Update/Breakthrough…Thanks to a comment below this post I have to add a P.S….below my original post…
“Measure yourself against what you can achieve, against your own goals, not what you perceive others to be achieving.”
Vince Jeevar PsychSpot
The Pursuit Of Unhappiness. Pt III
What a great piece of advice! Start today…compete against yourself, set your own goals, raise your own bar, push your own development and avoid comparing yourself to others.
After all it’s like comparing an Irish summer to a Spanish summer…two totally different animals!
What has been your experience of setting and achieving your own goals? Have you seen what happens when you stop comparing yourself to others? I would love to hear your thoughts!
Much love,
Marie.
Update/Breakthrough
If you are reading for the first time…thank you for visiting. If you are visiting because of my update then thank you for your time, for visiting and reading again…
The subject of bullying and abuse is a subject that’s very close to my heart. Both my children were bullied…we still struggle with the aftermath…
Crazywriterof6’s comment (‘ I try ‘)…below has provided the key to help me unlock what I have wanted to share but couldn’t verbalise…until now.
My response…to Crazywriterof6…was as follows…
“Lovely to see you here, thanks for visiting and commenting! The main thing is that we continue to ‘try’.
I have learned a lot from my children. When my children were bullied I saw that our sense of power is taken from us – we feet (should read feel) useless/powerless or in otherwords demotivated/disempowered. (We give up ‘trying’ because we have been told through the actions of abusers that we are not good enough; ie we are told we are too stupid, too slow, too skinny, too fat, too smelly, gay etc….)
But if we can take on board the idea that what we ‘try’ to do today is ‘good enough’ for today and if we remain motivated to ‘try’ again tomorrow (no matter how bad we think ‘we’ or our effort was)…then we are on the path to accepting ourself as ‘good enough’…that’s all we need to be…we don’t need to be perfect!
And when we learn to be happy with not being perfect (not comparing ourselves to others) then it’s an awesome realisation and feeling of being ‘good enough as I am! A realisation that I don’t need to be like anybody else – I am myself”
Keep writing, keep ‘trying’ !! Best wishes, Marie. Thanks for helping me put this into words for the first time (feeling emotional now!) Bless you!
The work of ‘Alfred Adler…Individual Psychology’ has been a positive in this journey for me and informed my learning…you may find it interesting also.
Please share your thoughts with me!
Much love,
Marie
Create Space 
December 22, 2017 at 1:09 am
I think there is contentment when you accept you for you.
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December 22, 2017 at 6:25 am
I agree wholeheartedly Donna. It took a lot to reach that state of acceptance and there can still be small occasional setbacks but that state of overall contentment and inner peace would be a best seller if it could be bottled!!
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December 22, 2017 at 12:20 pm
Yes. And a gift to our younger selves.
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December 22, 2017 at 5:06 am
I try to do that… try, lol
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December 22, 2017 at 7:18 am
Lovely to see you here, thanks for visiting and commenting! The main thing is that we continue to ‘try’.
I have learned a lot from my children. When my children were bullied I saw that our sense of power is taken from us – we feet useless/powerless or in otherwords demotivated/disempowered.
But if we can take on board the idea that what we ‘try’ to do today is ‘good enough’ for today and if we remain motivated to ‘try’ again tomorrow (no matter how bad we think our effort was)…then we are on the path to accepting ourself as ‘good enough’…that’s all we need to be…we don’t need to be perfect!
And when we learn to be happy with not being perfect (not comparing ourselves to others) then it’s an awesome realisation and feeling of being ‘good enough as I am!”
Keep writing, keep ‘trying’ !! Best wishes, Marie. Thanks for helping me put this into words for the first time (feeling emotional now!) Bless you!
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December 22, 2017 at 7:19 am
🙂 Bless you too!
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December 24, 2017 at 4:03 am
I’m so sorry that your children were bullied and for the times you didn’t feel good enough. Those times are painful. Making the effort to quiet or ignore those voices that say we don’t measure up is well worth it. For me, when I am able, I feel free. Unfortunately, it’s a life long battle for most of us. Thank you for this thought provoking post and your honesty.
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December 24, 2017 at 5:10 am
Thanks Brenda for your concern and response. Thankfully we have come a long way and are in a much better place! Lack of empathy and support were two major hurdles and still my son’s teachers just don’t ‘get’ the after affects!
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