Clutch’ caught a hold of me, it held on tight. It accompanied me throughout the day, bubbling under the surface during the night.
On waking it sought me to sift through many memories…
I saw myself learning to clutch and break, as a learner driver, hands gripping in fear onto the gear stick and steering wheel for dear life.
I recalled the heady feeling of being held in the warm clutches of a young marriage.
I clutched my first child to me, in total awe with the process of birth and procreation.
I clutched my precious Nana to me as she slipped peacefully away to her heavenly reward and sang gently to her to guide her passing.
I clutched onto new jobs, new roles, new homes and new household acquisitions caught in the drive to prove myself.
I clutched even tighter to my second child born three months premature but initially, only for brief moments, when he could be taken from his incubator.
I clutched to my husband, family and friends as we faced fears of the unknown together.
But slowly I grew…
I matured and I learned to trust. I didn’t need to micro-manage every aspect of life. Instead I began to let go my ‘clutch’ on people, possessions and power. Instead I opened up to the possibilities of choices. I opened up to the unique being that we all are!
I let go my clutch on people, possessions and power and replaced it with freedom. I found that freedom through acceptance, belief, autonomy and gratitude.
Life taught me acceptance… that everything has its season and is for a reason.
Life brought me belief… in myself and others; that we are each, good enough as we are.
Life showed me that letting go control… feeds and nurtures autonomy: self-drive; in myself and everybody I interact with.
Life brought me gratitude… for the blessings, love, opportunities and experiences that unfold as each day moves just as it’s meant to!
Thanks for reading! What does ‘clutch’ mean to you?