
This post invites you to consider the power of our words. Words can build us up or without doubt, knock us down!
Emotions can run high at any time! If you are feeling upset, hurt and angry and you feel like flinging angry words of blame at somebody, such as…
1. You are selfish,
2. You are lazy, or
3. You have no relationship with me,
Try to pause and breathe before using these dangerous “You” statements…
“You” statements shift the entire blame onto the other person, refusing to take any responsibility ourselves and these “You” statements have the power to destroy any hopes of effective communication and damage a person’s confidence and self-esteem.
However, if we can replace “You” statements with “I” statements…We have a better chance of naming the real issue, we can help the other person understand our emotions or how we feel and we can engage in effective, problem solving communication!
Here could be some alternatives to the above troublesome “You” statements…
1. “I” feel disrespected when you don’t contribute
2. “I” feel used when I’m left to do all the jobs
3. “I” feel I’m the one putting all the work into our relationship.
These examples are just some food for thought. They may help change our perspective and open us up to understanding!
Maybe you’ve experienced a hurtful “You” statement? Well, I invite you to contribute a “You” statement with an alternative, more effective “I” statement?
Let’s influence effective communication…let’s start an “I” before “You” collection!
Le grà,
Marie xx
December 8, 2017 at 10:38 pm
Wonderful post and SO true!!! I loved everything you said here! Thank you for pointing this out and I really hope everyone has learned something today from your post!!!!!
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December 8, 2017 at 10:51 pm
Thanks for your company Alyssa and I’m so glad you got something from my post! I wish you well, enjoy your weekend!
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December 8, 2017 at 10:53 pm
Thank you! I hope you have a great weekend as well!
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December 8, 2017 at 11:37 pm
“I” think this is a great post!
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December 9, 2017 at 12:49 am
I appreciate your company and quirky take on ‘I’t!
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December 10, 2017 at 4:23 am
Yes, instead of “your memory is wrong,” we could try, “I don’t remember it that way!”
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December 10, 2017 at 9:28 am
Great addition to the collection Ann, and such a truthful statement as our memory of any event is subjective and the ‘I’ statement takes responsibility for the memory in question! Thanks for reading and sharing a gem of wisdom!
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December 11, 2017 at 5:32 pm
Very enlightening perspective !
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December 11, 2017 at 6:09 pm
Thanks B, I appreciate your feedback and thanks for visiting!
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April 22, 2019 at 8:35 pm
Well said Marie, a much more skilful way to address issues, a useful solution 🙂
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April 25, 2019 at 5:05 am
Great post Marie! 😀
Bless you,
Jennifer
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April 26, 2019 at 10:06 pm
Thanks Jennifer, if you can add a helpful ‘I’ statement please do! Xx
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April 28, 2019 at 6:01 am
I feel disrespected when you demand to know why I have declined an invitation.
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April 29, 2019 at 9:46 pm
I love that I statement Jennifer, a very useful one that reminds us that we are perfectly within our rights to say no to an invite and not have to explain ourselves! Thank you! Xx
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