Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.
“It is rare that children with good confidence and self esteem will be the victim of bullying”…so a recent article stated,
Rare…means seldom occurring.
I say beware the word ‘rare‘ which can lull you into a false sense of security…
Rare still happens to someone!
Have you ever stopped to consider how rare is rare?
Consider this… If your children were functioning to the peak of their individual ability at home, in school, and in community life until they were bullied, over an extended period of time, would that tip them into the ‘rare‘ category?
Or would reporting the bullying but being told ‘stand up for yourself,’ ‘build a wall and put it behind you’ or “he needs to be more resilient” be the tipping point into that “rare” category?
Having good confidence and self esteem might make you more effective at dealing with bullying, but if bullying is experienced on an on-going basis, and if it is left unsupported over a long period, it is the DURATION of bullying that, in my experience, overwhelms the victim’s confidence and self esteem and determines the impact of bullying, both short and long term.
The only solution to bullying, is rapid and easy access to support and that support must be informed, professional and cohesive. Anything less is unacceptable! You might find some information & support in this post…Bullying & Beyond…20 Knowledge is Power!
What do you think? Please join in this conversation and help others find the support they need, now, and not when it is too late.
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
June 14, 2019 at 8:21 pm
Thank you for sharing!.. “It is rare that children with good confidence and self esteem will be the victim of bullying”, that thinking is like stepping outdoors during a thunderstorm thinking one will not get struck by lighting because it is rare that happens… the only way to deal with a bully is for the child to have the love and support and that support actually confronts the bully so that bully knows the child bullied is not alone… 🙂
“It is not the size of the dog in a fight that matters, it is the size of the fight in the dog”.. Mark Twain
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June 15, 2019 at 7:37 am
I’m delighted to hear your opinion on this point Dutch and agree that the solution is unconditional love and competent support/anti-bullying policy, that assures the victim that they are not alone and also leaves the bully in no doubt that their behaviour is inappropriate and will not be tolerated. It is important too, that it is the behaviour that is seen as maladaptive and not the child/person perpetrating the bullying.
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June 15, 2019 at 1:38 am
Rare is one too many. Support – absolutely! But it must include action to stop the bullying. Before it cuts any deeper.
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June 15, 2019 at 7:39 am
You’ve summed my post up beautifully, thank you oneletterup! I agree that words without action will not prevent further pain.
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June 15, 2019 at 2:54 am
your final paragraph about support is really vital … even rare is too often!
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June 15, 2019 at 7:44 am
Sadly it is so true Kate, as was our experience. Lip service and empty promises have left scars that are still causing obvious pain to one of our children and intuitively I can’t help but wonder if our other child is fully healed or has applied a very capable bandage to the wound.
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June 15, 2019 at 8:35 am
some can heal so please don’t doubt him … you have an open relationship so he will tell you if it arises again … often relocation and another interest helps heal 🙂
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June 15, 2019 at 8:52 am
Thank you Kate, I believe you are right in what you say and 99% of the time I don’t doubt it! He has flourished since he moved to college. Yes, we are close and have open lines of communication, thankfully! He is very philosophical & well read and has had that moment of awakening where he made the conscious choice to change his life. Things will improve for our daughter too, they are and have! Thanks as always for your company. X
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June 15, 2019 at 10:45 am
with unconditional parental love everything is possible … so few have that blessing!
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