
I wrote this post one morning as I really struggled to cope, to accept, to hope…ACCEPTANCE!
When I think back I can still recall how visceral my emotion was that morning.
We had struggled under the weight of both our children being victims of bullying and its short and long term consequences. We watched both our children suffer and we searched for answers to many questions…
With no avenues left to follow, sadly one day we were forced to accept that the situation was outside of our control. I recall the pain of frustration and of what felt like failure.
We offered it up to God, to the Universe, to the silent expanse of the countryside… We were exhausted, depleted and we knew we had to sit back and develop patience.
We tried to listen with love, we spoke with love and we encouraged with love. We learned to trust, to hope and to let go control. We let go our need to fix, our need for things to be as we thought they should be.
As I look back now, it’s amazing how acceptance, love and time changes things!
Hardly two years on, time has intervened…
With time, he re-tuned his body clock. He began to re-engage with life. His motivation to study slowly improved. He spoke of sitting his exams. We quietly encouraged him to do what he thought was best for him… And it worked!
He took back power over his own life. He regained his voice; the damage from bullying being slowly put behind him. He decided how he wanted his future to look…
Now reaching towards the end of his second term of college we see… that acceptance, love and time... was the key.
For our daughter, who continues to struggle with her mental health, a mischievous puppy named Andy may well be… the key!
If you’d like to follow their journey as Andy works to become the first Psychiatric Service Dog in Ireland and Emma resorts to training him herself, while continuing to lobby politicians; although losing hope that her months of requesting them to help her make this service available, will come to any fruition… then you can find them on Instagram @reallyhandyandy or on Facebook at Emma and Andy.
Has bullying impacted your life? What was the key to overcoming your challenge?
Much love,
Mindfully Marie xx
November 2, 2018 at 9:08 pm
This is heartbreaking and encouraging at the same time Marie. I’m so glad things are better for him. It sounds like you guys gave him exactly what he needed. Blessings to you and your family. Sending hugs!
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November 2, 2018 at 10:38 pm
Thank you Terri for your lovely message and blessings. It was a huge challenge, very difficult to find good help and we were slow learners but we got there slowly but surely!
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November 3, 2018 at 5:53 am
heartbreaking but inspiring at the same time … amazing that you found such a fruitful resolution, well done!
I couldn’t live without resilience 🙂
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November 3, 2018 at 8:54 am
Kate, thanks for reading and responding! It was a long and painful journey but with determination and resilience we did our best – that’s all any of us can do and he is flourishing now! Xx
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November 3, 2018 at 9:20 am
so glad to hear that … maybe you could write a guide for parents, it would be invaluable!
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November 3, 2018 at 5:09 pm
Thank you Kate for your suggestion and encouragement. I’d like to do that, I am gathering some pieces of writing to share our story, so who knows what the future holds!
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November 3, 2018 at 7:55 pm
many families have similar issues and sharing at least one solution is helpful, good luck with whatever comes next!
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November 3, 2018 at 8:21 pm
Thanks Kate…maybe I’ve been making it too big a project in my mind…maybe ‘sharing at least one solution’ is as good a starting point as any!
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November 3, 2018 at 8:22 pm
absolutely, you tried something that worked well … that’s all that others need to know. Don’t get caught up in making it too big or you wont start …
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March 6, 2019 at 9:39 am
here is me … this is when I started encouraging you to post more detail 🙂
this 12 yo child prodigy wrote and performed this song as his rebellion against the bullying he experienced at school …
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March 6, 2019 at 9:46 am
We go back a while! Thanks Kate for your enduring positivity and encouragement. Link would not work, says no match. Xx
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March 6, 2019 at 9:49 am
try copying this from the Http part ..
[www/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7s1q4NykiQ%5D or look up Injustice for All on youtube by callum the heavy metal kid …
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November 3, 2018 at 12:46 pm
Thank you for sharing… the key to overcoming challenges that life has, and will, put before me is following my heart… 🙂
“When someone tells you “you’ve changed”, it might be because you have stopped living your life their way”.. John Pence
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November 3, 2018 at 5:27 pm
I agree Dutch…it’s so important to follow our heart and it’s a sure recipe for a sad life if we don’t!
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November 4, 2018 at 4:31 am
Great post Marie…we need to allow others to process circumstances in their own time…
Glad it was a positive outcome for you all 😀
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November 4, 2018 at 9:12 am
Great comment Jennifer! What actually leads us to think that others should do anything but process circumstances in their own time in the first place? I think the area of control and boundaries is somewhat understood and unexamined.
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November 5, 2018 at 3:12 am
As professionals we know the effects & research of social control & boundaries but the wider population are quite often bound in cultural norms. Which don’t take into consideration individual capacities. Sadly social norms hold everyone to the same expectations.
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November 4, 2018 at 12:27 pm
Very inspirational post. It’s amazing what magic patience, love, acceptance, and time can achieve. So happy to read that everything is moving in the right direction!
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November 4, 2018 at 6:23 pm
I’m delighted you think so Laurie, thank you!
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November 4, 2018 at 6:01 pm
A touching post, Marie – I’m so glad things worked out well! Hugs to you xx
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November 4, 2018 at 6:26 pm
Thank you Shelley, we certainly learned a lot and changed a lot because of it all! Hugs appreciated!!
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November 5, 2018 at 1:56 am
I think few things are harder than watching a loved one suffer, especially when there isn’t anything you can do to help. I’m so glad the situation is improved for all of you! And yes, resilience is so important and such a blessing. Take care!
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November 5, 2018 at 2:48 pm
Hi Ann, it’s easier to suffer ourselves than watch someone else suffer and be unable to help them but the whole experience was a great teacher!
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November 5, 2018 at 8:08 am
This is great Marie. And such an inspiration😍
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November 5, 2018 at 3:01 pm
Thanks so much Darren, we’re getting there! I hope it is encouraging for someone else out there struggling at the moment. 🤗
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November 5, 2018 at 7:03 pm
I really do love this; acceptance, love, and time. It’s encouraging for me to hear today. I’m so glad for your son!
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November 5, 2018 at 9:05 pm
Brenda thank you so much! I’m glad it spoke to you today and hope it helps exactly as you need. X
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November 5, 2018 at 7:24 pm
Encouraging post Marie. To surrender and have faith and trust that all will work out. Something I’ve been working on for myself. I noticed I can be hard on myself. xo
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November 5, 2018 at 9:17 pm
Thank you so much! It was a strange experience actually Bernice, upset and in desperation I finally asked the universe what it was that it was trying to teach me and within an hour or two something shifted and I was able to accept what had been unacceptable and I felt at peace for the first time in ages. “Surrender” is a good description! Try to be kinder to yourself..it will reap rewards! Thanks for reading and responding. Xx
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November 7, 2018 at 9:12 am
Marie, he is lucky to be so thoroughly loved!
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November 7, 2018 at 9:32 am
da-AL, thank you so much! He is an amazing young man, warm and very enlightened for his age.
He was our lotto win, surviving premature birth of 27 weeks, 2lb 9oz! We feel blessed to have come to understand how to best support him through his struggle. Thank you for reading and responding. Xx
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November 7, 2018 at 9:40 am
❤
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December 18, 2018 at 6:35 pm
Hello. I have nominated you for the Liebster award. Good luck.
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December 18, 2018 at 10:06 pm
Thank you, I really appreciate your nomination! I’m not good at making enough time for awards but I will certainly check it out and try my best.
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March 12, 2019 at 4:16 pm
Bullying is the worst and its effect lasts so long until we choose to re-empower ourselves. I’m so happy for both of your children and am in fact, so proud of them for neither one have opted to be a victim. Their experiences with bullying have made them stronger and more empathic and Compassionate to those who are hurt by others. Bless you for writing this post!! XO
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March 12, 2019 at 5:13 pm
Thank you so much AmyRose for reading and joining in the conversation! It has been a long road but we are lucky now to be able to acknowledge our past and make progress towards a better future. As our son said in a previous post ” – I am grateful for it all.” I too am grateful for all I have learned and for all I continue to learn as a result of the generous conversations I am being trusted with here on WP. Le grà, Marie xx
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March 12, 2019 at 5:15 pm
How touched I am by your response, Marie. Really! I like you have had some phenomenal connections here on WP where I get no where else. For this I am so grateful as I know you are as well. Love, Amy XO
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March 12, 2019 at 5:29 pm
Today is the 30 anniversary of the Internet and we all know it has positives and negative sides to it but I have to say WordPress has been a real positive in my life and has shown me how beneficial the Internet can be for connecting with so many like-minded people like you Amy. I look forward to moving forward together. Marie Xx
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March 12, 2019 at 6:07 pm
I feel the exact same way. I avoid the “negative” and am only on here for WP and email, then as well for editing purposes. Hubby is the main researcher in the family yet I too use the search engines for health purposes for both our cats and hubby and me. I too look forward to moving to a bright new future together, Marie. I am so Blessed to have met you and other like-minded/soul people here through WP. What a Gift!! XO
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March 12, 2019 at 10:27 pm
We and our journeys are the gift for sure Amy! Xx
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March 12, 2019 at 5:07 pm
I follow your journey. I am impressed with how you explained acceptance. I can bet your kids will be just great! I follow Emma and Andy on Instagram and have shared that info with all I know. Be very proud of how you have handled this as well as your children’s ability to overcome! ❤
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March 12, 2019 at 5:21 pm
Kim that is so kind and you are such a great supporter! I think I saw you mention facebook and Emma now has a page called Emma and Andy, if you’d like to check that out. She is delighted with over 300 followers on Instagram now and having a project is bringing a positive focus! Bless you for your continued company and encouragement! Le grà, Marie xx
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March 12, 2019 at 7:10 pm
Absolutely, the least I can do! Emma and Andy on Facebook! 300 followers on Instagram?!?!?! Good for Emma!
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March 12, 2019 at 10:29 pm
You have Emma grinning and laughing here Kim!! Thank you for the love you share so freely. Xx
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March 12, 2019 at 10:56 pm
I’m thrilled to hear this! I’m very happy to help! Hello Emma! Thanks for “💜-ing” my share. I hope you get lots of followers! I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next!
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March 12, 2019 at 11:10 pm
Kim I’ve copied your message and text it to Emma as she has gone to bed. Messages are making her feel better in the moment, so if today is a little better for Emma then whatever happens next is a bonus! Le grà, Marie xx
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March 12, 2019 at 11:12 pm
Yes! Sounds great Marie!
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March 13, 2019 at 8:12 am
so heartbreaking, but at the same time so heart-warming and brave. I am touched and I appreciate your honesty and heartfelt impressions. I am impressed, and speechlees. I try to find words in English…
You touch my soul, I can really feel deep inside me.
Blessing to you and your family❤️
I’ll search them up on instagram and facebook, I love to follow❤️
Again, thank you Marie🦋
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March 13, 2019 at 8:35 am
It’s very affirming to hear my words speak to you and leave an impression. Please do check Emma and Andy out. And thank you Orchid daughter. My pleasure. Xx
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March 13, 2019 at 8:42 am
My pleasure, and you and your family is worth more than I can express me in English❤️ and I follow them on instagram og facebook❤️
Blessings🦋
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March 13, 2019 at 8:49 am
Welcome to our family. Marie Xx
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March 13, 2019 at 8:50 am
Thank you very much❤️ and Andy is so cute and lovely❤️
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March 13, 2019 at 9:11 am
He is…and intelligent, he is learning fast! Xx
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March 21, 2019 at 2:24 pm
Acceptance from family, from siblings, from everybody is vital. It makes them feel wanted, feel heard. I’m so proud of you for championing this cause.
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March 21, 2019 at 10:42 pm
I really appreciate your support Parakhit! Thank you! I have to speak up and encourage others to use their voice as I don’t want other children to suffer like our children did and I don’t want other parents to feel hopeless and isolated like we did. Xx
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March 23, 2019 at 2:40 pm
Yes! I am so glad and happy that you taking the initiative. May be some day we’d have a world free of bullying 🙂
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March 23, 2019 at 7:13 pm
Thanks Parikhit, every voice helps! Hopefully we will, that would be a dream come true!
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March 25, 2019 at 4:35 pm
Amen to that thought 🙂
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April 18, 2019 at 9:29 am
Thank you sooo much for recommending this to me Marie! This does inspire you to keep going on and eventually, everything will be alright, as after every night, there is a day! I hope you and your family are in a much better place than ever before! Wish all of loads of happiness and love!
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June 23, 2019 at 3:48 pm
Marie, this post was so impactful for me and I thank you from my heart. While bullying doesn’t seem to be here in our situation, the anxiety etc. is and I’ve been lovingly doing what I thought was right to encourage, to push to help him. All along he’s been reticent and now I realize it must come from within him. Acceptance, love and time are the key builders that I had forgotten somehow to include. I’m sitting here crying because your post just wrapped me in a cozy blanket and turned my thinking around.
Thank you…you are indeed a blessing in my life. xo
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June 23, 2019 at 6:24 pm
Janie, thank you for your heartfelt response, if our frustration and struggle can help change your perspective and let you know you are not alone then I feel so grateful and privileged to have this opportunity. Just know that you are so good and so is your son. Just love him. It will all work out. Xx
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June 25, 2019 at 5:53 pm
Marie, thank you from my heart xo
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June 25, 2019 at 11:28 pm
And thank you Janie, just watch, everything will work out exactly as it’s meant to…just trust! Xx
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