Cavity…an empty space within a solid object.

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I went to my monthly writing/poetry, open mic club last Friday night. There were about twenty men and women gathered to share their work, be it short stories or poems or if they wished they could read the work of an author of their choice.

We always have time for a chat before the event and again at the tea break. Everybody seemed upbeat and chirpy despite January being a dull cold month and dismal after the efforts of Christmas.

I was about fifth to read my two short, up-beat memories. But the majority of the stories could have been themed under depression, regrets, greiving for loved ones or upsetting childhoods.

The majority of participants, although they looked solid and presented a brave front, hid their gaping, aching cavity very well until it was their turn to share their stories…when their pain and tears caused rivulets of sorrow in my heart.

So, on Friday night last, I realised how important it is to think long and hard before you think the person next to you has it easy…for in this case they grieved the passing of a mother over twelve months ago, a sister over Christmas, a husband recently lost to suicide, the death of a loyal and faithful dog and a lost childhood…

So, consider the possibilities and above all… be patient and kind!

Much love,

Marie xx

Create Space

Hi... failte (Irish for welcome! and pronounced fall-thhha). I'm a newbie to blogging, here just over a year, but what a great year it has been! I've turned the corner to 50 recently and two things become more relevant...time and experiences! Material possessions are less important! Using time wisely and truly experiencing each day holds a new significance for me! If you wish..., a little of the back story... I''m blessed to be married to a kind and loving man for 28 years, we have two children now 19 and 21. As I approached 40 and searching for something more, whilst holding down my then part-time legal secretarial work, I trained as a voluntary adult literacy tutor, with the hope of helping adults improve their literacy skills and have a second, and better experience of learning! However, little did I think that wanting to help others improve their lives would see my own life improve beyond measure also! You see for years I found it difficult to know what to do as I watched our two children suffer at the hands of bullies. Their struggle began to change when I returned to education! Through education I slowly gained valuable knowledge, I grew in confidence and self-esteme and it had a ripple effect! By 2014, aged 47 I had completed a Higher Certificate in Literacy Development and a B.A. in Adult Education. I love my work as an adult educator, particularly when adults trust me enough to let down their defences and 'let me in'. Then I can help them by getting to know what makes them 'tic' and what 'lights their fire!'. As an added bonus along the way I've realised that I also have a love of writing and that writing is cathartic (providing psychological relief through written expression of built up emotions), both for my students and myself. This blog enables me to pursue that new-found interest and I've really enjoying reading your blogs, sharing comments, getting to know so many people and gaining new perspectives. I also like to share any little 'gems' of learning I've gathered along the way! Thanks for sharing your stories and for helping me realise that it is all possible...and that together we write a truly better story! Much love, Marie x

Author archive Author website

January 30, 2018

Awareness, Challenges, Life and learning

Capability, Connections, Courage, Death, Fears, Loss, Suicide

20 thoughts on “Cavity…an empty space within a solid object.”

BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com
January 30, 2018 at 4:14 pm

Great use of the prompt. Very well written. 🙂

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- Create Space
  January 30, 2018 at 4:27 pm
  
  Thanks Beckie, I’m glad you think so!
  
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John
January 30, 2018 at 4:22 pm

Beautiful.

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- Create Space
  January 30, 2018 at 4:28 pm
  
  Thank you John for reading and commenting…so much going on for people that we just don’t see!
  
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Positively Alyssa
January 30, 2018 at 9:37 pm

Truly amazing post Marie! It is really so important to be patient with others because you are right, we never know what they are going through!!!!

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- Create Space
  January 30, 2018 at 9:41 pm
  
  Thanks Alyssa glad you think so!
  
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teawithjennifer
January 31, 2018 at 12:58 am

Yes, everyone has a story & we all mask our pain to some extent as you observed in your group, a legacy of western culture, some of us are more proficient at it then others, but pain still dwells behind our stoic masks.
Thank you for your post.
Jennifer

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- Create Space
  January 31, 2018 at 5:58 am
  
  Very true Jennifer. Is there more openess or what differences have you found in other cultures? Thank you for reading and commenting.
  
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  - teawithjennifer
    February 1, 2018 at 12:07 am
    
    Most European & middle eastern cultures are more open to the demonstration of grief.
    And that to a stoic western culture can be either refreshing or traumatizing.
    We in the west have hidden death & grief away which has put a taboo & scary mystery surrounding death & the ensuing grief, where many other cultures around the world still have it included as part of the normal cycle of life…which it is…
    In some cultures the families even help to prepare their loved one after death for their loved ones burial… This is their norm in the cycle of life.
    
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  - Create Space
    February 1, 2018 at 8:08 am
    
    Thank you Jennifer. I really appreciate your explanation and learning from you. So many topics are taboo in Ireland but we are slowly changing our views. Mental health awareness and gay marriage being top of the list in recent years.
    
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  - teawithjennifer
    February 2, 2018 at 2:39 am
    
    You’re welcome! I find people & cultures fascinating being a post grad & now a seasoned professional in anthropology, sociology & psychology, it has definitely been a positive in exploring & having knowledge in other cultural practices with counseling people from many different cultural backgrounds.
    
    I will highlight the cultural experiences I have had, as we travel in our time of reflection & tea together at my blog. 🙂
    
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  - Create Space
    February 2, 2018 at 8:22 am
    
    I’m looking forward to the learning journey!
    
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  - teawithjennifer
    February 3, 2018 at 12:15 am
    
    Thank you!
    
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artyplantsman
January 31, 2018 at 8:02 am

This is lovely Marie 🙂

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- Create Space
  January 31, 2018 at 8:45 am
  
  Thank you Darren your thoughts are appreciated!
  
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Ann Coleman
January 31, 2018 at 10:05 pm

A great reminder! It’s so easy to think that others have it easy, but that’s only because we don’t know of the pain they carry around with them. It’s basically impossible to get through this life without having some major loss and pain, so we need to be as gentle as we can with each other.

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- Create Space
  January 31, 2018 at 10:27 pm
  
  Hi Ann, lovely to have you read and comment. I’m glad you agree. It’s so easy to think everybody has it easier than us!
  
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Wind Kisses
February 1, 2018 at 8:19 pm

That’s hard when you think you will be surrounded around fun stories and moments of pride and you realize how much writing is for a way of healing too.

You know what I think Marie? I am glad you are in the club, because not only can you share what you love, but you embody love and kindness, which might pass to one person. Hugs my friend.

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- Create Space
  February 1, 2018 at 10:06 pm
  
  Donna, that’s so kind of you to say and I really appreciate your lovely words. I do try to reach out to people and offer kind words as I think a small comment can make a big difference. I’m a big believer in the healing power of writing as I’ve seen how writing changes my students lives for the better. What a lovely hug to receive when I arrived home from work! Warm hugs back!
  
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cathleentownsend
February 21, 2018 at 10:53 pm

That’s something that’s always important to remember. Whenever I’m tempted to judge someone, especially on a superficial interaction, I try to remember that we never know what’s going on in someone’s life. If I were in their place, I might not do as well. There’s so much suffering in this world.

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