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Attitude & Altitude

Can a conversation with a taxi driver alter your life’s journey?

 

Recently I was very privileged to have a conversation with what I can only describe as an amazing human “being” – a taxi driver.  He told me he was 80 and when asked why he wasn’t retired and taking life easy, he said his wife had died recently and he had nobody to talk to at home.  I though how sad and lonely that must be but he proceed to tell me that he took up taxi driving because he enjoyed chatting to customers.

He told me he had come through throat cancer, a heart attack, a stroke and recently had his knee replaced.  His friend introduced him to music and as a result he has been going to college, learning music for the last 3 years.  I told him he was amazing and asked what was his secret?  He replied “two things, attitude and altitude”.  I asked what he meant and was blown away when he said “It’s all down to how I look at things, my “attitude” and my love of sky diving or “altitude”.  His last sky dive was in February of this year!  He also uses Facebook!  Hands up anybody who would like to be this adventurous, tech savvy and active at 80 plus!

So can we broaden our horizons of understanding of life by studying our taxi driver?    How many widows or widowers are home alone and lonely?  How difficult must life be when a life-partner dies and leaves you all alone?  How many days might you go without talking to another adult?  What determination and resilience must it take to face up to this new stage of life?  If our mental and physical health allow, we can seek out social interaction and new challenges.  However, if our physical health restricts our movement, life’s horizons becomes limited.  Likewise if anxiety or depression are present, it might accelerate loneliness by resisting social interaction and increasing isolation.  Can we be proactive like this taxi driver?  How can we continue “being” when life as we knew it is no more?  Our taxi driver resisted isolation, he sought out social interaction – human company through his taxi business.  He engaged in new learning.  He maintained a positive attitude and took on new challenges in life and online.  And what can we do?  We can begin by questioning our attitude to life.  Are we on a roundabout, just going round and round?  In other words are we living without questioning our thoughts and behaviours?  Are we caught in ground-hog day, denying ourselves the opportunity to grow, to learn from our experiences.  We can take time out to consider ourselves, our family and our neighbours.  Let’s keep an eye out in our family and neighbourhood for somebody who might be a lonely and give a gentle check-in to ascertain how they’re coping.  Or how about visiting a local Nursing or Retirement Home. Maybe our visit could brighten somebody’s day and we might even be takenaback by how positive that makes us feel!

I wish you a day filled with happiness in your own company or in the company of others!

 

 

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Bullying & Beyond…8.Perpetuating Social Norms…

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

 

Today I would like to share T.S’s very emotive, true story from his blog “Crazywriterof6.” As I read T.S’s distressing reality, I felt my body became anxious.  I felt his apprehension and fear.  His sense of loneliness and isolation is palpable.  He says… “Maybe some of you can relate and see that even then, you weren’t alone”. No child should be in dread every day, isolated and living with the fear of bullying!

In my last post I wrote about the difficulty I had in supporting my children, both victims of bullying, because of the pressure on victims to remain silent.  You might like to read it… Big Boys…Don’t Cry!

We now hear in T.S’s own words, his deeply ingrained and debilitating belief as to why he was bullied… “The torture continued. Many moments before this event, many after. I have written some of them out, just to get them out. All this because I was different than the “normal people”, different from what society says I should be. Different because I was overweight”.  I believe he was not different… everybody is different and everybody has the right to be respected for who and how they are.

Please enhance your understanding by reading his story…

https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/48424428/posts/20

At a funeral yesterday, one sentence struck me, that sentence was “We could all be better people,” meaning we could all do more to be there for others.

Let’s break down the silence and begin a cross cultural, worldwide conversation about bullying.  Let’s educate ourselves and our children about bullying and let’s tear down out-dated social norms.

Le grà,

Mindfully Marie xx

 

 

 

 

Dee’s Word of the day…Accomplish

My daughter accomplished this amazing Gingerbread House for Christmas.  If I was to compare my creativity to her’s I’d find myself sadly lacking!  So I just don’t!

So the message is… Stop waisting your energy.

Stop comparing what you do or don’t accomplish with what somebody else accomplishes.

You are not somebody else, you are you!

Le grà (with love),

Marie xx

Bullying & Beyond…7.Big Boys…

 

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

Whenever our daughter was bullied she would invariably come home upset and tell us or sometimes her upset would become obvious to us after a while, when we took the time to Really Listen!

It was always upsetting to see her so distressed, usually she felt very lonely having been excluded or she was confused and frustrated as to why she was constantly called names and verbally abused. But either way we could comfort her and reassure her that the bullying was not about her but that the problem was that of the bullies.

However, it was not so easy to offer support when our son experienced bullying simply because you can’t help a child who is being bullied, if you don’t know about it. For a long time our son kept the bullying to himself and kept the upset deep inside. I think our son did not want to add to our worries by sharing the difficulty he was having.  I also think another contributing factor to his silence, was social norms. These powerful messages or ways of behaving which are normalised within a society or culture are very powerful and from a young age, boys are conditioned to be tough, be manly and above all, they are bombarded with the message that whatever you do… don’t cry!

If you’d like an excellent insight into bullying I highly recommend you visit Weeping Pines and read Parikhit’s post which shares his experience of bullying… Boys dont Cry

Have you or your child been bullied?  If so did cultural and social norms play a part in maintaining your distress?

Let’s get a conversation going about bullying! Let’s break down the silence around bullying and change some out-dated social and culturally accepted norms.

Le grà (with love),

Marie xx

Appetite

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I think I lost my appetite when WordPress stopped their Daily Prompt but now I feel my appetite returning thanks to Dee’s Daily Prompt at Thriving not Surviving!  I’m looking forward to savouring some new words and satisfying my appetite!

Le grà, (with love)

Marie xx

Thriving not Surviving

Can anybody tell me, in plain english, how to ‘pingback’ to a post?  Have I done it correctly by putting a link to the post as above?

Riddle…

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Enlighten yourself, it lights the way!

Life is one long riddle…or need it be?

R   Ruminating, if it’s the negative sort, will hold you back,

I   Initiative & Imagination propels you forward,

D  Doubting yourself merely

D  Damages your Initiative & Imagination

L  Love yourself,  as you are,

E  Enlightenment follows and solves your puzzle!

Much love,

Marie xx

wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/riddle/

 

 

Bullying & Beyond…6.Avoid the hook!

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Time and the right conditions not only preserve but bring about something of beauty – Marie Clancy.

This post has been updated with a therapist’s viewpoint…

Your son or daughter arrives home from school, you know by their mood and verbal and non-verbal behaviour that they are upset.  Maybe you notice they are avoiding you, they resist talking to you about their day or they might even tell you lies, pretending there is nothing wrong.

You might witness their mood deteriorating further and that might include them turning their frustration on you by shouting, blaming and generally behaving disrespectfully.

You are likely at this point to notice your temper rising and your patience being tested. This is the crucial moment…try to avoid the hook, try to resist being sucked into the argument.  Getting caught up in a two way shouting match serves no purpose!

Try to be mindful that this behaviour is your son or daughter’s way of coping with the upset they are feeling as a result of being bullied.

They are trying to cope by literally tossing some of their upset off themselves and onto you.  The very best thing that you can do is avoid becoming emotional.

Instead, calmly and patiently see if you can get to the root of the problem.  What is the underlying issue?  If the emotional outburst continues, again, calmly but firmly inform your child that you refuse to deal with them and set a time to talk later, when they have calmed down.  Then walk away, leave the environment.

Importantly, now is a good time to think of self-care (you might like to read my previous post Here)

Once you have practiced some self-care you will be feeling much calmer and in a better place to help your child.

It is vitally important that at the appointed time or when your child has calmed down that you follow up with them and try to ascertain the difficulty they are having.  If you do, you are showing them that their issue is of concern to you. You are also building trust.

UPDATE…

I would like to thank Jennifer @ Tea With Jennifer for this insight which she kindly gave me permission to share with you.

“From a therapist’s viewpoint the behavior of the child is a form of communication, communicating that they are in crisis & can’t verbalize it correctly.

So they start acting out subconsciously, thus bringing attention to the crisis within them. Fear often manifests itself as anger in many especially males.

Blessings,

Jennifer”

https://teawithjennifer.blog

Have you ever experienced a situation similar to the above?  What happened during it? How did you handle it? Please share, I’d love to hear your experience.

Much love,

Marie xx

A time for “Joy!”

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My Angel of joy!

 

Christmas has been family orientated, restful and restorative.  Today I want to wish you a very happy New Year and share my word for the new year ahead.

The word I want to focus on is JOY.  I want to continue what was my new focus on GRATITUDE over the last twelve months and develop it into GRATITUDE that highlights the JOY in my life!

I want to find JOY in the ordinary.  I want to find joy when I wake up every morning to help me shift the NAT (negative automatic thought) that always tells me I’m exhausted despite what should have been adequate sleep.  I want to find JOY at every opportunity, no matter how my body feels and I want to do my best to bring that feeling of JOY into the lives of those around me!

Here is some of the JOY that I found already today…

A lie on in bed, reading blogs, reading and replying to amazing comments, a lazy breakfast with no eye on the time and surrounded by family, an unexpected hug of appreciation and writing this post to share with you!

What brought JOY into your day? How did you share it with others?

What is your word for the new year?

Much love,

Marie xx

New Years Resolutions — Valentino Therapy

There are 168 hours in a week. 40 or so for work. 56 for sleep. 72 left over. And you really can’t find 3-4 hours a week to exercise? 1 hour to make healthy foods and drink? 1/2 hour a week to focus on gratitude? Focus on what’s important this new year. Visit the […]

via New Years Resolutions — Valentino Therapy

A surefire recipe for success…

 

A wish from me to you!

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This Christmas “… I wish you joy and happiness

But above all this I wish you love”

(Whitney Houston)

Thank you to all my wonderful blogging family for your company over the past twelve months.  I’ve got to know so many amazing friends!  I’ve really enjoyed your comments and I can’t say loud enough, how much I appreciate your encouragement and engaging conversations!

“I Will Always Love You”

No.1 in December, 1992.

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(originally by Dolly Parton)

(from “The Bodyguard” soundtrack)

 

If I should stay

I would only be in your way

So I’ll go but I know

I’ll think of you every step of the way

 

And I… will always love you, ooh

Will always love you

You

My darling, you…

Mmm-mm

 

Bittersweet memories –

That is all I’m taking with me.

So good-bye.

Please don’t cry:

We both know I’m not what you, you need

 

And I… will always love you

I… will always love you

You, ooh

 

[Instrumental / Sax solo]

 

I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of

And I wish you joy and happiness

But above all this I wish you love

 

And I… will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

 

I will always love you

I, I will always love you.

 

You.

Darling, I love you.

I’ll always…

I’ll always love you.

Ooh

Ooh

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/whitneyhouston/iwillalwaysloveyou.html

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D3JWTaaS7LdU&ved=2ahUKEwibjPvxq7TfAhWBQRUIHfBvD9sQ3ywwAXoECA8QEA&usg=AOvVaw12kpDbZ26jz-LiItl5sUZW

 

 

 

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