Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
Bullying is divided into six types…
Physical bullying
Verbal bullying
Exclusion
Cyber bullying
Gesture bullying
Extortion bullying
Physical bullying includes pushing, shoving, tripping, pinching, hitting, kicking or any unwanted harm to the victim’s body. Physical bullying can also include having your personal space invaded. It can include behaviour that is deliberately annoying like kicking the chair your child is sitting on, and refusing to stop when told to stop. It could involve damaging your child’s possessions, school bag, or stationery. It can include spitting on your child’s lunch, making sure it is not edible.
Verbal bullying is any name calling or slagging either behind the victim’s back or to their face. It includes vicious gossip or anything said to deliberately undermine the victim’s sense of self. Verbal bullying can be racist or homophobic in nature. Verbal bullying can leave long term emotional and psychological scars.
Exclusion is the deliberate isolation of your child and is a form of relational or emotional bullying which attempts to undermine your child’s social skills and social standing. It is probably the most frustrating form of bullying as your child can try to be physical and hit back or they can try to answer back but you cannot isolate back. This form of bullying can be very damaging to your child’s confidence and self-esteem.
Cyber bullying is the sharing of offensive text or images on a public forum or social media site to humiliate a victim, which can be commented on, liked or re-shared. It need only happen once to be considered cyber bullying. A one off offensive private message does not constitute bullying.
Gesture bullying involves non-verbal communication including facial expressions, hand gestures such as any threatening looks or hand signals meant to frighten and intimidate the victim.
Extortion includes any demands for money or items belonging to the victim. Your child may be forced to hand over their lunch, steal from other students or to steal school property.
Hi... failte (Irish for welcome! and pronounced fall-thhha).
I'm a newbie to blogging, here just over a year, but what a great year it has been!
I've turned the corner to 50 recently and two things become more relevant...time and experiences!
Material possessions are less important! Using time wisely and truly experiencing each day holds a new significance for me!
If you wish..., a little of the back story...
I''m blessed to be married to a kind and loving man for 28 years, we have two children now 19 and 21.
As I approached 40 and searching for something more, whilst holding down my then part-time legal secretarial work, I trained as a voluntary adult literacy tutor, with the hope of helping adults improve their literacy skills and have a second, and better experience of learning!
However, little did I think that wanting to help others improve their lives would see my own life improve beyond measure also!
You see for years I found it difficult to know what to do as I watched our two children suffer at the hands of bullies. Their struggle began to change when I returned to education! Through education I slowly gained valuable knowledge, I grew in confidence and self-esteme and it had a ripple effect!
By 2014, aged 47 I had completed a Higher Certificate in Literacy Development and a B.A. in Adult Education. I love my work as an adult educator, particularly when adults trust me enough to let down their defences and 'let me in'. Then I can help them by getting to know what makes them 'tic' and what 'lights their fire!'.
As an added bonus along the way I've realised that I also have a love of writing and that writing is cathartic (providing psychological relief through written expression of built up emotions), both for my students and myself. This blog enables me to pursue that new-found interest and I've really enjoying reading your blogs, sharing comments, getting to know so many people and gaining new perspectives. I also like to share any little 'gems' of learning I've gathered along the way!
Thanks for sharing your stories and for helping me realise that it is all possible...and that together we write a truly better story!
Much love,
Marie x
good list but I would also include mental bullying … the constant put downs and slights, manipulation and game playing … those insidious things that are not readily recognisable …
Thanks Kate, I think all bullying can be psychological and mentally damaging. Our reaction to bullying is what keeps it going but when we’re not the recipient it’s easy say don’t let it effect you mentally as the saying goes “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me”
having worked with abuse for decades I believe mental abuse is the most soul wrenching of all! And you are right they all disturb mentally but bruises will heal, words can be replaced with positive refrains … but the manipulative mind games go far deeper ..
I agree. All six types of bullying will affect the persons psyche one way or another. Gesture bullying was something I had to pause on because I wasn’t aware of it. We all make facial expressions. I guess it comes to the point on how aggressive one gets.
Very true Bernice, we can silence someone with a nasty look, across a room or classroom, without anyone else noticing. It can include hand gestures or making a motion with your hand that signifies slitting someone’s throat with a knife, all intimidating and upsetting for the victim. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Xx
Thank you for sharing!!.. there is another form that I often refer to as a form if bullying is ignoring someone, making the person somewhat similar to an outcast and alone, especially with groups… 🙂
Until we meet again…
May the dreams you hold dearest
Be those which come true
May the kindness you spread
Keep returning to you
(Irish Saying)
Thanks Dutch for reading and adding your thoughts to the conversation! We call the bullying I think you refer to ‘exclusion’. It is soul destroying to feel unwanted, isolated and unloved. I appreciate your sharing the lovely Irish Saying and likewise Dutch “May the kindness you spread
Keep returning to you!”
It’s so important to recognise all of these different ways bullies can assert themselves. I hadn’t come across gesture bullying, it makes sense to have that in a category of its own because it can be incredibly intimidating on its own. Sadly too many people face various combinations of these types. Fantastic post, Marie.
Caz xx
Thank you Caz! I totally agree that bullying often involves a combination of types which overwhelm the victim, breaking down their resilience over time. Xx
I have to agree that we had it much easier Mark. I think parents need to be assertive, setting firm boundaries around social media access and duration. Children can be protected from some of the distress of cyber bullying if they do not have access 24/7.
Thanks Kim, yes sadly it is unwanted negative behaviour, which is continuous or repeated over time, and there is always a power imbalance which makes it very difficult for the victim to stand up for themselves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Xx
This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. You can use them to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. Edit them in the Widget section of the Customizer.
November 16, 2019 at 9:11 pm
good list but I would also include mental bullying … the constant put downs and slights, manipulation and game playing … those insidious things that are not readily recognisable …
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 16, 2019 at 10:02 pm
Thanks Kate, I think all bullying can be psychological and mentally damaging. Our reaction to bullying is what keeps it going but when we’re not the recipient it’s easy say don’t let it effect you mentally as the saying goes “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me”
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 16, 2019 at 10:18 pm
having worked with abuse for decades I believe mental abuse is the most soul wrenching of all! And you are right they all disturb mentally but bruises will heal, words can be replaced with positive refrains … but the manipulative mind games go far deeper ..
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 16, 2019 at 11:35 pm
For sure, sadly some people never recover.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 20, 2019 at 3:22 am
I agree. All six types of bullying will affect the persons psyche one way or another. Gesture bullying was something I had to pause on because I wasn’t aware of it. We all make facial expressions. I guess it comes to the point on how aggressive one gets.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 20, 2019 at 11:09 pm
Very true Bernice, we can silence someone with a nasty look, across a room or classroom, without anyone else noticing. It can include hand gestures or making a motion with your hand that signifies slitting someone’s throat with a knife, all intimidating and upsetting for the victim. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 17, 2019 at 3:31 pm
This is very informative Marie…considering that bullying of any form is damaging to the well being of anyone who is a victim.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 17, 2019 at 6:16 pm
Thank you Mich for your visit and joining in the conversation!
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 17, 2019 at 3:56 pm
Thank you for sharing!!.. there is another form that I often refer to as a form if bullying is ignoring someone, making the person somewhat similar to an outcast and alone, especially with groups… 🙂
Until we meet again…
May the dreams you hold dearest
Be those which come true
May the kindness you spread
Keep returning to you
(Irish Saying)
LikeLike
November 17, 2019 at 6:22 pm
Thanks Dutch for reading and adding your thoughts to the conversation! We call the bullying I think you refer to ‘exclusion’. It is soul destroying to feel unwanted, isolated and unloved. I appreciate your sharing the lovely Irish Saying and likewise Dutch “May the kindness you spread
Keep returning to you!”
LikeLike
November 17, 2019 at 4:46 pm
It’s so important to recognise all of these different ways bullies can assert themselves. I hadn’t come across gesture bullying, it makes sense to have that in a category of its own because it can be incredibly intimidating on its own. Sadly too many people face various combinations of these types. Fantastic post, Marie.
Caz xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 17, 2019 at 6:56 pm
Thank you Caz! I totally agree that bullying often involves a combination of types which overwhelm the victim, breaking down their resilience over time. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 18, 2019 at 11:23 am
Cyberbullying is something my generation never had to deal with . . . the internet didn’t exist. I think it’s harder for kids nowadays in that regard.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 18, 2019 at 12:23 pm
I have to agree that we had it much easier Mark. I think parents need to be assertive, setting firm boundaries around social media access and duration. Children can be protected from some of the distress of cyber bullying if they do not have access 24/7.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 19, 2019 at 9:12 am
Very true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 28, 2019 at 4:25 am
I still shutter as I realize this behavior is practiced on our young BY our young. Informative. Heart breaking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 28, 2019 at 2:51 pm
Thanks Kim, yes sadly it is unwanted negative behaviour, which is continuous or repeated over time, and there is always a power imbalance which makes it very difficult for the victim to stand up for themselves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person