This post invites you to consider the power of our words. Words can build us up or without doubt, knock us down!
At any time of the year, but particularly Christmas, emotions can run high! If you are feeling upset, hurt and angry and you feel like flinging angry words of blame at somebody, such as…
1. You are selfish,
2. You are lazy, or
3. You have no relationship with me,
Try to pause and breathe before using these dangerous “You” statements…
“You” statements shift the entire blame onto the other person, refusing to take any responsibility ourselves and these “You” statements have the power to destroy any hopes of effective communication and damage a person’s confidence and self-esteem.
However, if we can replace “You” statements with “I” statements…We have a better chance of naming the real issue, we can help the other person understand our emotions or how we feel and we can engage in effective, problem solving communication!
Here could be some alternatives to the above troublesome “You” statements…
1. “I” feel disrespected when you don’t contribute
2. “I” feel used when I’m left to do all the jobs
3. “I” feel I’m the one putting all the work into our relationship.
These examples are just some food for thought. They may help change our perspective and open us up to understanding!
Maybe you’ve experienced a hurtful “You” statement? Well, I invite you to contribute a “You” statement with an alternative, more effective “I” statement?
Let’s influence effective communication…let’s start an “I” before “You” collection!