
The turning point came, the day I learned to accept our son John’s inability to attend school or to live a functioning life. His life had become dysfunctional because of school bullying. I shared some of the backstory in Bullying & Beyond… Painting the pain, part three.
Learning to accept his dysfunction as a result of bullying, was a slow process but it was the catalyst for change which allowed him to break free of his dysfunction and move forward with his life. I shared that in Bullying & Beyond… “Acceptance”, Love & Time.
Our daughter Emma also suffered at the hands of bullies and sadly we are, to this day, still dealing with the aftermath.
It has been a struggle to stay strong and be resilient. It was often one step forward and two steps back.
But yesterday I remembered the power of acceptance and I let go resistance. I see yesterday as two steps forward and one step back and that is progress, it is a sign of change to come…
Let me try to explain…
We attempted to drive to Newbridge to visit Newbridge Silverware’s Doris Day exhibition. You might like to learn about this wonderful event here… https://visitnewbridgesilverware.com/doris-day
We got half way there when Emma could no longer contain her anxiety.
Yesterday was our second attempt, the first attempt we achieved about a third of the journey so yesterday there was progress.
But the biggest progress for me was remembering my ‘acceptance‘ of John’s dysfunction, thanks to the reminder of my Psychologist to let go ‘resistance,’
I was able to make peace with this event and love Emma for herself. She did her best. We did our best. We sat in our car, in a service station, having a coffee while Emma took a short walk and some air. We made peace with the situation. We were truly grateful and expressed our gratitude for that time, that moment, having coffee, having family time, living life to the best we can.
We turned for home with no regrets or upset or shattered expectations but with happy hearts and later last night, Emma announced that she wants to try again next Saturday!
This exhibition means a lot to Emma. She adores Doris Day and that entire era. She is training her dog, named ‘Doris’ after Doris Day, to be the first recognised Psychiatric Assistance Dog in Ireland. She is pushing politicians to recognise this existing EU law, in Ireland. It is a slow process. I would love you to give her some support as she shares her IG account at dorismakesmyday.
I shared some of Emma & Doris’ backstory in Petition please support…Bullying & Beyond… Painting the Pain, Part II
If you are relatively new here, thank you for reading. Thank you to my regular readers for your comforting presence as we journey and learn life lessons together. Your company makes all the difference.
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
January 27, 2020 at 11:11 pm
Good for your Emma for volunteering to try again. I hope you get the whole way to Newbridge this time!
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January 28, 2020 at 3:10 pm
Thank you Laurie for reading and for your encouragement! Le grà, Marie
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January 28, 2020 at 4:20 am
wow that is big for Emma to have a third go, shows great determination!
Would doing the trip in installments help? Such as a coffee walk stop every 50 minutes or whatever or play spot games in the car eg count red cars or dog walkers. Or make up jokes from number plates … just thinking some form of distraction works wonders for most … you know what might help!
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January 28, 2020 at 3:14 pm
You’re right Kate, it does show determination and your suggestions might help so I’ll keep them in mind for Saturday. She is a huge fan of Doris Day and really hate to miss this chance of a lifetime so we’ll do all we can to get there!!
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January 28, 2020 at 9:07 pm
yea, good for her and great to have her parents championing her!
Distraction works wonders 🙂
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January 28, 2020 at 2:40 pm
Marie, I really had NO idea that the far reaching effects of inexcusable bullying could continue to plague a child into adulthood. I have been so ignorant in this blatantly violent behavior; words and/or physical assault on a victim. I applaud your efforts to keep this offensive behavior in the ‘light.’ More so I applaud your growth and ability to acknowledge it as such! Blessings to you and yours! Greetings Emma and Doris! ~Kim
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January 28, 2020 at 3:25 pm
Thank you Kim for your lovely thoughtful reply!! Emma was slightly anxious as a child, developes separation anxiety after a severe vomiting bug and hospitalisation at age 7, possible undiagnosed PTSD too but ongoing bullying, verbal, psychological and exclusion particularly, made school years very difficult for her, topped off by two physical assault incidents both in schools. It left her very self-conscious and socially anxious, which impact mental health. All any of us needs is to feel we belong. We have learned lots as a result but we are still learning and as you see from my post, re-learning!! Blessings Kim! Le grà, Marie xx
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January 28, 2020 at 3:51 pm
Blessings Marie. 💜
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January 29, 2020 at 4:13 pm
I will keep you all in my prayers. You must be so proud of both of your sweet children as they work through this horrific time…may peace be with you all. May Doris bring the light to Emma and may she succeed! I am sending love and light and prayers of healing to all of you Marie. You’re an amazing Mom and you inspire me and the rest of us reading your blog. xoxo
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January 29, 2020 at 6:43 pm
Only today I was reminded about the power of opening up to abundance and now tears threaten to well up, as I read your love filled message and realise the abundance already present in every aspect of my life! Thank you Janie for being an important part of that abundance. I count myself very lucky to have your love, prayers & support as we take baby steps raising awareness of the impact of bullying on mental health with a wish to live each moment to its best! xx
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January 31, 2020 at 12:38 am
I have tears in my eyes now from reading your response to me. You always have an abundance of friendship, support and love from me to you! I’m here for you! xoxo I’m proud to be your friend! ♥
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January 29, 2020 at 8:36 pm
Yes, acceptance is key to finding that inner peace, though it’s not always easy. Well done to Emma and to you all.
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January 29, 2020 at 10:41 pm
Thank you Miriam for reading and for your encouragement!
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January 31, 2020 at 11:11 am
I wish Emma all the very best for her next attempt! She is so lucky to have such a wonderful and encouraging mum! x
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January 31, 2020 at 3:39 pm
Thanks so much Darren! I hope you have a nice weekend. X
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January 31, 2020 at 2:32 pm
Thank you for sharing!!.. you are a wonderful family filled with love and though there may well be challenges ahead, I am sure you will overcome those obstacles and know “happily ever after”.. 🙂
“A home that is built with patience, understanding and love will withstand the strongest winds of difficulties and conflict , a home built with a closed mind, insincerity and haste will collapse in a mere breeze of discontent.” (Larry “Dutch” Woller )
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January 31, 2020 at 3:43 pm
Love your quote Dutch, very profound!
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