
I’m angry, and it’s not often I’m angry! I’m also amazed…amazed at how a word can evoke such angry emotion!
This word ‘Acquiesce,’ gives me such an uneasy feeling because for too long, despite our best efforts we were silenced in a system that was disjointed and had no cohesive plan in place.
Slowly, I knocked on every door. I struggled to be heard. I contacted every service. Finally, I discovered the flimsy support that was available. I wasn’t told this support existed. I uncovered it, step by painful step. I came to realise that every school in Ireland has access to a School Psychologist through NEPS.
Our school was one of those schools.
Here’s a small excerpt of what to expect… ”
What do you do if you think your child may need to be seen by a NEPS Psychologist?
- You need to begin by discussing your child’s needs with the class teacher and/or school principal. Not every child needs to meet the psychologist in person. Each school makes referrals to their NEPS psychologist who helps the school to plan the work”
You can find out more here…
I rang a contact number, I spoke to the School Psychologist. I told her our son wanted to achieve his Leaving Certificate. I told her our son was being denied this opportunity because of the impact of bullying on his health. I reminded her that every child is entitled to an education.
Soon I got a phone call from that Psychologist, a meeting had been arranged with the school to discuss our son’s education.
It did not solve the issue. The impact of bullying on a child’s well-being and mental health does not disappear overnight but this State funded and readily available intervention went some way towards helping me realise that I was not alone, that we were not alone and that there were support services available that we had not been informed of!

And now I refuse to ‘acquiesce.’ I won’t, under any circumstances, accept, agree or allow something to happen by staying silent or by not arguing. I won’t acquiesce until I do my bit, no matter how small that may be!
I want to ensure victims, bullies, passive bullies (those who stand by gutless, watching and let the victims suffer), teachers, principals, parents, the community, society, and every nationality have a conversation. I want them to see the damage school bullying causes. I want to paint a picture of the pain it inflicts – a picture that leave you in no doubt of the long term effects of school bullying. Please help me break the silence and as we do this, together, please 1.Take Heart!
Dee’s Word of the Day
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/80183056/posts/2151594850
Have you or your children been bullied or silenced? Have you stood by and watched a victim suffer at the hands of a bully? What would you do differently now?
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
January 28, 2019 at 9:03 pm
I remembered when my son was around 13,he came home telling me someone we know threw him on the ground, etc. Without my son knowing, I called the boy’s parents and spoke to his mother. The next day, my son told me x didn’t acknowledge him and was walking on the other side of the street. 🙂 I don’t appreciate what this boy did and made sure it was acknowledged. I’ve worked in the school system for 2 years and when I saw someone picking on someone, I’ve made it a point to address it…nicely of course and to their parents. Thank you for this platform.
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January 28, 2019 at 9:31 pm
Thank you Bernice for your affirming comment and for sharing your experience; particularly your refusal to acquiesce! I hope your story encourages other parents to address these issues and I like how you say “nicely of course”… respect is key!
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January 28, 2019 at 9:08 pm
Great post Marie, acquiescence is soul destroying … I did child protection for years and somehow felt the perps where mentally disturbed but it was the mothers that stood silently by allowing their children to be repeatedly raped that made me more angry!
They knew but acquiesced to keep the marriage … really?
Now a post describing the pain at every level …
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January 28, 2019 at 9:40 pm
Thank you Kate! Bullies and perps usually have come from a destructive background but we all have choices so I feel it is not an excuse for their behaviour. Mother’s make choices too and they need to be educated and encouraged to use their voice, to speak up and escape the fear.
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January 28, 2019 at 10:31 pm
oh they have NO fear … some said “saved him bothering me”, they were fully complicent … no sense or need to protect the children 😦
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January 28, 2019 at 10:59 pm
Gosh Kate I find that, as a mother, so hard to fathom…could a mother be that callous, totally selfish and an equal partner in crime…definitely deserving the same punishment as the perp!
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January 29, 2019 at 2:06 am
neither really get punished, the children just become victims of the system … he might get 6 months on a holiday farm if the officer pushes it but they get it sweet to protect them from common criminals who would prefer to dispense their own justice ….
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January 29, 2019 at 5:29 am
How sad is that Kate! Children let down by the system yet again. Sadly it only enables the cycle of dysfunction and abuse to continue into the next generation. Thanks for sharing some of the amazing and challenging work you do! Xx
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January 29, 2019 at 5:51 am
thanks Marie, it’s in my earlier poems, all shared before 🙂
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January 28, 2019 at 11:28 pm
Excellent! I like you will not nor do I stay silent when faced with adversity. I will not allow anyone to put me down in any way. I’ll give you an example …. Recently I had a featured post that was very humorous giving everyone a laugh at what can and does come out of my mouth. I had one commenter say she thought I was paranoid on account of watching so much social media. One, this person doesn’t know me. Two, I am the farthest thing from paranoid. Three, I do not watch any media except for WP. I felt angry that someone would take something I had written that was really funny and point a finger at me telling me I was paranoid and there was nothing “funny” about what I wrote. I left the comments. I did not delete them for I will show others I stand up for myself regardless of where or with whom. This judging and this bullying MUST MUST MUST stop! So help me, when I see it I do something about it. Thank YOU for doing the very same!!
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January 29, 2019 at 5:24 am
Thank you Amy Rose for joining in the conversation and for sharing. I think information, education and awareness are key and of course a sprinkle of respect goes a long way but sadly respect is a word that is lacking in a lot of people. A little thought before people act would go a long way! Xx
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January 29, 2019 at 1:54 pm
Respect, just like you said, is lacking in this world. When disrespect comes my way, it hurts. I so agree that a little thought before people act would really go a long way! Have a great day!! 😁
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January 29, 2019 at 3:07 pm
You too!
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January 30, 2019 at 2:09 pm
I can see why ‘Acquiesce’ brings such emotions and you’ve made a brilliant point. I won’t acquiesce until I’ve done and said my bit anymore either. Powerful post! xx
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January 30, 2019 at 6:55 pm
A very inspiring post. I feel angry with you, Marie. Angry and sad that your children, your family, suffered. It’s appalling help for your family was not easier to find. For some reason, this quote came to mind. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (Edmund Burke)
Take care dear friend!
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January 30, 2019 at 10:23 pm
Hi Brenda, I really appreciate your affirming comment and regular visits! It was, for sure, a huge learning curve and I really would like to ensure that other families do not feel alone or unsure of where to access supports. I am convinced that knowledge is power and I would like, over time to enhance my knowledge of all things “bullying” and continue to share what I have learned. I love the quote you shared, I had heard it before but I have copied it for reference. I think that the apathy and acquiescence of others is all too common and our daughter’s health is still paying the price but if I can’t change others I can at least change myself and hope others see something they like. Be well Brenda, Le grà, Marie xx
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January 31, 2019 at 4:27 pm
Your passion to help other families in a similar situation is admirable. Knowledge is indeed power! I’m sorry to hear your daughter still struggles and wish her well. =)
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January 31, 2019 at 5:03 pm
Thanks Brenda! Xc
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January 31, 2019 at 11:24 am
Marie, this is another very moving but wrenching post. I find myself really wanting to do things to help. x
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January 31, 2019 at 3:17 pm
Thank you Darren, that really shows your kind nature. I know step by step I can ensure this is not another families experience! Hope you are surviving this cold blast. We had snow on Tuesday and forecast for today also!
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January 31, 2019 at 3:19 pm
I am actually off work sick due to a tummy bug so at least I do not have to go out in the cold. We had snow tuesday too but it has mostly gone. Sunny today. X
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January 31, 2019 at 5:02 pm
Hope you feel better soon. You picked a good time, if there is such a thing, for a tummy bug!
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January 31, 2019 at 5:10 pm
Agreed😄. And thank you Marie. X
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August 31, 2019 at 9:17 pm
Such a powerful post Marie! Bullying comes in many forms and from many people. It’s time for it to stop.
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September 1, 2019 at 9:05 am
So true Terri, bullying can be encountered in all areas of life and there’s no magic solution. Increased awareness through education is a starting point.
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September 1, 2019 at 2:17 am
Marie, honestly, I don’t know how you’ve remained as stalwart as you have! Having your kids bullied… trying to help them…now finding this out! I’m angry for you! I just hurt when I think of a child being bullied. Destroys me. I can’t imagine what it does to you. I hope answers become fruitful! 😊
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September 1, 2019 at 7:55 am
A great post, Marie and where is our education system going. Our children are feeling so insecured and frightened too.
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September 1, 2019 at 9:00 am
Thanks Kamal, as class sizes increase and teaching staff numbers are cut in line with less government funding the situation can sadly only deteriorate. Stressful for all concerned!
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September 1, 2019 at 9:03 am
Yes absolutely true and agree totally with your words, Marie. Welcome 😊😊 😊 dear
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September 1, 2019 at 9:54 am
This is a powerful and much needed post. If we all act and stand up when we see this happening it would really make an impact. It makes me angry when teachers, principals, school staff sit on the sidelines and do nothing about this abusive behavior.
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September 1, 2019 at 9:46 pm
Thank you Lisa for joining the conversation and sharing your thoughts! Remaining silent benefits nobody but the bully. Innocent victims need anti-bullying policies in place that are both efficient and effective. Opportunities for ongoing training via CPD should be available to all teachers, principals and should include non-teaching staff such as caretakers and bus drivers.
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September 1, 2019 at 7:27 pm
Marie, I remember when my daughter was in 4th grade and how I found out she had been bullied toward the end of the school year for the entire school year. No one told me. My daughter didn’t want me to know. Her teacher didn’t think I needed to know. It all came to a head when my daughter was actually beaten up. It turned out her “best” friend paid some little shit to beat my daughter up because she was jealous. Once I intervened, things changed. I wrote a note to this girl’s mother (who was actually my friend) and made it clear that if her daughter did anything else to cause my daughter pain, paid anyone else to hurt my daughter or bad mouth my daughter or if my daughter ever had an accident at school, I would be going to the police and pressing charges. I didn’t care what excuses her kid had for doing what she did. Not only did I have to do this but I also had to battle my own child who thought I was been cruel for banishing her best friend from her life. I told my daughter that I loved her and that if she didn’t understand the difference between a friend and an enemy, then we had work to do. I told her that I knew she didn’t understand right then, but eventually she would. It was my duty to protect her until she could learn to protect herself. That was my job. When she learned to assert herself and not let people hurt her, then I would back off. Until then, I would help her learn how to protect herself. It took several more years before my daughter finally figured out a few things about people and about herself. She did see a therapist, but therapists can’t do much if the client isn’t interested in actually getting the help they need. It helped Lauren just a little seeing a therapist. She actually saw several different therapists through those tough years. Anyway, I kept a closer eye on my daughter and did what I had to do. I’m sure I made mistakes, but I wanted my daughter to know that she was worth fighting for and that she was no one’s punching bag or doormat. I let her know often that she was well-loved and valued. Well, you should see my 29-year-old daughter today. I’m very proud of her. She’s assertive, she holds a position of authority at her work and no one messes with her. At the same time, she’s very approachable and fun-loving and has a good life! (Knock on wood!) When it’s your kid, you just keep working until the work is done. Not a minute before. My daughter is an empath and empaths when they are young, don’t always know how to deal with that or how to protect themselves. They are more easily hurt. They tend to take on others’ pain without taking care of themselves. I knew nothing about this until she was already grown, but I just made her my business and made it her business to know that she was my business. I don’t know that this will help anyone, but I hope that my words do resonate with someone who needs to read this. Thanks Marie, for all you do! Mona
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September 1, 2019 at 10:08 pm
Mona, I would like to thank you for sharing what must have been a difficult and upsetting experience of bullying! Your story really resonated with me and I have to admire your assertiveness. Living in a small community, I’m afraid I remained silent for too long. I think your story will certainly help others to realise the importance of being assertive and protecting our children while they learn to protect themselves! I’m also glad your story shows that when handled properly, there really is an amazing life beyond bullying! Much love to you and Lauren. Xx
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September 8, 2019 at 10:03 pm
This post brought back so many memories of issues my son Daniel faced in his first year of high school and even in primary years. He’s always been different, sensitive, not like the other kids. When I found out he was being bullied there was no way I could just stand by. Thankfully teachers were relatively supportive but it was a tough time for a boy finding his feet and feeling so insecure about himself. As a mother I was there for him and our lines of communication were always open. Thankfully I can say today, as he comes to the end of year 12, he is a young man comfortable in his own skin and true to his own beliefs. It hasn’t been an easy road but he’s so worth it. I admire your perseverance. And I wish your daughter the very best.
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September 9, 2019 at 12:34 pm
Miriam thank you for sharing your story with me. We shouldn’t have to answer for or make excuses for our children, it should be a given that they are all different and not like other children! Some are socially sensitive and that’s ok, what a horrible loud world it would be if everybody was outgoing. Academia sadly has a narrow focus missing out on a multitude of talents. Your story of open communication and determination to support Daniel in achieving to the best of his unique ability is exactly the message I want to get across! Thank you for your kind wishes! Le grà, Marie
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