Bullying & Beyond…this is the reality

20180708_110930 — Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

Trigger alert…this post is upsetting.

Lives are destroyed by bullying.

Children’s mental, emotional and psychological health damaged not only in the short-term but often into the long-term.

Lives are lost, too often, to bullying. Children unable to cope with the torture inflicted on them by bullies sadly see no way out, other than to take their lives.

I might be writing this from Ireland and this story may refer to Yarraka Bayles, a boy on the other side of the world but the location is irrelevant… bullying is bullying and this is the reality for another child and another family. It is a horrific, upsetting reality.

This bullying is focused on dwarfism. But if it wasn’t about dwarfism it would be about anything else the bully decided they didn’t like about their victim such as their weight or even their accent. Take a few moments to educate yourself and then take a few moments to educate your children… because this is a reality that is totally avoidable and it is a reality no child or parents deserve!

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-51590984

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

Create Space

Hi... failte (Irish for welcome! and pronounced fall-thhha). I'm a newbie to blogging, here just over a year, but what a great year it has been! I've turned the corner to 50 recently and two things become more relevant...time and experiences! Material possessions are less important! Using time wisely and truly experiencing each day holds a new significance for me! If you wish..., a little of the back story... I''m blessed to be married to a kind and loving man for 28 years, we have two children now 19 and 21. As I approached 40 and searching for something more, whilst holding down my then part-time legal secretarial work, I trained as a voluntary adult literacy tutor, with the hope of helping adults improve their literacy skills and have a second, and better experience of learning! However, little did I think that wanting to help others improve their lives would see my own life improve beyond measure also! You see for years I found it difficult to know what to do as I watched our two children suffer at the hands of bullies. Their struggle began to change when I returned to education! Through education I slowly gained valuable knowledge, I grew in confidence and self-esteme and it had a ripple effect! By 2014, aged 47 I had completed a Higher Certificate in Literacy Development and a B.A. in Adult Education. I love my work as an adult educator, particularly when adults trust me enough to let down their defences and 'let me in'. Then I can help them by getting to know what makes them 'tic' and what 'lights their fire!'. As an added bonus along the way I've realised that I also have a love of writing and that writing is cathartic (providing psychological relief through written expression of built up emotions), both for my students and myself. This blog enables me to pursue that new-found interest and I've really enjoying reading your blogs, sharing comments, getting to know so many people and gaining new perspectives. I also like to share any little 'gems' of learning I've gathered along the way! Thanks for sharing your stories and for helping me realise that it is all possible...and that together we write a truly better story! Much love, Marie x

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February 23, 2020

Bullying, Children, Families

Abuse, Awareness, Bullies, Bullying, Children, Conversations, Courage, Deliberate, Destruction, Education, Emotional, Family, Health, Hope, Hurt, Information, Isolation, Learning, Loneliness, Mental health, Mission, Nationalities, Openess, Pain, Parents, Powerlessness, Resilience, Respect, School, Silence, Stress, Suicide, Teachers, Victims, Visceral

26 thoughts on “Bullying & Beyond…this is the reality”

artyplantsman
February 22, 2020 at 9:45 pm

I had heard this story Marie but had not read it because I know (as you do) how much of a trigger these stories are for me. However, I have just followed the link and read the story and am grateful to you for your compassion and your work in airing the topic. It is such a horrible story and my heart goes out to the poor lad.

LikeLiked by 4 people
- Create Space
  February 22, 2020 at 9:54 pm
  
  Thank you so much Darren, for having the courage and compassion to read and empathise! It is so distressing to see a child tormented. My heart breaks for this family and every family who does not know how to deal with or solve the upset of bullying and for every child who struggles with school bullying and is denied respect and the right to live their lives true to themselves.
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
calmkate
February 22, 2020 at 11:27 pm

thanks for airing this Marie … I had just posted a heart rending poem about family domestic violence and the murders that are happening here so couldn’t really distress my readers with another heart wrenching hit 😦

LikeLiked by 2 people
- Create Space
  February 23, 2020 at 8:25 am
  
  Thank you for the link Kate. I hadn’t heard of it but it is heartbreaking to think an innocent child of 9 should feel so distressed that he would even consider suicide. Xx
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  - calmkate
    February 23, 2020 at 9:15 am
    
    too many complete that thought … his mother was both smart and brave to post that video. He is now getting much more support and I pray it turns his life around!
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  - Create Space
    February 23, 2020 at 9:18 am
    
    Speaking up and speaking out both vital in combatting bullying! Hopefully this is a turning point!
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  - calmkate
    February 23, 2020 at 10:22 am
    
    I pray so but our indigenous people suffer massive racism here, let alone being a dwarf as well …
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  - Create Space
    February 23, 2020 at 10:52 am
    
    That’s so sad Kate and all we can do is play our own part, be an upstander not a bystander! X
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  - calmkate
    February 23, 2020 at 8:50 pm
    
    that’s exactly what I do, I’m quite involved with the Elders 🙂
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
Liz
February 23, 2020 at 6:44 pm

Yes, I came across this story earlier and it was so heartbreaking to read.

LikeLiked by 1 person
- Create Space
  February 23, 2020 at 8:02 pm
  
  Thank you Liz for reading and sharing the impact it had on you. Please consider sharing the story or talking about it, to raise awareness of the life threatening damage caused by bullying. Le grà, Marie
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
simplywendi
February 23, 2020 at 7:25 pm

I did not read the story as I was afraid it might upset me too much. I was bullied as a child and my kids have also experienced it…….you are right, people have no idea how this affects the children and the family as a whole. I just do not understand why bullying is done. I mean I have studied it, but to my soul, it just makes no sense.

LikeLiked by 2 people
- Create Space
  February 23, 2020 at 10:33 pm
  
  Thank you Wendi for reading and for sharing your experience. I am sorry that you have had to suffer the pain of bullying and that your children were subjected to bullying also. You are well placed to empathise fully with the horrible upset it causes in a home and the damage it causes and leaves in its aftermath. I’m glad you chose not to read or watch the Youtube video, it is a wise decision to protect your mental health. I would encourage you to talk about bullying and the damage it causes or share the story to raise awareness among those lucky enough to have escaped bullying. We can all make a difference and help prevent bullying. Le gra, Marie
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
  - simplywendi
    February 24, 2020 at 12:44 am
    
    thank you for understaning Marie. I will pray about this. There are just some things I still cannot talk about as it is just so terrifyingly painful.
    
    LikeLiked by 2 people
  - Create Space
    February 24, 2020 at 9:37 am
    
    I’ve been there Wendi so I fully understand how you feel. It took me two years of blogging in general before I could overcome the mental blocks that were so securely in place that allowed me write my first post on bullying. I have to say blogging is cathartic, sharing small tips twith the intention of helping others overcome bullying has helped me to move beyond the pain of bullying. It has helped me reflect, gain insights I had not had and consider new perspectives. Just listening as other bloggers shared their experiences with me has been a privilege. When we use our voice we regain our power; the power of voice stolen from us by bullies and bystanders.
    The most important thing for you at any moment is to do what sits right with you and your spiritual well-being. Le grà, Marie
    
    LikeLiked by 2 people
  - simplywendi
    February 24, 2020 at 7:57 pm
    
    God bless you Marie for understanding. Your deep understanding is a gift I have placed into my heart today. Thank you so very much……..
    
    LikeLiked by 2 people
  - Create Space
    February 24, 2020 at 8:39 pm
    
    Your appreciation and helping me see this strength in myself is your wonderful gift to me today. Thank you Wendi for your company on this journey. Everyday I feel blessed!
    
    LikeLiked by 2 people
  - simplywendi
    February 24, 2020 at 8:52 pm
    
    I am truly humbled by your words………thank you so very much.
    
    LikeLiked by 2 people
throughrosetintedglasses54
February 23, 2020 at 10:47 pm

Isnt it sad that in this day and age there is still so much cruelty. If only kindness could rule.

LikeLiked by 2 people
- Create Space
  February 23, 2020 at 11:35 pm
  
  It is so sad Alison but we can all make a difference, no matter how small. No child deserves to suffer at the hands of a bully. Thanks for reading and joining in the conversation!
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
Ann Coleman
February 24, 2020 at 3:34 am

Thanks, Marie, for your tireless efforts to confront and erase bullying. No one, adult or child, should have to deal with it as a part of their daily life.

LikeLiked by 1 person
- Create Space
  February 24, 2020 at 9:46 am
  
  And thank you Ann for your constant presence and encouraging words which I value highly as they motivate me to stay the course. My voice is small but even a small voice can contain a message that offers support, reassurance and hope for a better life beyond the pain and destruction of bullying. Le grà, Marie x
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
Terri, Reclaiming Hope
February 24, 2020 at 3:02 pm

I was watching the news the other day, and they were reporting on the outpouring of support for this young man once his Mom posted the video of him sobbing. They showed the video, and I found myself crying along with him. It is so disheartening to think that human beings can treat one another this way, and it’s especially troubling that it’s happening with our children.

LikeLiked by 2 people
- Create Space
  February 24, 2020 at 3:51 pm
  
  Hi Terri, thank you for sharing how upsetting this was for you, I felt likewise. It’s great that conversation is opened up and that funds have been raised to support Yarraka Bayles. Sadly bullies learn unproductive ways of meeting their need for belonging, love, attention and contributing and strive to feel powerful by taking power from others. The cost is always too high, leaving many adults still struggling today with bullying experienced in their childhood or worse still families left mourning the loss of a loved one. Xx
  
  LikeLiked by 2 people
artyplantsman
February 27, 2020 at 2:35 pm

Just read through the newer comments on here and felt I should say how lovely your community of followers are Marie. The world could do with more folks like them.

LikeLiked by 1 person
- Create Space
  February 27, 2020 at 10:19 pm
  
  Thank you for reading Darren and I couldn’t agree more! I feel grateful to have come to know so many genuine, warm and inclusive bloggers who really encourage me and just like you, care about the welfare of the victims of bullies.
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person

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