Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
I have been writing on the topic of bullying since late last year and I greatly appreciate all the support, encouragement and insightful feedback and comments which I have received to my Bullying & Beyond posts!
In order to access the most up to date information available on bullying and gain some insights and understanding of the Government’s education policy regarding the prevention of bullying, I decided to join a blended learning programme being offered by NABC; the National Anti Bullying Association of Ireland, entitled Bullying Prevention & Intervention Online Course for Teachers. It is a ten week online programme which also includes two face to face sessions in DCU, Dublin City University, St Patrick’s, Drumcondra, in Dublin.
And so, I would like to invite you to share your thoughts with me and in doing so, help me inform my answer to the first question we have been posed…
“What do you think are the greatest challenges teachers face when dealing with bullying behaviours?”
I look forward to your thought provoking responses!
Hi... failte (Irish for welcome! and pronounced fall-thhha).
I'm a newbie to blogging, here just over a year, but what a great year it has been!
I've turned the corner to 50 recently and two things become more relevant...time and experiences!
Material possessions are less important! Using time wisely and truly experiencing each day holds a new significance for me!
If you wish..., a little of the back story...
I''m blessed to be married to a kind and loving man for 28 years, we have two children now 19 and 21.
As I approached 40 and searching for something more, whilst holding down my then part-time legal secretarial work, I trained as a voluntary adult literacy tutor, with the hope of helping adults improve their literacy skills and have a second, and better experience of learning!
However, little did I think that wanting to help others improve their lives would see my own life improve beyond measure also!
You see for years I found it difficult to know what to do as I watched our two children suffer at the hands of bullies. Their struggle began to change when I returned to education! Through education I slowly gained valuable knowledge, I grew in confidence and self-esteme and it had a ripple effect!
By 2014, aged 47 I had completed a Higher Certificate in Literacy Development and a B.A. in Adult Education. I love my work as an adult educator, particularly when adults trust me enough to let down their defences and 'let me in'. Then I can help them by getting to know what makes them 'tic' and what 'lights their fire!'.
As an added bonus along the way I've realised that I also have a love of writing and that writing is cathartic (providing psychological relief through written expression of built up emotions), both for my students and myself. This blog enables me to pursue that new-found interest and I've really enjoying reading your blogs, sharing comments, getting to know so many people and gaining new perspectives. I also like to share any little 'gems' of learning I've gathered along the way!
Thanks for sharing your stories and for helping me realise that it is all possible...and that together we write a truly better story!
Much love,
Marie x
as a non-teacher but aware of current policies/behaviours I would suggest …
1. hearing and believing genuine complaints
2. acting against the perp not the victim
3. cease the bullying that so many teachers already inflict setting a bad example!
Sorry if I’m off mark but this is my personal observation …
Thank you Kate for these thought provoking points.
1, yes to this! Listening skills, awareness and empathy are the answer The challenge being sometimes teachers can’t listen because victims don’t speak out because they are silenced by an environment that is not explicitly bully free and free of the fear of retaliation. Creating a safe environment – zero tolerance of bullying is essential.
2. Yes, the victim needs to be saved any further distress. The bully needs to be left in no doubt that their behaviour will not be tolerated and remedial supports need to be put in place.
3. Agreed. CPD for teachers, that highlight the distress and damage caused by bullying, often as a result of the gap between the approach they espouse to use and the actual teaching approach they employ.
Any thoughts Kate, on the above are welcome. Thabks again for your ongoing interest in this emotive and damaging issue. Xx
A very good point Kate, I can definitely empathise with that struggle and also offer support thanks to doing the job I do, being a literacy tutor. If I’m offered a key word or suggestion even that’s enough and I can build on it! Also life is too short to worry about spelling mistakes, I make lots of them myself, but it doesn’t limit me or define me as a person. We are more than our literacy level!
You have obviously worked hard improving your literacy Kate, as I’d never have guessed! Yes for sure it takes time and trust in the receiver and confidence, which comes with patience and practice. Xx
I have installed a special spell check for my mac … also the reason I asked about counting syllables, I really don’t have a clue … devices have helped heaps 🙂
Not an easy one to answer but I’d say the first problem would be to identify the issue and not receiving the adequate support and positive reinforcement from the family. It starts at the home since many of the bullying may be over social media/cell phones.
Some great points there Bernice. Yes, identifying, noticing or becoming aware of the issue is a big challenge. Having a whole community approach, which sees parents, school non teaching staff and even school bus drivers informed and aware of what bullying is and of strategies to prevent it is very important too. And yes, some of it was via social media in our home where we thought Emma was safe but soon learned otherwise. Thanks for joining the conversation Berniece, every voice makes a difference! Xx
I’m not sure if this makes sense or is applicable. But, here goes. I’m in school again. At 58, I’m in school (oy). The classes I’m taking are french language at a university and the class is made up of international students from all around the globe. I sit in front of the class because of my eyesight (my husband sits in the back). Normally, two young girls from Asia sit beside me. I’ve grown close to them as I think they see me as somewhat of a mother figure. It’s been lovely but that’s not the issue. Two other girls sit in the row behind us. When the girls from Asia left the class for a few minutes, the two girls behind me started talking (loudly) and mocking the girls that left the room. Everyone could hear them and most people in the class understand english, the language they were using. I looked toward the teacher who simply shrugged. After class, I pulled aside and spoke with one of the girls who was doing the mocking, encouraging her to be kind and accepting. I’m not sure why the teacher would not intervene. Maybe she was young as well or maybe she felt uncomfortable doing so? I think she should have waited until after class and pulled them aside. To let it go without addressing the situation is wrong and encourages that type of behavior to happen again. Anyway, that’s my thought. I hope you enjoy the programme, Marie. It’s a wonderful thing you are going. Keep up the great work!!
Brenda, you will never realise how much I appreciate your encouragement this morning. I feel blessed to have come to know you and am delighted that you share your story. My first thought is did your classes begin with some Ice breakers, to help you all know each other a little better? 2nd query did the teacher work on a mutually agreed Class Contract, where students identify what they need for the class to be a happy, productive, encouraging space? Drawing up a set of ground rules is essential. Things like one voice at a time, support and encourage each other, respect at all times, compete against ourselves not others are just a few that spring to mind. A class that has these ground rules in place can easily be reminded of them when difficulties arise, such as the obvious disrespect you describe. It comes down to the teacher to set the tone and expectation of the class. I once had an incident where one student was being smart, passing comment on another person, without singling the bully out, I quickly pointed out that as part of my training in psychology, I learned that we often put others down in order to build ourselves up and cover the weaknesses we feel. I was at risk of facing a report to my manager, but it was worth it, the bully never undermined another student again in my class. I also make it well known that respect is the cornerstone of all our interactions and once we have respect we don’t even need any other class ground rules. Your teacher may be young but she needs to manage her classroom and ensure it does not happen again. I applaud your intervention, if only more people were willing to stand up to bullying what a much nicer place it would be. Xx
At the beginning of the semester, another teacher did an introduction game. It was language focused and not relational focused. We were learning introduction words (I am, I come from, etc.) so the answer to your question is “no” the teacher didn’t conduct any sort of “get to know each other” games. Which is a shame as we are all very diverse, from all parts of the globe. The course is not very organized so there was no class contract or anything like that. Your method of handling a classroom with diverse peoples sounds wonderful. I wish you were our teacher! =)
Thank you, Marie, for your kind comments. They made my day! I wish you well for the upcoming week. My daughter is visiting for a week and we’re off traveling tomorrow for a couple of days.
I feel happy knowing I had a role in making your day a positive one Brenda. I hope you enjoy special time together with your daughter travelling! I have mid term break and we drive a 500km round trip to Sligo to visit John for a day, so it will be a lovely week! Have you tried out Duolingo, an excellent language learning app. Xx
I think the teacher & school/learning centre are missing out on a wonderful opportunity to encourage & develop inter personal skills and awareness of the beauty of diversity. And countries wonder why there are ugly incidents of racial prejudice. Thanks for sharing such interesting insights. Xx
Thank you for sharing!… Of course, I have not been a teacher and therefore have not been a teacher that has to deal with bullying in the school but I believe an important thing is the teacher has community support with the efforts to deal with bullying… and not have to deal with bullying as an individual and have to deal with the school and community politics as well.. 🙂
Until we meet again..
May the sun shine all day long
Everything go right, nothing go wrong
May those you love bring love back to you
May all the wishes you wish come true
May peace be within you
May your heart be strong
May you find whatever you’re seeking
Wherever you may roam
(Irish Saying)
I agree Dutch that support for teachers is vital. Actually, of the 9 key principles in the Anti-bullying procedures for primary and post-primary schools, support for staff should be the foundation principle on which all 8 other principles are built.
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October 11, 2019 at 10:56 pm
as a non-teacher but aware of current policies/behaviours I would suggest …
1. hearing and believing genuine complaints
2. acting against the perp not the victim
3. cease the bullying that so many teachers already inflict setting a bad example!
Sorry if I’m off mark but this is my personal observation …
LikeLiked by 3 people
October 12, 2019 at 12:42 pm
Thank you Kate for these thought provoking points.
1, yes to this! Listening skills, awareness and empathy are the answer The challenge being sometimes teachers can’t listen because victims don’t speak out because they are silenced by an environment that is not explicitly bully free and free of the fear of retaliation. Creating a safe environment – zero tolerance of bullying is essential.
2. Yes, the victim needs to be saved any further distress. The bully needs to be left in no doubt that their behaviour will not be tolerated and remedial supports need to be put in place.
3. Agreed. CPD for teachers, that highlight the distress and damage caused by bullying, often as a result of the gap between the approach they espouse to use and the actual teaching approach they employ.
Any thoughts Kate, on the above are welcome. Thabks again for your ongoing interest in this emotive and damaging issue. Xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
October 12, 2019 at 8:47 pm
they are the main ones that I can think of and you have nutted the finer details out thanks! Looking forward to reading others responses …
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 12, 2019 at 10:04 pm
Thanks Kate! Yes, I hope others will add their voices to the conversation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 12, 2019 at 10:22 pm
many may struggle to verbalise their ideas …
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 13, 2019 at 8:26 am
A very good point Kate, I can definitely empathise with that struggle and also offer support thanks to doing the job I do, being a literacy tutor. If I’m offered a key word or suggestion even that’s enough and I can build on it! Also life is too short to worry about spelling mistakes, I make lots of them myself, but it doesn’t limit me or define me as a person. We are more than our literacy level!
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 13, 2019 at 10:35 am
well said Marie, lets hope this chat gives a few more confidence to speak up … I’m dyslexic with numbers and spelling 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 13, 2019 at 12:19 pm
You have obviously worked hard improving your literacy Kate, as I’d never have guessed! Yes for sure it takes time and trust in the receiver and confidence, which comes with patience and practice. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 13, 2019 at 12:34 pm
I have installed a special spell check for my mac … also the reason I asked about counting syllables, I really don’t have a clue … devices have helped heaps 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 13, 2019 at 6:06 pm
The positive side of using technology Kate!
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 14, 2019 at 2:00 am
Not an easy one to answer but I’d say the first problem would be to identify the issue and not receiving the adequate support and positive reinforcement from the family. It starts at the home since many of the bullying may be over social media/cell phones.
LikeLiked by 2 people
October 14, 2019 at 8:26 am
Some great points there Bernice. Yes, identifying, noticing or becoming aware of the issue is a big challenge. Having a whole community approach, which sees parents, school non teaching staff and even school bus drivers informed and aware of what bullying is and of strategies to prevent it is very important too. And yes, some of it was via social media in our home where we thought Emma was safe but soon learned otherwise. Thanks for joining the conversation Berniece, every voice makes a difference! Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 14, 2019 at 2:04 am
Usually parents who are bullies have children that mimic the same behavior and are quick to defend their child even if they’re wrong.
LikeLiked by 2 people
October 26, 2019 at 10:32 pm
I’m not sure if this makes sense or is applicable. But, here goes. I’m in school again. At 58, I’m in school (oy). The classes I’m taking are french language at a university and the class is made up of international students from all around the globe. I sit in front of the class because of my eyesight (my husband sits in the back). Normally, two young girls from Asia sit beside me. I’ve grown close to them as I think they see me as somewhat of a mother figure. It’s been lovely but that’s not the issue. Two other girls sit in the row behind us. When the girls from Asia left the class for a few minutes, the two girls behind me started talking (loudly) and mocking the girls that left the room. Everyone could hear them and most people in the class understand english, the language they were using. I looked toward the teacher who simply shrugged. After class, I pulled aside and spoke with one of the girls who was doing the mocking, encouraging her to be kind and accepting. I’m not sure why the teacher would not intervene. Maybe she was young as well or maybe she felt uncomfortable doing so? I think she should have waited until after class and pulled them aside. To let it go without addressing the situation is wrong and encourages that type of behavior to happen again. Anyway, that’s my thought. I hope you enjoy the programme, Marie. It’s a wonderful thing you are going. Keep up the great work!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 27, 2019 at 12:12 pm
Brenda, you will never realise how much I appreciate your encouragement this morning. I feel blessed to have come to know you and am delighted that you share your story. My first thought is did your classes begin with some Ice breakers, to help you all know each other a little better? 2nd query did the teacher work on a mutually agreed Class Contract, where students identify what they need for the class to be a happy, productive, encouraging space? Drawing up a set of ground rules is essential. Things like one voice at a time, support and encourage each other, respect at all times, compete against ourselves not others are just a few that spring to mind. A class that has these ground rules in place can easily be reminded of them when difficulties arise, such as the obvious disrespect you describe. It comes down to the teacher to set the tone and expectation of the class. I once had an incident where one student was being smart, passing comment on another person, without singling the bully out, I quickly pointed out that as part of my training in psychology, I learned that we often put others down in order to build ourselves up and cover the weaknesses we feel. I was at risk of facing a report to my manager, but it was worth it, the bully never undermined another student again in my class. I also make it well known that respect is the cornerstone of all our interactions and once we have respect we don’t even need any other class ground rules. Your teacher may be young but she needs to manage her classroom and ensure it does not happen again. I applaud your intervention, if only more people were willing to stand up to bullying what a much nicer place it would be. Xx
LikeLike
October 27, 2019 at 7:47 pm
At the beginning of the semester, another teacher did an introduction game. It was language focused and not relational focused. We were learning introduction words (I am, I come from, etc.) so the answer to your question is “no” the teacher didn’t conduct any sort of “get to know each other” games. Which is a shame as we are all very diverse, from all parts of the globe. The course is not very organized so there was no class contract or anything like that. Your method of handling a classroom with diverse peoples sounds wonderful. I wish you were our teacher! =)
Thank you, Marie, for your kind comments. They made my day! I wish you well for the upcoming week. My daughter is visiting for a week and we’re off traveling tomorrow for a couple of days.
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October 27, 2019 at 8:10 pm
I feel happy knowing I had a role in making your day a positive one Brenda. I hope you enjoy special time together with your daughter travelling! I have mid term break and we drive a 500km round trip to Sligo to visit John for a day, so it will be a lovely week! Have you tried out Duolingo, an excellent language learning app. Xx
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October 28, 2019 at 8:34 pm
Love Duolingo! Great suggestion. =)
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 30, 2019 at 1:18 pm
Glad you like it Brenda, best of luck and have lots of enjoyment!
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October 27, 2019 at 8:15 pm
I think the teacher & school/learning centre are missing out on a wonderful opportunity to encourage & develop inter personal skills and awareness of the beauty of diversity. And countries wonder why there are ugly incidents of racial prejudice. Thanks for sharing such interesting insights. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
October 30, 2019 at 9:45 pm
Thank you for sharing!… Of course, I have not been a teacher and therefore have not been a teacher that has to deal with bullying in the school but I believe an important thing is the teacher has community support with the efforts to deal with bullying… and not have to deal with bullying as an individual and have to deal with the school and community politics as well.. 🙂
Until we meet again..
May the sun shine all day long
Everything go right, nothing go wrong
May those you love bring love back to you
May all the wishes you wish come true
May peace be within you
May your heart be strong
May you find whatever you’re seeking
Wherever you may roam
(Irish Saying)
LikeLiked by 2 people
October 30, 2019 at 10:43 pm
I agree Dutch that support for teachers is vital. Actually, of the 9 key principles in the Anti-bullying procedures for primary and post-primary schools, support for staff should be the foundation principle on which all 8 other principles are built.
LikeLike
November 14, 2019 at 4:26 am
I’m neither a teacher nor a parent, but I am grateful that you brought up this discussion 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 14, 2019 at 5:43 pm
Thanks for your support da-AL! I appreciate it! Raising awareness of bullying and it’s impact on victims is something I’m passionate about. Xx
LikeLiked by 1 person