I’m always grateful when readers share their experiences with me, it starts a conversation on bullying and prompts further reflection.
I’d like to share two such responses to my post, Bullying & Beyond… 10.Painting the pain, part three.
Paula at Paula Light https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/74951
bravely said “I was bullied for being fat and nerdy and bad at sports. Thank God I could get away from the kids outside of school and escape into books and tv shows. I also found my own hobbies, such as needlepoint. But today, with social media, there’s no escape. That’s the worst ~ I can’t imagine the horror of never escaping the peer group.”
Parikhit Dutta at Weeping Pines https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/56154764
responded with empathy saying…
“I’m so glad for you Paula. It can be so frustrating to live the pains of bullying always, never being able to escape. And isn’t it a silent killer”.
My thanks to both Paula and Parikhit for prompting this post.
I can, from experience, confirm that bullying via social media is as noxious as poison gas, it is a silent killer!
One Christmas while we were enjoying a family gathering our daughter was suffering in silence in the midst of us, as bullies targeted her with vile and upsetting messages on social media. We were oblivious to this happening until our daughter could no longer contain her distress and broke down telling us. Even after the girls in question were reprimanded and made close their social media accounts, the bullying continued because they were able to create new accounts using fake identification.
Bullying & Beyond… 10.Painting the Pain, part one.
Social media enables bullies to infiltrate the victim’s home; often the only safe space victims have. Online bullying is omnipresent, affecting children, adults and even Politicians, as we’ve seen during the United Kingdom’s Brexit attempts.
When bullying is frequent and continues over a protracted period it can cripple the victim leaving them distressed and confused. The implications can be life long, leaving them with low confidence and self-esteem, and can cause them intense dislike of themselves for being too fat, too thin, nerdy, shy or a miriad of other perfectly normal human characteristics just because a bully decided these traits were “unacceptable”.
Other sign of distress can include mood swings, anxiety, depression, insomnia, panic attacks, eating disorders, OCD, and finally but not exhaustively, self-harm until another innocent, tormented life could be lost to bullying.
Having witnessed the effect of online bullying I’d like to highlight to parents the distress children feel at, the horror of never escaping from this silent killer.” I’d also like to stress the lasting impact of bullying and encourage parents, adults & society to be vigilant.
Have you or your children been bullied? Did you/they experience “the horror of never escaping the peer group” because of the pervasiveness of social media? Did you watch this silent killer in action?
Le grà,
Mindfully Marie xx
March 29, 2019 at 10:25 pm
I see social media as more a curse than a blessing … blogging is about my only involvement.
Have a FB account with five very close friends and keep it closed. Whilst recently seeking relocation I put a few ads on FB … the response was abusive and those ads were down within 30 hours. I’m told that intelligent bored people hang out there for amusement and as the new kid on the block I was the focus of their ridicule. But as an adult I immediately exited so I can’t imagine how it is for those who use it frequently. Have two friends who lose hours of their life on FB, no idea how but they are totally addicted … best to use everything with kindness and in moderation.
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March 29, 2019 at 10:45 pm
I’m afraid I tend to agree although I have seen the positive side since joining WP which has been a really warm and inclusive experience. As for fb I have an account, used for about 12 months but the shine soon wore off! I find it mindless and a bragging ground for those caught in a materialistic mindset. Recently thinking of closing it down and wondering how people waste hours on mindless dribble.
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March 30, 2019 at 5:57 am
agree totally but some have sadly empty lives …
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March 30, 2019 at 7:50 am
I think that’s the core of it and I would add that it is another way of coping when life is overwhelming…
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March 30, 2019 at 8:08 am
wow I had never thought of it that way, as a coping tool … not healthy at any level as it’s a real avoidance of reality 😦
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March 30, 2019 at 2:35 am
Marie, my advice is to ignore social media. With the exception of a word Press. I could tell you of a 1,000 conversations I’ve had on social media that absolutely go nowhere and is all about the ego of the person responding.
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March 30, 2019 at 5:55 am
I have to agree Len, I get satisfaction from reading & learning from other bloggers and writing, sharing but I can gladly live without other social media. Children can also reduve and avoid social media but it doesn’t stop the abuse and vile content being posted by bullies blackening your child’s name and character. It is indeed all ego led and I believe a shield behind which lies the pain, hurt, damage, frustration, defence mevhanisms and other misguided goals of behaviour of misguided children. Thanks for joining the conversation. Marie xx
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March 30, 2019 at 1:06 pm
«Silent killer», I never thought of that, but sure I am reflected no.
social media is so devious and sad, has not seen anything positive with, for example, facebook. Many young people I have talked to who get depressed, get suicidal thoughts and some self-harm because of social media. This hurts my heart. Have meetings with parents, guidance and follow-up, but then I discover that the parents are also not good role models on social media. It’s a bad spiral, and parents have to set an example. How bad also children can be against each other I do not understand ..
oi, i write and write, i get so engaged.
I have an fb account both as a blogger and a private person. Leave it down for a while, but turn it back on because I take courses and alternative school through fb.
On wordpress is it so much love and beatifuls soul’s, and one of them is you❤️
I’m impressed by you and I hope you reach your work.
I’m impressed by you and I hope you reach far over the world with it🦋
A great post, thank you Marie🦋
Bless you🦋
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March 30, 2019 at 9:40 pm
I am of the same opinion about fb and yes social media and the false reality it displays causes depression and worse. What is need is more time away from technology engaging socially and with nature. Thank you Lillian for sharing your professional experience and for your insightful comment. Xx
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March 30, 2019 at 9:48 pm
I completely agree with you. Be more together, action and prevention against exclusion and more invitation to be together and see each other, listen with respect and include everyone. Have faith in a better world if we look with our ears and listen with our eyes soon❤️❤️
Faith🦋
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March 30, 2019 at 10:49 pm
I think you mean look with our eyes and listen with our ears but I get the idea and maybe we should be extra watchful! Your english by the way is amazing! Thank you for your constant company too. Le grà Xx
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March 30, 2019 at 10:54 pm
Yes, I am sorry.. thank you🦋
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March 30, 2019 at 11:00 pm
There is no need to apologise at all…as I said your english is fantastic! Xx
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March 31, 2019 at 6:22 am
❤️
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March 30, 2019 at 3:46 pm
I’m so glad my children came of age when social media didn’t rule quite as strongly it does now….
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March 30, 2019 at 9:34 pm
Ann I’d imagine parenting had to be easier before the arrival or proliferation of social media. Thanks for adding to the conversation.
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April 1, 2019 at 8:51 am
The thought of bullying on social media is horrifying. At least in ‘our day’ we cold leave the bullies behind at the school gates. To have that stream of abuse continue 24 hours a day must be unbearable and, as you say, lethally damaging.
Personally I think there is a case for preventing use of social media by school age kids full stop. It is too easy for bullies to inflict lasting damage. Dumb phones are still available for those who insist that kids need access to mobile phones for emergencies.
I do not believe in censorship but some things are just too dangerous in the hands of people who lack the emotional intelligence to use them with care.
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April 12, 2019 at 7:51 pm
Sorry I missed this post in my feed but found it today. Thank you for including my quote. I agree Facebook is terrible ~ I no longer have an account there or on Insta or Messenger. Besides encouraging bullying (and doing nothing when instances of TOS violations are reported), their breaches of our privacy are unforgivable. I am in a supportive WP environment, which I enjoy very much, and I’ve created a nice twitter feed full of poets and things i enjoy. It takes some work, but you can be on social media and exclude much of the toxic stuff from your life. But it’s much more difficult for children because they will have to be in constant contact with their pre-selected peer group.
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April 12, 2019 at 9:04 pm
Hi Paula, don’t worry at all and no need to apologise, I miss lots of posts and sometimes catch up again. Social media certainly has its pros, like here on WP and I’m glad you find twitter good too but there is also a huge negative side and I think it’s important for parents to set definite boundaries. Thank you for reading and commenting. Happy Easter! Xx
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