Feeling Powerless in the Now…

I’m a big advocate of Positive Psychology, believing in the power of positive thinking and the power of Now. Kathleen Kerswig LUT – We Are The Reminder’s post is very relevant to my approach and so it got me thinking… check it out here…

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/72941598/posts/1849688718

The only thing was my positivity was failing me at that present moment! I just couldn’t buy into it…

You see, at that moment I did not feel the joy that comes with ‘being’ in the present moment. I couldn’t feel the Power of being in the ‘Now’. I was aware that the present wasn’t the present as I wanted it to be…

I wanted to be full of energy and travel to the seaside. I wanted a family outing, time with my husband and two young adult children, outdoors for our first sunny ‘summer’ day trip after a particularly long winter. I wanted to walk the beach and share a picnic.

But I had to face the fact that I felt powerless to my cf/fibro. I was drained and I hated to admit that as much as I wanted this outing, my body wasn’t willing and I knew I would feel better staying home. I also knew by staying home I wouldn’t suffer the consequences for the next few days of overdoing it. I felt powerless to the demands of my body so I reluctantly stayed home…

I rested and then I took a short walk. I read some blogs I follow and posted some positive comments, hoping to lift other peoples’ spirits. But I was sad; I wanted to enjoy some family time. I was lonely; knowing I can’t get those moments back especially with my youngest child fast approaching his 20’s. And I did shed a few bitter tears…But something strange happened and for that I am filled with gratitude! Strangely by being aware of and accepting my emotions I gained a new perspective…

I learned that I am not powerless, no, not by a long shot! I learned that my power has just shifted or changed…just as every stage of life brings change.

I learned that I still have power. I realised that it’s ok to not fully accept my cf/fibro somedays but I am not powerless… I learned to listen to my body. I realised that I had the ability to readjust my plans in a way that didn’t adversely affect others. I may not have wanted the present moment as it was but I learned to adjust it in a way that showed me; my body, the respect that I deserve. I listened to my body, my emotions and accepted the imperfect as good enough and that’s a serene place to be! Serenity Sunday…

I hope that you realise how powerful you are today and that you use your power to your best benefit! I look forward to your comments and ask you to please share your experiences of feeling powerless and how you handle them.

Much love,

Marie xx

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Hi... failte (Irish for welcome! and pronounced fall-thhha). I'm a newbie to blogging, here just over a year, but what a great year it has been! I've turned the corner to 50 recently and two things become more relevant...time and experiences! Material possessions are less important! Using time wisely and truly experiencing each day holds a new significance for me! If you wish..., a little of the back story... I''m blessed to be married to a kind and loving man for 28 years, we have two children now 19 and 21. As I approached 40 and searching for something more, whilst holding down my then part-time legal secretarial work, I trained as a voluntary adult literacy tutor, with the hope of helping adults improve their literacy skills and have a second, and better experience of learning! However, little did I think that wanting to help others improve their lives would see my own life improve beyond measure also! You see for years I found it difficult to know what to do as I watched our two children suffer at the hands of bullies. Their struggle began to change when I returned to education! Through education I slowly gained valuable knowledge, I grew in confidence and self-esteme and it had a ripple effect! By 2014, aged 47 I had completed a Higher Certificate in Literacy Development and a B.A. in Adult Education. I love my work as an adult educator, particularly when adults trust me enough to let down their defences and 'let me in'. Then I can help them by getting to know what makes them 'tic' and what 'lights their fire!'. As an added bonus along the way I've realised that I also have a love of writing and that writing is cathartic (providing psychological relief through written expression of built up emotions), both for my students and myself. This blog enables me to pursue that new-found interest and I've really enjoying reading your blogs, sharing comments, getting to know so many people and gaining new perspectives. I also like to share any little 'gems' of learning I've gathered along the way! Thanks for sharing your stories and for helping me realise that it is all possible...and that together we write a truly better story! Much love, Marie x

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May 8, 2018

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