Today a father and his little son were walking along a quiet street approaching a corner. The little boy, about three years old, made a dash away from his father towards the corner of the street. We were driving towards the same corner. My husband had already anticipated the possibilities and slowed down, well below the speed limit.
I saw the father of the little boy suddenly react. He ran a few steps and grabbed his son by the arm, just at the edge of the path. He aggressively jerked his son’s little arm a number of times, loudly chastising him as we drove past. I thought about how many times I had near misses when my children were young and I could hear my heart beating loudly in my ears.
This child had done something wrong, but he is a child and still learning. The mistake he made could have meant he was seriously injured or even worse, had he actually dashed off the street and onto the road in front of our car.
I thought about who needs to be corrected here. Nobody trains us to be parents. After fourteen years in school we leave without any training or qualification in childcare. But when a parent walks along a quiet street with a three year old child, and pays more attention to their phone screen than to their child, then it’s not the child that needs to be corrected!
So, if you have a near one with your child, think about who needs to learn from the experience and if you’re ready to jump in and chastise your child, think about what message you are giving them…
Instead, I encourage you to calm yourself. Kneel down to their height, hug them to you, tell them you love them. Then look them in the eye and tell them about the fright you got, talk about the rules of the road and about the danger of dashing off the path onto the road and then sit back and think…
Thank your lucky stars that you are still a parent…
and that you still have time to enhance your parenting skills…
because no matter how much attention you give your phone screen…
Google, Ecosia or any other search will not take away the heartbreak or show you how to bring your little son back to life.
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
May 11, 2019 at 8:34 pm
Excellent advice. Smart phone screens hypnotize so easily if we are not careful.
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May 11, 2019 at 8:58 pm
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. Technology has its advantages but it can easily become addictive.
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May 11, 2019 at 10:58 pm
Very well said Marie … I have often ranted about lack of parenting education … look at all the training and exams we do for school, to drive or fly, a trade … most things have training and then assessment but anyone can become a parent and we all carry the baggage of our own childhoods!
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May 12, 2019 at 4:48 am
And well said also Kate! I recall Keanu Reeves, who played Tod, in Ron Howard’s ‘Parenthood’ a brilliant film back in 1989 saying “You know, Mrs. Buchman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”
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May 12, 2019 at 5:04 am
lol that says it much better than I did!
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May 12, 2019 at 2:13 pm
Thank you for sharing!.. with the universe constantly changing and new daily challenges, life is a learning experience for everyone… in spite of the fathers intentions, I am sure the little boy will remember the pain and the hostile voice of the father over learning any lesson from the ordeal…. 🙂
Have a Happy MOther’s Day and hope the day, and every day, is filled with peace, love and happiness… 🙂
“People may forget what you said, people may forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya angelou
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May 12, 2019 at 7:19 pm
I agree that the child will remember the tone of voice, the pain and the unexpected emotional upset Dutch. I love the Maya Angelou quote!
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May 12, 2019 at 2:22 pm
Well said Marie! More people should read your post! xoxo
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May 12, 2019 at 7:20 pm
Thanks Janie! Hope you and your boys are well!
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May 13, 2019 at 1:35 pm
We are! I hope all are well at your home too! 🙂
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May 13, 2019 at 5:03 pm
Thanks Janie, we are. Xx
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May 13, 2019 at 1:29 am
Very wise words, Marie. As a parent, it is so important to remember to act, rather than react…..
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May 13, 2019 at 6:49 am
Good reminder/ mantra Ann, “to act, rather than react.”
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May 14, 2019 at 5:00 pm
Really good points, Marie. The child is still learning, but it’s also a learning curve for the parent. Very well said xx
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May 14, 2019 at 8:45 pm
Thanks Caz, in the heat of the moment it’s not easy to be calm but with practice it gets easier and has a much better outcome for all concerned.
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May 17, 2019 at 7:19 pm
Great advice. I’m sorry for the fright you received as well.
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May 17, 2019 at 10:16 pm
It’s funny how objective we can be when we’ve lived through so much, harder when younger and in the heat of the moment! Xx
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