26

Bullying & Beyond…a viral effect

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

Learning to use the Internet safely is an important skill.  Making children aware that anything they share, can be copied by taking a screenshot or a photo of it, and shared with people they never intended to see it.  Parents and teachers can make opportunities to talk to children about online photo sharing and how easily it can get out of hand.  Children benefit when they become more responsible in their photo sharing practices.

Try this exercise and talk to your children about the result you discover!

1. You have a photo        =          1 photo

2. You share it with just 20 pals    1 x 20 = 20 shares

3. That 20 share with 20 pals   20 x 20= 400 shares

4.These 400 share with 20 more = 8,000 shares

5. 8,000 share with 20 pals = 160,000 shares

6. 160,000 share with 20 more = 3,200,000

7. 3,200,000 share with just 20 more friends =

64,000,000

Within a very short period of time, the ONE photo you shared has been viewed and shared 64 million times.

This is called a viral effect because the photo has spread like a virus… luckily you were proud of the photo and you chose to share it!

Imagine if the opposite was the case!

What if you hated the photo or it was a nasty message posted by a bully and you were embarrassed by it?

Imagine if it was shared without your consent!

How would it make you feel?  Discuss with your children how individuals can deal with being bullied, or what they can do if they know that others are being bullied or if an individual is being the bully.  Remind children of the definition of cyber bullying…

“Placing a once-off offensive or hurtful public message, image or statement on a social network site or other public forum where that message, image or statement can be viewed and/or repeated by other people will be regarded as bullying behaviour.”

Anti-Bullying Procedures for Primary and Post primary Schools (2013, 2.1)

Source adapted from MySelfie and the wider world.

Have you or your children ever shared an image and been surprised by the attention it received?  Has cyber bullying been an issue for you?  What emotions were involved in that cyber bullying situation and what strategies did you develop to help you or your children cope effectively?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

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Father Figure: Free Kindle Download from 2/10 thru 2/14 — This Is My Truth Now

Father Figure is a FREE download from 2/10 thru 2/14 – help yourselves! Thank you so much for your support in sharing, downloading, reading, and reviewing. I appreciate it! Download @ http://mybook.to/FatherFigure Overview of Father Figure Between the fast-paced New York City, a rural Mississippi town and a charming Pennsylvania college campus filled with secrets,…

via Father Figure: Free Kindle Download from 2/10 thru 2/14 — This Is My Truth Now

What a lovely offer from This Is My Truth Now!  Treat yourself or a loved one for VALENTINE’S DAY – for free!

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Bullying & Beyond…You can make a difference

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

The following “Tips for a better internet together” offers some very practical advice which I’d encourage parents and guardians to discuss with their children.  These simple tips could make a big difference to someone who is experiencing bullying.

“1. Reach out to someone you know is being bullied.  A simple message of support, a like, or a smile can be enough to give hope to someone who feels alone.

2. Include someone you see being isolated.  Invite them to sit with you at lunch, include them in a chat, share jokes with them.

3.  Make a clear statement that you think bullying is unacceptable and not just another part of growing up.  Sharing or liking anti-bullying messages on social networks is a simple way of doing this.  You might even go further and create your own.

4.  Say ‘No’ or ‘Stop’ when you see someone behaving unfairly.  Standing up takes real courage but not doing it is the same as giving your permission for someone to be bullied.

5.  Get help from an adult if you think that standing up to a bully might put you at risk of being hurt or becoming the next target.  You might not always be able to fix things without putting yourself at risk, but you can always do the right thing – and that means getting help.  In fact telling a parent or teacher is usually the moment when the situation stops getting worse and starts being dealt with.

6. Report it.  All good schools and clubs have ways for you to report bullying incidents.  Find out what they are and use them.  You can also click the report abuse button on websites like Facebook and Twitter.  They all have to take reports seriously and remember they won’t reveal the identity of the person making the report.

7.  Don’t bully back no matter how angry you feel.  You should never accept bullying but don’t cross the line and bully the bully.  It’s ok to point out that the bullying should stop but it’s not ok to send abusive messages in retaliation.  It makes it more difficult to get help from your school.  They might even end up punishing you too.”

Source: http://www.webwise.ie

MySelfie and the wider world

Webwise Primary Anti-Cyber Bullying Teachers’ Handbook

What advice do you give your children if they see someone being bullied?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

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Bullying & Beyond…Acceptance & Resistance

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

The turning point came, the day I learned to accept our son John’s inability to attend school or to live a functioning life.  His life had become dysfunctional because of school bullying.  I shared some of the backstory in Bullying & Beyond… Painting the pain, part three.

Learning to accept his dysfunction as a result of bullying, was a slow process but it was the catalyst for change which allowed him to break free of his dysfunction and move forward with his life.  I shared that in Bullying & Beyond… “Acceptance”, Love & Time.

Our daughter Emma also suffered at the hands of bullies and sadly we are, to this day, still dealing with the aftermath.

It has been a struggle to stay strong and be resilient.  It was often one step forward and two steps back.

But yesterday I remembered the power of acceptance and I let go resistance.  I see yesterday as two steps forward and one step back and that is progress, it is a sign of change to come…

Let me try to explain…

We attempted to drive to Newbridge to visit Newbridge Silverware’s Doris Day exhibition.  You might like to learn about this wonderful event here… https://visitnewbridgesilverware.com/doris-day

We got half way there when Emma could no longer contain her anxiety.

Yesterday was our second attempt, the first attempt we achieved about a third of the journey so yesterday there was progress.

But the biggest progress for me was remembering my ‘acceptance‘ of John’s dysfunction, thanks to the reminder of my Psychologist to let go ‘resistance,’

I was able to make peace with this event and love Emma for herself.  She did her best. We did our best. We sat in our car, in a service station, having a coffee while Emma took a short walk and some air.  We made peace with the situation.  We were truly grateful and expressed our gratitude for that time, that moment, having coffee, having family time, living life to the best we can.

We turned for home with no regrets or upset or shattered expectations but with happy hearts and later last night, Emma announced that she wants to try again next Saturday!

This exhibition means a lot to Emma.  She adores Doris Day and that entire era.  She is training her dog, named ‘Doris’ after Doris Day, to be the first recognised Psychiatric Assistance Dog in Ireland.  She is pushing politicians to recognise this existing EU law, in Ireland.  It is a slow process. I would love you to give her some support as she shares her IG account at dorismakesmyday.

I shared some of Emma & Doris’ backstory in Petition please support…Bullying & Beyond… Painting the Pain, Part II

If you are relatively new here, thank you for reading.  Thank you to my regular readers for your comforting presence as we journey and learn life lessons together.  Your company makes all the difference.

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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Reblog…Useful Well-being Apps — Improve My Well-being

There are many different ways to improve our well-being. Apps provide a convenient and accessible alternative for those who are on the move or simply prefer interactive technology over more traditional methods. With so many well-being ideas out there where do you start? Below are seven of my favourite tried and tested low cost or […]

via Useful Well-being Apps — Improve My Well-being

If we want to change for the better something has to change and this might be a good place to start…

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Bullying & Beyond…Dealing with Cyberbullying

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

School bullying, particularly cyberbullying is very upsetting.  Parents can’t afford to sit back and avoid educating themselves about cyber/online bullying.

A good place to start, is with this simple advice on Dealing with Cyberbullying.

1.DON’T REPLY TO MESSAGES that harass or annoy you.  Even though you may really want to, this is exactly what the sender wants.  They want to know that they’ve got you worried or upset.

2.  KEEP THE MESSAGE  You don’t have to read it, but keep it.  If you keep getting messages that upset you, you will need to have evidence in order to get help.

3.  BLOCK THE SENDER  You don’t need to put up with somebody harassing you.  Simply click the ‘block’ button.

4.  TELL SOMEBODY YOU TRUST  Talking to your friends, parents, a teacher you trust, or guidance counsellor is usually the first step in dealing with any issue.  If you need to talk to someone straight away please call Childline on 1800 66 66 66.

Have you or your children experenced school bullying or cyberbullying? Is so, how did you deal with it?

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

A resource of the National Centre for Technology in Education – Professional Development Service for Teachers

Available at webwise primary pdf

 

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New Year, New Goal… Saving Money in the New Year — Simply Chronically Ill

OK, so I am not officially back blogging yet, but I did want to take a moment to announce that for the month of January I have lowered the price of my book, Frugal Seeds 501 Ways to Make, Save or Stretch a Dollar, in both print and ebook form. This book shares many […]

via Saving Money in the New Year — Simply Chronically Ill

Yesterday I wrote about “501” followers, you can read that post here Write for One or 501…

Today Wendy’s post caught my eye because she mentioned “501” ways to save money and at a reduced price.  Some great tips to start the New Year & New Decade!

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

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